Why haven't these been answered?

OK...I've been waiting patiently for these replies to my questions, but I must say, I am pretty disappointed. To review all of the questions, click here.

If you are too lazy (like I am), here are some of the questions. (I have removed a few due to the fact that I don't really care these days...)

*****UPDATE: LGF was the first person to answer, so I'm posting his replies. Come on, y'all...get in the groove here! I will post new replies in different colors to show that I'm equal opportunity and all that.

1. The singers for Air Supply…gay or not gay? (I’m not a homophobe…I’m just wondering. After the revelation in a comment left about Fabio being gay, I’m leaving NO STONE or SINGER unturned.) I realize this dates me as a true ‘80’s chick, but it’s something I’ve wondered about since jr. high. I always thought they were singing to each other.

LGF sez: Not that anyone knows. While Graham Russell and Russell Hitchcock may well be two of the biggest wusses in the music industry, they aren't out of the closet.

BP Hockey Chick sez: Air Supply - that depends on if you mean gay like they suck or gay like homosexual. I'd say yes to the first and no to the second.

Des sez: There's an SNL skit with Chris Farley and Tim meadows about 2 straight guys that sing love songs to each other. I think we all know who they mean.


2. Why doesn’t Tonya Harding go out for roller derby? She can skate and kick ass (as we’ve seen in various news items through the years), plus she’s kind of scary-looking. Not ugly, just intimidating.

UPDATE: Tonya Harding has a website...www.tonyaharding.com. Maybe I should visit and ask her about the roller derby options.

LGF sez: Probably not as much publicity... or money...combined with lack of interest

BP Hockey Chick sez: She's definitely an American phenomenon: we don't really have roller derby or female boxing here the way she would fit in down there. Sorry, you're stuck with her.

Des sez: .I think the roller derby chicks are tougher than Tonya.

Mr. Fabulous sez: It is time I fessed up. I have always had a thing for Tonya Harding. (Note from editor: Why am I NOT surprised this is the only question he would answer?)

3. Why do people get so offended at the crocodiles in “Pearls Before Swine”? To me, they’re hilarious because they’re stupid yet optimistic, but I don’t identify them as being a different ethnic group than myself. Different species, yes. To me, when I read the crocs’ dialogue, I think of Cookie Monster (who is also a different species than myself). If you recall, one of his standard lines is “Me do anything for cookie.” Me just want answers.

LGF sez: Because people are stupid, and anything will offend someone these days, like the taco bell dog for example.

BP Hockey Chick sez: Again, must be an American thing. I've never seen the comic. But the speech strikes me as a Jamaican patois. But I don't know why people would be offended by that. People get their knickers in a twist by a good stiff wind these days.

Des says: What ethnic group are they supposed to be? The funny one? Because that's correct. And who are the mouse, pig, zebra, etc. supposed to be?

4. Why isn’t there a law that once Academy Award nominations are released, there should also be a “gag order” on all articles predicting who will win? I don’t want to find out until that night, y’all! Especially if my choices don’t agree with the “general public’s”.

LGF sez: Because if there wasn't all the hype and guessing, there'd be an even smaller tv audience.

BP Hockey Chick sez: I hate the Academdy awards so I think there should be a gag order on the whole damned thing. I hate all awards shows. Waste of TV. But then again I'm a Discovery Channel, TLC and A&E nerd.

Des sez: They have to validate such a long ceremony. Why do they save best actor for last? Sexist.

5. Why do both Betty and Veronica chase after Archie? Why don’t they see the light on a permanent basis and sue him jointly for alienation of affection or something? Also, if Reggie technically could have Veronica, why does he go after Big Moose’s girlfriend when he knows he’s going to get the ever-loving CRAP beaten out of him? (Yes, I do stay up at night thinking about these things. That’s what happens when one has no life.)

LGF sez: Personally I always thought they should just start dating each other.

BP Hockey Chick sez: They both chase Archie because everyone else in the town is fully taken, I think. And Reggie's an ass. I always liked Betty.

Des sez: Betty & Veronica combined are the perfect girl. This comic was written by a man. Sexist.

8. While at the Metro station last night, I ran across three gentlemen in their 20s wearing Hooters t-shirts and fake WWF Champion Belts. Why is it that the Champion Belts look good on the actual WWF people, but on any other schmuck it looks like a girdle?

LGF sez: Two words.......body size.

BP Hockey Chick sez: They don't look good on wrestlers either. I hate wrestling.

Des sez: Sexist.

9. What, exactly, is the appeal of “Sleepless in Seattle”? It’s a movie about two people who’ve never met. One’s a lonely widower who should have called the classic rock station in Seattle to request “Nights in White Satin”, but he called the talk radio station instead. His white-bread sadness is somehow heard by a Woman Who Doesn’t Know What She Wants (Meg Ryan), and she decides that she has to meet this guy. She’s dumping a perfectly nice guy who loves her for some guy she’s never met who could be an axe murderer. I saw it, and I came out angry because it was so TOTALLY unrealistic. Completely, unilaterally unrealistic and annoying. Sorry, folks. I guess I ain’t a romantic.

LGF sez: It's a movie about destiny. It helps people hold on to that belief that if two people are truly meant to be together, that nothing can keep them from finding each other. The fact that they live on opposite sides of the country away, and still find each other.... and all of this without the benefit of cupid.com!

BP Hockey Chick sez: I've never seen the movie so I can't really comment. I really don't like chick flicks. (Note from editor: You are not missing a damned thing. This is one of the few films that moved me to throw Raisinets at the screen by the POUND.)

Des sez: There's no appeal.

So, since we've got answers, I can guess the following about LGF, anyway...

1. He's a hopeless romantic
2. He's into chick-on-chick comic book action
3. He hates Air Supply as much as I do.

I knew I liked him for a reason.

*****Update: Since BP Hockey Chick and Des also answered questions, let me make additional notes:

From BP: Sidebar - man, I seem to hate a lot this morning. Must need more coffee.
So, there you go. My grumpy 7 am answers. :-)

No mention of Des' caffeine consumption. OH well...that's how it goes, I guess.

And Mr. Fab, as usual, does the minimum but still manages to make my skin crawl. (Just kiddin', Mr. Fab...I'm blaming the skin crawling on Tony Danza.)

Any other answers? Bring 'em on!!!!!!
Sudiegirl

I'm back...I'm sure you missed me...

Jessica Simpson told to rest her voice
(Finally...tangible proof that there IS a God.)

Well, folks...I was sicker than the proverbial dog yesterday. I think I caught a cold or something...I sounded like Charles Bronson, my glands were swollen, and my nose would alternate between running and stopping up like I poured cement in there. Can you say YUCK? Anyway, all I can say is thank GOD for Sudafed PE! Oh yeah...I'm still coughing and snotting around to a degree, but nowhere NEAR what it was yesterday.

YUCK YUCK YUCK.

Also, went to the psych yesterday, and she's increasing the Lamictal, but I have to get the blood test taken to check my lithium levels. Blah. That's the part I hate, but I have to do it.

I'm not scared of needles per se, but I'm a hard stick, meaning my blood vessels are not going to cooperate. I tell the phlebotomist/nurse/whoever that I'm a hard stick, but they never seem to believe me until they actually try for a vein and learn for themselves.

God forbid if I have to give blood...I remember going to a couple blood drives, and again they didn't listen to me when I said I was a hard stick. One woman wasn't paying any attention at all, and it wasn't until I screamed "OW OW OW OW!" that she paid attention. But by that time, I had a hematoma that was shaped kind of like Elvis or Orson Welles (depending on the angle you were viewing from).

Her statement after that? "Gee, I guess you ARE a hard stick, huh?"

The only thing that saved her from being pummelled was the fact that the Red Cross people brought cookies. Cookies hath charms to soothe the savage Sudiegirl.

Another time when I tried to donate, it was a gentleman doing it. Again, I said the same thing..."I'm a hard stick, just so you know."

So what does he do? He tries to put the needle in a vein on my hand and MISSES.

Sudiegirl's response? "OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW! Jesus Christ, are you trying to KILL ME???"

Ed (husband #2) was already done and about ready to bust someone's head. Luckily, the nurse came in, helped the phlebotomist out, and said, "I don't think we should try this today."

Gee, ya think?

Anyway, enough of my tale of woe. It's time to make some observations regarding the world around us.

First of all, we have a "Huh?" award winner.

The "Huh?" award winner for today:

Recipient: Daniel Edwards

Reason for award: He created a very...uh...MOVING sculpture dedicated to the first "kitten" in the TomKat household.

To quote the article:

Turning "fine art" into what may be the most subjective term in the world, a bronze sculpture entitled Suri's Bronzed Baby Poop, inspired by TomKitten's first solid meal and the fecal matter that presumably followed, will go on display Wednesday.

Daniel Edwards, who previously brought us Monument to Pro-Life: The Birth of Sean Preston, the sculpture of a very pregnant and very nude
Britney Spears giving birth on a bearskin rug, is the man responsible for this idea, which according to a press release was also inspired by the successful children's book Everybody Poops.

The sculpter means for this ode to baby poop to be a statement on modern media - in short, the media pays more attention to celebrity babies than on other critical issues facing the world today (war, famine, etc.)

Judge's comments:

Uh...hmmm...

OK. I GUESS I can see the artistic statement/relevance of this piece, especially if I step away from it about five feet and squint. Then it looks more like an abstract paperweight.

I have actually thumbed through the book Everybody Poops and was very tempted to buy it for my sister's children at one time. Not sure why, really, but there ya go.

However, couldn't the bronzed feces be attributed to anyone? It could be Sean Preston's poo...it could be Shiloh's poo (as in Brangelina's offspring)...it could be any celebrity baby's poo. Other than the artist telling us that it's Suri's poo, how do we know?

I feel kind of ripped off here. I want some kind of validation...an authenticity certificate or SOMETHING, telling me whose poop it really is.

And to you parents out there, don't babies poo even if they're just taking in breast milk? I thought they did, but since I have never whelped any babies, I could be wrong.

*****UPDATE: I received two comments re: baby poo and breastfeeding. Here they are.

1. From LGF

He states: Typically the poop that follows breast milk is mostly liquid and comes out in little bitty eruptions. It's yellowish, has a weird odor to it, and stronly resembles Dijon Mustard. (Some might say Grey Poop-on. Sorry, had to go there)

2. From a mystery guest named "Circe"

She states: re the poo - perhaps it's suri's poo because there's some contreversy as to whether she even exits - the fact that she poo's is just further proof that she's definately real and just like anyone else - stink and all (poo before solid food and breastmilk only really isn't stinky, just smells different, the stink doesn't start until after they start eating real food)
_____
From the "Well, at LEAST this state produced Grant Wood, John Wayne and Meredith Willson..." files

Yes, it's true...Tom Arnold is again soon-to-be-single.

And YES, he's originally from my home state...his hometown is Ottumwa, Iowa.

Trivia for you: Ottumwa and Washington are in the same sports conference, and ol' Tom attended my collegiate alma mater as well. (Yeah, yeah, quit laughing.)

In addition, the brother of one of my good high school friends worked for the construction company that got stiffed by Tom Arnold and Rosanne Barr. Yep...it's true...their mansion was only half done and they never paid up. I never had any "Roseanne" sightings, nor did I eat in their "Big Food Diner". Oh well...I guess I'll never know the mystique.

Anyway, Arnold and his third wife are separating as opposed to divorcing. According to the article:

A legal separation simply entails a permanent division of a couple's assets, and paves the way for an easier reconciliation than if the marriage was officially dissolved.

Apparently he has learned from his past mistakes.
_____

Next, in the "Interesting Incentives" files...

Brothels in Sydney, Australia are offering discounts to customers based on their petrol bills.

In short, if they want a cheap lay, they have to produce a receipt for their gas costs and they'll get a discount. In this case, they will have 20 cents taken off their "pleasure bill" for every gallon of gas they put in their car. They even have coupons! To quote the article:

There is no link between brothels, petrol providers or supermarkets but brothels like The Site and Madame Kerry's say the system is simple. Once you've filled up your car, bring your receipt to the brothel and they'll discount the price of your visit. The bill for a full 50-litre tank at 126.9 cents per litre comes to A$63.45 (25.46 pounds). With the offered 20c a litre discount, the petrol bill would have instead come to A$53.45. That A$10 difference is taken off the A$150 cost of a 30-minute session with one of the brothel's "service providers". The Site has taken out cut-out newspaper ads offering the service.

Note to self: Do not allow D to go to Australia for his bachelor party. However, maybe I should save money for Tom Arnold, huh?

___

From the "This sounds like the title of a grade-Z horror movie starring William Shatner and David Hasselhoff" files...

First of all, here's the headline. Don't tell me that this doesn't conjure images of some nasty direct to video movie...

Psycho killer raccoons terrorize Olympia

I mean, COME ON! That's a great title. It's worthy of top billing if drive-ins were still in vogue.

Anyway, even though the headline is quite...um...DESCRIPTIVE, the concerns of this town are valid. A group of raccoons have been terrorizing the citizens of Olympia, Washington. So far, they have left the corpses of 10 cats in their wake, not to mention attacking a small dog and biting a pet owner who subsequently had to receive rabies shots.

I'm not downplaying their fear or mocking it...but it's a strain not to. Here's a quote from the article...

"It's a new breed," said Tamara Keeton, who with Kari Hall started a raccoon watch after an emotional neighborhood meeting drew 40 people. "They're urban raccoons, and they're not afraid."

Now doesn't that sound like the kind of line that William Shatner would utter to a crowd of angry townspeople? I can see it now...

William Shatner making his way through a crowd of people in the throes of fear, wearing a flannel shirt and jeans. The crowd noise is almost deafening as the citizens continue to panic and insist that none of Shatner's ideas will work.

OK...now here's the thing, gentle readers...if anyone feels brave enough to do this, be my guest.

What would YOU have Shatner say to the panicked throng of townspeople with regard to psycho killer urban raccoons???

If you're interested in playing this game, just put your thoughts in the comments, and all those who enter will have their statements placed in the next entry.

Go for it! What have you got to lose? (Besides your pride, that is...)

******UPDATE: Here are some killer lines from Shatner fans.

1. Again, from "Circe" the mystery guest...

William Shatner as Denny Crane - "can we get a double bed big enough for the racoons to join in?"

William Shatner as Cpt Kirk - "set...your phasers....on.....stun..spock...what is this...life form?...mccoy...can you ...develop...a serum?"

William Shatner re priceline - "we'll give you a great priceline discount if you happen to be bit and think of the memories"

2. From Hoss

William Shatner to the fearing crowd: "Fear not, my lovelies. I shall dress in my goldfish suit and pipe these babies right out of town."

____

Finally, a thought for the day...

"It is easier to live through someone else than to become complete yourself."
— Betty Friedan, American feminist and author (1921-2006).

Sudiegirl's response:

Can I pick who or what I want to live through? If I can, I pick living through George Clooney's clothes. Oh yeah...that's the stuff.

Monday malaise

I should be wearing these t-shirts today...I HATE ALLERGY SEASON.

Why?

Three words.

Post. Nasal. Drip.

I just can't win. Just when the heat wave breaks and I can start enjoying myself again, the crud flows and I feel like battery acid is rolling down the back of my throat. Bleah.

I can only drink so much Diet Pepsi to cut the corrosion, so your favorite bipolar redhead has that "come hither" voice going...in spades, baby.

I may change the message on my voicemail so I can further thrill the masses. At the very least, it will give the collection agencies a thrill.

Anyway, as a result of my malady I did not attend the Jazz Jam at Roy's Place in Gaithersburg as I had initially planned. For you DC-ites reading this, you can find out more by going to www.DCJazz.com or the Perry Conticchio Jazz Quartet web site. It's a good time on a Sunday night, and best of all, those under the drinking age can also attend as it's a restaurant/bar.

Come on...it'll be fun, and you might get to see what your favorite bipolar redhead looks like (however, please refrain from screaming and running out of the building until the break as it upsets the wait staff.)

*END OF SHAMELESS COMMERCIAL PLUG*

Beyond my sinus problems, there' s not a lot in my life to report, so let's expand the focus to the entire world and what's going on, OK?

If you click here, you'll see some letters responding to Tom Cruise's removal from Paramount Pictures. (WARNING - SPOILERS AHEAD)

One of them says the decision was "political" because of Cruise's dislike of Ritalin and anti-depressants. Whether or not the author of said letter has had experience with these medications is not mentioned. Furthermore, the author calls for filmgoers to "think twice" before seeing another Paramount film.

Well, GEE...isn't Viacom owned by Paramount too? Doesn't that mean we shouldn't watch Nick at Nite, Nickelodeon, MTV, VH-1, and TV Land? And doesn't Viacom own Showtime? Therefore, doesn't that mean that we shoudn't watch "Weeds", "The L Word", or any of their boxing matches?

I think that there's a CBS connection to Showtime as well...therefore, that means NO "King of Queens", no "CSI", no "Numb3rs", etc.

Damn...glad I watch Boomerang.

PS: If I am wrong about any of these affiliations, please let me know...I don't want to give incorrect information.

The second one states that Paramount should "pony up" (I assume they mean a monetary settlement).

Huh? I sincerely hope that this letter-writer's opinion was tongue in cheek.

Why? Cruise has been in the business for at least 20 years. If he hasn't saved any money to feed his various mouths, that is HIS problem, not Paramount's. Therefore, Paramount shouldn't really have to pay for all aspects of his stupidity.


The third one I agree with. She states what I've felt since this TomKat bull**** began. Cruise used to be likable (at least to me...), and now he's not. He's done too many stupid things, and thinks that he's never going to fall off the ivory tower.

At best, people may think Cruise was nuts for his various stunts. At worst, people may think that he's covering something up. Let's face it...since this crapola began, I haven't willingly watched a Tom Cruise movie in MONTHS. Not even the ones he made before the whole insanity began.

The fourth one also states that Paramount made a bad decision, and questions the difference between Cruise's antics and the antics of other celebrities.

I can't say I don't agree with that...however, what I thought about all this was that the couch-jumping and everything was nothing more than - well - staged. Sorry. I admit it.

You can't tell me that every celeb coming on "Oprah" has been motivated to jump on the furniture.

You can't tell me that every celeb is willing to pick fights with Matt Lauer on a national television show when the premise of the interview isn't about anti-depressants in the first place.

In other words, since Cruise's split with Nicole Kidman, it seems like he's trying to prove something. He finds a fertile, pretty girl who's several years younger than he, and gets her pregnant even though there was a statement made that they were going to abstain until marriage. The courtship was weird (not to mention short, and very creepy if the accounts of how things started are to be believed) and the public is just as much to blame for paying attention to every stupid little thing they say. Just like I am...hey...wait a minute.

Anyway, the score is Paramount = 1, Tom Cruise = 3.
I guess that's why I'm a humble secretary instead of a studio mogul. Apparently, I don't have the right frame of mind to appreciate a short, annoying little man like Cruise. Oh well...I'll just take my meds and be done with it.

OK...two "egg-suckin' dogs" today - man, I'm makin' up for lost time, eh?

Egg Suckin' Dog #1: Marlon Brown (plus nine un-named friends)

Reason for Egg-Suckin': He stole a very rare Bolivian squirrel monkey named SpongeBob.

To quote the article:

On July 17, police say, Brown and his friends spent the day at Chessington World of Adventures, an open-air zoo and theme park. Around 6:30 p.m., they broke into the monkey cages. Then what happened? The monkeys fought back at this intrusion, and one of them bit Mr. Brown on the head. When investigators examined the cage, they found blood, and the DNA sample of that blood matched Mr. Brown's.

The monkey was found on an estate and was playing with children, but was returned to the zoo.

Outcome: Mr. Brown was charged with theft.

Double plus bonus: SpongeBob is now back in the zoo, but the other monkeys have not accepted him back into the fold. To quote Det. Constable David Burton:

"They've tried to put him back with the group," said Burton, "but they are not happy having him back and made him most unwelcome. They've broken his tail."

Judge's comments:

Way to go, ya dork...you got arrested and made a poor li'l squirrel monkey's life miserable. Suck that egg, Mr. Brown...you've earned it.

Second egg-sucker: the "burger bandit" from Middlefield Ohio

Reason for egg-sucking: He scammed some fast-food places (among them: Wendy's and KFC), claiming the food he ordered was unsatisfactory. To quote the article:

A man who said he was a police officer approached a Wendy's employee in Middlefield, Ohio, and claimed he found a hair in his hamburger. But, police say, there were two problems: One, he wasn't a cop, and two, he'd never even ordered a burger.

In another incident, the article states:

The alleged fast-food fraud then made his way to three other restaurants, including Kentucky Fried Chicken, where he approached an employee and claimed he had purchased an eight-piece dinner that tasted old. The employee gave the man a fresh chicken dinner.

Even thought the man hasn't been caught yet, he's made off with a total of $16.17 worth of food.

Judge's comments:

1. Dumb-ass.

2. Maybe he should hook up with this lady...between the two of them, they'll have a sit-down meal in no time.


And finally, the judge's panel at Rancho Sudiegirl, Inc. have been "Blinded By Science" once again.
Scientific theory and/or discovery: Taller people are smarter. The official research paper can be found here.

To quote the article:

"As early as age three -- before schooling has had a chance to play a role -- and throughout childhood, taller children perform significantly better on cognitive tests," wrote Anne Case and Christina Paxson of Princeton University in a paper published by the National Bureau of Economic Research.

Other studies have pointed to low self-esteem, better health that accompanies greater height, and social discrimination as culprits for lower pay for shorter people.

But researchers Case and Paxson believe the height advantage in the job world is more than just a question of image.

"As adults, taller individuals are more likely to select into higher paying occupations that require more advanced verbal and numerical skills and greater intelligence, for which they earn handsome returns," they wrote.

Judge's comments:

While I understand the general gist of the article (prenatal health care and prenatal nutrition), as a quasi-short person I'm pretty honked off.

Why don't genetics play into it? I mean, let's face it...there are plenty of people in this world who were well-fed and well-tended-to that are just SHORT. That's how it is.

As Randy Newman put it..."Short people are just the same as you and I..."

And if you don't knock it off, we'll bite you on the ankle.

So in spite of my crankiness, I remain your ever-lovin'...

Sudiegirl
(Who's short and proud!)

No awards, but explanations of world wide weirdness would be nice, right?

Well, after updating yesterday's entry to prove that I have a conscience of some sort, today I thought I'd rant a while.

Whilst spelunking through the news, I saw two articles that made me kind of angry.

Please note: I am not one to NORMALLY get all riled up about sexism. I'm not sure why other than I enjoy watching two people fight when they're both riled up with a good old mad feeling boiling between them.

But when I read these two articles, I was really quite honked my own bad self, so I think I'll discuss them today.

If you click here and here, you will find two articles about a Baptist Church minister in New York who fired one Mary Lambert, a Sunday School teacher after 54 years of service.

Why? Because, according to the article:

"They quote First Timothy Two, 11-14: A woman should learn in quietness and full submission. I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man, she must be silent," (Mary) Lambert said, reading from the letter.

If you want to read the selection in full, go here.

Of course, the church board also said there were other reasons and that the Biblical verse cited was only part of the whole picture. This version of the news story states as such. I'm not exactly surprised, but of course the piece of information one latches on to is the Biblical reference.

I am not a Biblical scholar, nor have I ever claimed to be one.

This news item came out at an interesting time, though...my home church (United Methodist Church in Washington, Iowa) is celebrating 50 years of having ordained women in the ministry (as in being an actual preacher at the pulpit).

I have a male and a female rector at the Episcopal church I attend, and they both are great examples on what a daily walk with God should be like (even though there is no one perfect way). D was amazed that female rectors were allowed in the Episcopal church, and adapted to it quite quickly even though he was a "cradle Catholic".

I'm on the education committee at my church, in charge of adult education programs. My mother has been a communion steward AND taught Sunday School, and so has my sister.

In short, I'm used to seeing a woman serve God. I'm used to a Sunday School teacher educate those of the opposite gender. It's not strange or wrong in my eyes. It's a blessing in many ways. There are life issues that require a different point of view for full understanding, and let's face it...each gender has their strengths and weaknesses.

Here's my opinion (and again, it's like a nose - everyone's got one). In spite of what First Timothy says, God is the only one, really, who should judge. To me, a teacher is good at what they do based on the enthusiasm and love for their subject.

In short...plumbing doesn't have a thing to do with it.

PS: Thanks to my good friend Circe, here's another article that will guarantee healthy discussion and the potential for freezing cold shoulders this evening. Click here to go there.

I'm sorry I neglected you yesterday...so here's Thoughtless Thursday to do my penance with.

Judge to rule if 'meowing' is harassment
(Only at a dog show.)

Corruption dogs both parties this year
(Probably where the 'meowing' harassment comes into play)









N.J. student gives dorm room diet advice (If this involves boycotting ramen noodles and beef jerky, I am SO going to wring that student's neck.)

Thought for the day:

"Of the twenty or so civilizations known to modern Western historians, all except our own appear to be dead or moribund, and, when we diagnose each case ... we invariably find that the cause of death has been either War or Class or some combination of the two."
— Arnold J. Toynbee, English historian (1889-1975).

Sudiegirl's rebuttal:

"Uh...yeah, what he said."

_____

OK, pals 'n' gals...time for Sudiegirl to make amends b/c she was away yesterday.

I really did have a good reason, though...Michael R. Johnson, a cousin I was fairly close to, passed away. He was a neat guy, too.

He worked for many years at Spartanburg Day School, Spartanburg, South Carolina. He was a history teacher there as well as the headmaster. You can look at his obit here, and I'm sure you'll be wondering how on EARTH I could be related to him b/c he's pretty smart and I'm ...well...uh...yeah. Well, in spite of the statistics and common sense seeming to rule the day, I am related to him (his mother and my grandmother were sisters), and he was a pretty cool guy.

First off, the man was TALL, and it's not just the "oh, I'm a little kid and EVERYONE'S tall" thing. He was VERY TALL. He and his family would come visit every other year or something like that, and we would always have a good time. We'd laugh, visit, play games...and this next part, people never seemed to believe unless they actually witness it.

We'd have a dance in the livingroom (or wherever the piano was at the time).

Yeah, you read it right.

Mike would get on the piano and start playing waltzes, foxtrots, you name it. I didn't dance (I was a bit self-conscious about that), but I liked seeing the adults dance.

Once I got older, I got to hear more of Mike's jazz prowess. Wow. He played prelude music for my first wedding, and I am honestly able to say he's the first person I know of to play "Makin' Whoopee" in the United Methodist Church of Washington, Iowa and get away with it.

I remember when I was growing up that I hated singing for my relatives because it seemed like that's the only time they'd want me around. But Mike never turned a hair...he'd play anything the family wanted to hear.

Mike taught me that what it takes to be a good musician is patience with the audience. He'd play the schmaltzy stuff, but it was like he somehow knew he'd get to the "good stuff" later. I always admired that about him.

So Mike, you had better save me a seat at the celestial piano bar...I'm family, you know!

RIP, Mr. Johnson.

_____

OK, now on to what I do best - snipe at people I don't know. And really, isn't that what life is all about?

This first post is a combination "Where are they now?" post and the "I'm Sorry, But So Is Brenda Lee Award.

If you click here, you can read the articles with snotty comments interspersed about these charming folks...

So in addition to "Where are they now?", the "I'm Sorry, But So Is Brenda Lee" Award is going to:


Sarah and Kris Everson!!!

(Yes, I know the award states it's given to one sorry soul, but Rancho Sudiegirl is a dictatorship as far as these awards are concerned. In short, I give 'em out, and I decide - with the staff's help.)

To refresh your memories, Sarah and Kris Everson wove a web of lies (how dramatic...) and told community leaders in their hometown that Sarah had given birth to sextuplets, all of them critically ill. Co-workers, not to mention the whole town, made donations to the couple's bank account, a PO box, and a website designed to take online payments.

Needless to say, when the time came for them to show proof, there "weren't none".

BTW, in a twist I didn't even remember reading about before, here's a quote:

Community leaders in Grain Valley said the Eversons came to them in March, claiming that Sarah Everson had delivered six critically ill babies and that they needed assistance. The couple claimed the births had been kept secret by a court order because a family member was out to kill them.

Ah yes...the conspiracy theory...the last refuge of the nincompoop.

Well, gee...if you post a website with pictures showing you and your husband, isn't there a chance that this murderous-minded relative is going to SEE your pictures and claims of multiple fetuses (or is it fetii?) And people call ME a dumbass? At least I know when to go into stealth mode.

Their punishment, according to the article, was this:

Sarah and Kris Everson were sentenced to four years on probation after their pleas to charges of felony stealing by deceit. They also must repay about $3,700 to their victims and perform 40 hours of community service.

Well, they didn't comment after the hearing, but later on, Mrs. Everson opened her big mouth again.

According to Mrs. Everson, they were kicked out of their apartment and were living in their truck. Furthermore, she was unemployed and he was working as a day laborer. Between the two of them, they pay restitution of about $100 a month, give or take.

(Can you hear the world's smallest violin playing "I'm Sorry"? Me neither.)

I'm sorry - I don't have a whit of sympathy for these hayseeds whatsoever. I mean, I can just imagine the brain trust planning this scam in the first place...

She: "Hey, baby, ya know, we could use some money."

He: "I know, but we're both workin'. What else are we s'post'a do?"

She: "Well, I dunno...all I know is that the price of Big Gulps have gone up, and all my Mickey Mouse t-shirts are wearin' out. What're we gonna do?"

He: "Well, we could take our minds off of it and make up a big mess of Mac & Cheese with Spam in it. I know ya like that."

She: "Dammit, take me seriously! Spam isn't gonna do it this time. We gotta have a plan. Help me think."

He: "Well, ever'body likes those things you paint on old barn boards...you could start doin' that again..."

She: (cartoon light bulb pops up over her head) "I got it!"

He: "Got whut?"

She: "Well, ever'body loves babies, right?"

He: "Yeah...you gonna paint babies on old barn boards?"

She: "Naw, ya idgit...now listen ta me..."

And THUS, a shameless plan to suck money out of the good citizens of Grain Valley, MO was born. Of course, thinking it through (as in people expecting an end product when you say you're expecting) wasn't at the top of the planning list.
_____

*****For those of you who read this entry, I had awarded an "Egg-Suckin' Dog" and "Butthead Award" to Annie Donnelly, who was arrested for embezzlement of (roughly) $4.5 million dollars to feed her gambling habit.

A faithful reader (Edward H.) pointed out that I was suffering from "pot calling the kettle black" syndrome, and I can't say he was wrong.

I was going for sensationalism, and forgetting my own past problems with the almighty dollar while sacrificing Ms. Donnelly's name.

That's wrong, I admit it, and I apologize. Therefore, the entry has been edited to remove the awards and snotty comments about Ms. Donnelly, and I will try to be more thoughtful about things of this nature.

Thanks again to Edward H. for pointing this out to me. Now...back to the party...

The final award for today...another "Huh?"

Today's recipient: Wal-Mart

Why? Never, in all my years of existence, did I think that I'd see Wal-Mart opening up its blue doors and rolling down prices in China.

Aren't business like ol' Wally-World supposed to be representatives of the "capitalist swine" mentality?

And BTW, take note of this, from the article:

Since July, employees at at least 16 other Wal-Marts in China also have formed unions, according to the All-China Federation of Trade Unions, the umbrella group for unions permitted by the communist government.

Wal-Mart Stores Inc., based in Bentonville, Ark., has fought efforts to form unions elsewhere in its worldwide operations. But it said this month it would cooperate with the ACFTU to organize its Chinese employees.

The move to increase party influence in foreign invested companies comes at a time when China is pushing to unionize employees at 60 percent of China's foreign companies.

Unions in China usually represent the workforce of a single company or outlet, rather than a whole industry. China does not allow independent labor organizations.

So riddle me this, Batman. Nothing against China or anything, but how come a union (of any kind) is allowed for the Wal-Mart stores in China, but nothing of the kind is allowed here in the states? I mean, can't you even get fired for talking about organizing a union on the work floor?

Uh...so...does anyone have information on where the nearest apocalypse shelter is?

Or should I just say, "Who cares?" and get some more dishwasher soap?

I are confused, but still damned adorable.

Sudiegirl

News, stuff, things, awards...

Today in history:

In 1986, Kerr-McGee Corp. agreed to pay the estate of the late Karen Silkwood $1.38 million, settling a 10-year-old nuclear contamination lawsuit.







Thought for Today:

"Life does not give itself to one who tries to keep all its advantages at once. I have often thought morality may perhaps consist solely in the courage of making a choice." — Leon Blum, French statesman (1872-1950).

Sudiegirl's response:

What about the TIMING of the choice? I mean, if George Clooney is sucking on MY neck, morality is just another word, like "galoshes". If I said, "OH GEORGE, PLEASE...let's look at this from a moral standpoint...", he'd leave and I'd spend another evening watching Boomerang. Three words - No. Thank. You.

Well, it's a warm (but not humid) late-August day here in the Nation's Capital. And I've got some awards to divvy up here. Don't push, don't shove...everyone will get their own in time!

We've got two "Bonehead" awards today!

First recipient: Punit Shablok, a restauranteur from Mumbai, India

Reason for award: Naming his new restaurant "Hitler's Cross".

To quote the article:

'Hitler's Cross', which opened last week, serves up a wide range of continental fare and a big helping of controversy, thanks to a name the owners say they chose to stand out among hundreds of Mumbai eateries.

"We wanted to be different. This is one name that will stay in people's minds," owner Punit Shablok told Reuters.

"We are not promoting Hitler. But we want to tell people we are different in the way he was different."

The decor reflects the Third Reich tribute, using SS colors, a blazing red swastika, and
a gigantic portait of Hitler.

Judge's comments:

Would someone please get Mr. Shablok a PR firm, stat? (Either that or a cyanide capsule)

There are lots of unique people in the world. Why did you have to pick one that's noted for annihilating an entire race of people?

Come on...you could have picked...say...Heywood Banks! Or Carrot Top, maybe? How about Wayland Flowers and Madame (or whichever puppeteer is sticking their hand up Madame's skirt these days)?

This is truly offensive, and I really hope that Mr. Shablok comes to his senses SOON. Otherwise, he might go bankrupt, or else a loose cannon will set his Third Reich tribute eatery on fire. (Not me...I'm too broke to afford a flight to India.)

And BTW, having a big-ass picture of Hitler is more likely to make people lose their lunch than want to eat your lunch special. I'm just sayin'.

Second Recipient: District Judge Kristine Cecava

Reason for award: She decided to give a sex offender 10 years of intensive probation instead of jail time. The quote from this article states her reasoning...

In deciding against prison time, District Judge Kristine Cecava expressed concern that the 5-foot-1 Thompson would be especially vulnerable behind bars.

Nebraska Attorney General Jon Bruning seems to think the opposite way. To quote the article again:

"The punishment needs to fit the crime," Bruning said Monday. "Sexual assault of a child is a serious crime, and Mr. Thompson is a danger to Nebraskans."

Mr. Thompson was found guilty of having sexual contact with a 13-year old girl.

Judge's comments:

OK...let's look at various things that are smaller than us, yet very harmful.

1. Scorpions
2. Black widow spiders
3. Rattlesnakes (they may be long, but they're on their bellies so they're closer to the ground)
4. Ticks (they carry Lyme disease)
5. fire ants
6. Some mosquitos that carry malaria
7. Poisonous frogs
8. jellyfish
9. piranha (yep - they can eat a side of beef in, like, two seconds)
10. any small mammal that carries rabies.

So, where's the logic?

Let's face it - the little man made his bed, and he needs to lie in it.

It shouldn't matter if he's 5'1" or 6'5"...he took a girl's innocence away.

Through his actons, he made it that much harder for this girl to trust adults in general, and men in particular.

There's a price to pay for that. The fact that he didn't pay that price at the hands of the girl's parents is fortunate on his part, but now he's gotta go. If he meets a bad end in jail, he's no different from other sex offenders. He should have thought of that before he acted.

Sorry Charlie...them's the breaks.

A new award has been created today...it is the "Huh?" award, designed for those who make decisions that contrast greatly with what has gone before and we just don't get WHY. Again, this is sponsored by Rancho Sudiegirl, Inc., where our motto is "What the hell are you talking about?"

First Recipient: Media regulator Ofcom, out of Great Britain

Reason for Award: Based on ONE viewer (note the number) complaining, Ofcom posted an online bulletin stating that there were, quote, "concerns that smoking on television may normalize smoking..."

BTW, for you cartoon fans out there, the Tom & Jerry cartoons in question were "Texas Tom" (one of my favorites) and "Tennis Chumps" (one character is smoking a cigar).

As a result of this complaint, Ofcom went to Turner Broadcasting (the licensee for these cartoons). Turner Broadcasting edited the offensive scenes out.

Note of redemption: not all the smoking scenes in all the cartoons have been cut - only the two that have been named above. Again, to quote the article:

Ofcom said it recognized smoking was more generally accepted when cartoons were produced in the 1940s, 50s and 60s, but noted that the threshold for including such scenes when the audience is predominately young should be high.

*****UPDATE: as of this morning (per the article) the VP of programming acquisitions and presentation for Turner Broadcasting UK was quoted as saying:

"We have now pledged to view Boomerang's entire library of favorite cartoons and remove all other references that could be seen as glamorizing smoking in all our shows..."

Judge's comments:

OK...this is the country that gave us "Monty Python's Flying Circus".

This is the country where a film production company created "Trainspotting", which contains a "fantasy sequence" where a drug addict crawls into a filthy toilet to get his drug of choice.

So now, ONE person complained to this media regulator (and BTW, what IS THAT? Is that like Donald "let's ruin everything good about television" Wildmon's ministry?) and two GREAT cartoons are hacked up.

Also, I think most children know that cats and dogs in cartoons are different than their cat and/or dog. If they don't get it, they need to get it. But if kids DON'T get it, they need to be guided in many more ways than their television programming choices.

And finally, a long-awaited yet hardly coveted "Scrappy Doo" award will be given out once more. This award goes to ideas, people, entities, etc. that are totally unnecessary, just like Scrappy-Doo! So here's today's Scrappy-Doo...

And today's UNNECESSARY BEHAVIOR???

Buying cashmere for infants and toddlers!!!!

Yes, folks, it's true. Apparently, this is the newest thing for people with more money than sense. To quote the article:

NEW YORK (Reuters) - Three-year-old Chloe Colligan picks out her camp clothes at discount retailer Target, but for other occasions, she wears the cashmere, velvet, silk and woven cotton fashions of luxury children's clothing maker Baby CZ.

Now, I remember being a kid. I am also acquainted with toddlers. One thing I know for sure is that kids are hard on clothing. Also, if kids are fed, they will grow...it's a proven scientific fact.

So why in GOD's name would you spend a lot of money on clothing that will be ruined and/or outgrown in a year?

Well, gee...according to Cleveland entrepreneur Victoria Colligan, she had this to say about cleaning cashmere:

"It's a little bit of a misconception that something is uncleanable or unwearable if something happens to it," said Colligan, who also has a 2-year-old daughter named Somerset. "I can find a way to clean anything."

I'll bet you are thinking the same thing I am...the way she "cleans anything" is she has SOMEONE ELSE DO IT.

What a clueless cow. (And I'm not talking about her size...I'm talking about the fact that she's had offspring. If you remember one of the science lessons in this blog, a "cow" has had babies but a "heifer" has not. Therefore, I'm a heifer and she's a cow. Mooooooooooooo)

But anyway...the article talks about people having babies later, and having smaller families, and having more money to spend on the kids. Apparently, nobody's discussed the "just 'cause you've got lotsa money doesn't mean you have to spend it like a drunken sailor" principle.

My mom and dad made sure we had nice things - my mom could sew like nobody's business, and both Dad and Mom worked hard so we could have good, sturdy clothes. Hate to say it, but there are some things that Mommy can't share with Baby, and one of them should be cashmere.

I guess this is why I have cats, huh?

On that note, I'm leavin' ya alone until tomorrow. Don't kill each other, 'k?

Sudiegirl
(who doesn't even have a cashmere sweater...)

Breaking Up, Body Types, "Let's Just Be Friends" and how Sudiegirl feels about it all...

OK...

It's only the second day of the week, and already I am puzzled about things.

First off, a good friend of mine embarked on a relationship, and I was really happy for him. I even went so far as to send this guy an e-mail greeting card with two cartoon animals screaming their best wishes to him. If that isn't a symbol of friendship, I dunno WHAT is.

Anyway, I talked to him yesterday and asked him if he got the card.

He stammered a bit before he answered.

"Yeah...but...well, it didn't work out."

I was really surprised...he raved about her. He seemed to like her a lot. My GOD, he was practically GLOWING! If he weren't such a good friend, I'd have smacked him with my purse.

He later explained that they had "the talk", and he told her that he just couldn't "get into" her physically - to be blunt, he didn't like her body type. He said she was a "big girl", but didn't go into how big.

Once he told me that, I was torn about how to respond.

I have been on both sides on the fence as far as the whole "body type" thing. It used to make me angry (as in teens/early 20s) , but as I got older, I found it humorous.

I remember when I was on the dating scene after my first husband split. I did the personal ad thing, and to be honest, it was a definite sociology experiment.

It was always fine when we were on the phone - we'd chat and have a good time. However, once they laid eyes on me, it was a different story.

The most crass thing a guy ever did to me on a first date? I met this one guy through a personal ad. Again, the phone thing went very well...no worries...but we met at a local coffee shop, and that's when the problem reared its head.

I found him at a table by himself, and said, "Oh, you must be (insert name here). Hi - I'm Sue Ellen."

He looked at me, and I saw shock and disappointment cross his face at the same time. Not good.

Then he said the most inconsiderate thing I ever heard in my life..."Uh...I thought you'd be thinner. You sounded thinner over the phone."

I was flabbergasted. What was my reply?

"Well, gee, you sounded taller and like you had more hair. I guess I'll just have some mineral water, huh?"

(BTW, that was the shortest date I ever had in my life, if not in the history of mankind. If there have been shorter dates than this (about 1/2 hour), please let me know as I hate to be incorrect in my bragging rights.)

I've also been on the end where there's someone that TOTALLY doesn't appeal to me physically.

If that's the case, I try to be up front about my feelings as soon as I can in a nice way. I have used the "let's talk" and "let's just be friends" thing, but I am serious about the friendship part. You have to beat me off with a stick to get me to stop being your friend. I don't think that makes me unique, nor do I expect the "gold star" next to my name on the great chart of life.

However, Larry the Cable Guy put it best, and I'm going to paraphrase it here...

"Saying 'let's just be friends' is like your mom telling you the dog's dead but you can still keep it if you want to." It's just not going to work.

However, I have employed the craven method of, "No, Sue Ellen's not here - she's dead." response on the phone. I find that does work in a pinch, and nobody's asked for a death certificate yet. If they do, I'm pretty much screwed.

But in all honesty, it is a hard call to make. It's one of the great social dilemmas of the world. I'm sure there are arranged marriages in the Middle East where, upon the first meeting, one of the intendeds doesn't like what's in front of them. However, unlike a restaurant, they can't send the order back. They're stuck as stuck can be.

So what DOES a person do (besides fake their own death or find ways to get deported) to get out of this situation?

If anyone knows, please tell me - or else let me know where I can get a Maryland death certificate.

Puzzled yet still darned cute...
Sudiegirl

Moanin' Monday...

Prosecutors won't probe Madonna's act (Probably because their significant others will make them sleep on the couch if they do.)








Bad career choices: naked with a dead pig (Sounds like another Saturday night for my first husband. Apologies for desecrating the memory of the dead pig. Also, what does that say about me besides I am quite fortunate to have come BEFORE the pig?)







_____

First off, R.I.P to Joe Rosenthal...he's the Pulitzer Prize-winning photographer who took the famous pic of the solders raising the flag on Iwo Jima. Go take a look at the statue when you come here. I guarantee goosebumps - whether you're for or against armed conflict, the raw energy of this photo as well as the statue will get to you.

OK - as far as the weekend, I went to the Jazz Jam again in Gaithersburg, MD. If there are any DC area folks interested in hearing good jazz on a Sunday night, I highly recommend it. Who knows...I might even be there! :0) Other than that, not much excitement at my house so let's travel in search of more fun, shall we?

First of all, I found a big WHOOPS in a Yahoo! news item. You can click here to see for yourselves, or else I can lay it out for ya, folks...

Headline of article: Walesa warns he may renounce Polish award because of Grass

Body of article: same

Picture with article: Sir Paul McCartney and his "lovely" wife, Heather Mills McCartney.

Apparently, the proofreader at Yahoo! news is asleep. I want that job.


Next, from the "Are two heads REALLY better than one?" department...

According to this article, a businessman in India has...well...how do I say this?

OK...*Sudiegirl bites bullet*

Let's just say he's got the Doublemint Twins in his pants, and he's sick of it.

To quote the article:

The 24-year-old man from the northern state of Uttar Pradesh admitted himself to a New Delhi hospital this week with an extremely rare medical condition called penile duplication or diphallus, the Times of India said.

"Two fully functional penes is unheard of even in medical literature. In the more common form of diphallus, one organ is rudimentary," the newspaper quoted a surgeon as saying.

Apparently the surgery is risky because both of the "boys" are fully functional. WOW.

Let's look at the pluses and minuses of this situation, shall we?

PLUSES:

*Women would no longer ask "Is it in yet?" Let's face it, at least one of them would be.

*They would have a place to hang their hat.

*The "boys" could be taped together to make one big one.

MINUSES:

*Twice the morning wood...therefore, the possible targets for urine spray DOUBLE.

*Double the STD chances, double the urinary tract infection chances

*How does one arrange them when getting dressed in the morning?

*Impotence could be contagious.

All I can say is thank GOD this isn't a problem for me. But best of luck to the patient...he's going to need it.


NEXT, From the "Why do we need to know what this freak is eating?" files?

OK...we all know by now that John Mark Karr (or as we call him at Rancho Sudiegirl, "That Freak With the Big Head") has been extradited from Thailand to the US for questioning, etc. I'm cool with that, if for no other reason than I wanna quit hearing about it.

However, this is a part of journalism I have yet to understand.

I'm all about "color" for a story, don't get me wrong. Description is a good thing, and can transform a blah story into one worth reading. However, DO WE REALLY NEED TO KNOW certain things? To quote the article:

Before takeoff, Karr took a glass of champagne from a flight attendant and clinked glasses with Spray, who sipped orange juice.

Karr first dined on pate, salad, fried king prawn, steamed rice, broccoli and chocolate cake. He also had a beer — crushing the empty can with his hands — and then had a glass of French chardonnay.

Karr appeared to order the drinks himself.

He later dined on roast duck with soy sauce and yellow noodles, and for his third meal had pizza, chocolates and a bottle of Evian.

Also during the flight, Karr flipped through movie channels, watched "The Last Samurai," dozed and made several trips to the restroom accompanied by two guards. Each time the door was left slightly ajar.

At one point he changed out of the red shirt and tie, replacing them with a blue polo, but then changed back into the shirt and tie before the landing.

Finally, if the information on his food, movie and clothing choices were not enough...this little gem appears...

Hours before Karr's departure, a doctor at a Bangkok clinic specializing in sex-change surgery said Karr had come in for treatment.

"He was one of my patients," Dr. Thep Vechavisit of the Pratunam Polyclinic said. He refused to provide further details.

OK...I can MAYBE understand the reason for noting the sex-change surgeon visit. Maybe he was trying to be castrated as a last resort. However, he might want to know that when word gets out at his prison facility that he's going to be a resident, there will be plenty of folks that will GLADLY castrate him for free.

But WHY, pray tell, do we need to know what he ate? Why do we need to know that he toasted the Boulder County investigator? Why do we need to know what movie he watched on the flight? WHY WHY WHY? If someone with a journalistic-type background could please explain it to this puzzled li'l redhead, I'd sure appreciate it.

Well, we haven't done this for a while...

The "BONEHEAD DECISION" Award is not necessarily coveted, but awarded to worthy folks or entities nonetheless. And remember, the "Bonehead Decision" award is sponsored by Rancho Sudiegirl, Inc., where our company motto is "Don't get between the fat girl and the buffet!"

Today's "BONEHEAD" is actually awarded to two plucky gals from Germany...

Recipients: Anica G. and Christina S!
Reason: One of 'em pushed the wrong button. (I love that excuse - it's right up there with "I didn't know the gun was loaded, and I accidentally shot him in the back nineteen times!")

To quote the article:

The emails between Anica and colleague Christina S., with descriptions on how the women try but fail to arouse their partners, were first sent by accident to other colleagues in their department at the Labor Office. They were then forwarded to thousands throughout the Labor Office and other government agencies and widely distributed by recipients to people across Germany.

To place the cherry on the wienerschnitzel, Anica said that she and Christina were writing the e-mails on breaks, and therefore, they weren't breaking any rules and was quoted as saying, "Everyone stares at us now and whispers behind our backs."

(I'd like to interject with a hearty "DUH!!!!!")

Judge's comments:

Ya know, right now I have a smirk on my face and am not sure whether to laugh my
a$ off or weep for the future.

Apparently, the concept of their e-mail traveling throughout Germany because they work for a government agency isn't quite sinking in yet. Moreover, it isn't one of those "forward this to seven people and you'll get a million dollar check from Bennigans" type of e-mails. These are e-mails about how to get the boys' "bratwursts" to fit inside the buns. It's a little bit more - if you'll pardon the expression - titillating than the average e-mail. Maybe they need to contact that guy from New Delhi.

Something tells me if they haven't lost their jobs yet, they are a nanosecond away from doing so.

It's been a while since the "Egg-Sucking Dog" award reared its ugly head. But now, we feel it's time to share the love...

The Egg-Suckin' Dog Award!!!

Today's recipient: Donna Greatorex from Naugatuck, Connecticut

Reason for award: She stole a box of mac & cheese, a chicken pot pie and a Popsicle from her neighbor's kitchen. (Total worth: $1.75) To quote the article:

At around 4:16 p.m. Greatorex, 42, allegedly entered her neighbors house through an unlocked sliding glass door and helped herself to $1.75 worth of food from the kitchen.

Interesting twist: Greatorex accused her neighbor of breaking into HER residence as well.

Charges filed: third-degree burglary, which is punishable by one to five years in prison and or up to a $5,000 fine.

She was also charged with sixth-degree criminal attempt at larceny, which is punishable by up to three months in prison and or up to a $500 fine.

Judge's comments:

OK...didn't the main plot point of Les Miserables center around Jean Valjean stealing a loaf of bread and going to jail for it? Maybe this is a low-rent, sensationalist version of it.

Either way, has Greatorex never heard of food pantries (ecumenical services providing food for the hungry)? It's not as easy or fun as going to the neighbor's house and rummaging through their cabinets, but it's a hell of a lot cheaper than paying fines and going to jail.

But by the same token, if the total amount stolen was $1.75, and someone feels they have to STEAL to get something amounting to that little, that's pretty sad. If it were me, and someone stole a chicken pot pie, mac & cheese and a Popsicle, I wouldn't even press charges. I would have preferred that they asked me, but hey...it's $1.75. That's less than a gallon of gas these days.

However, Greatorex lost my sympathy when she started pointing fingers. Not a good PR move my friend...therefore, the Egg-Suckin' Dog's going to YOU today.

Well, folks, that's all I've got to torment you with today, but you know I'll be back b/c I love you bunches and bunches.

Smooches!
Sudiegirl

Friday Frippery

Today in history:

In 1227, Mongol conqueror Genghis Khan died.

(You know...in spite of all the carnage, I really gotta hand it to ol' Genghis Khan. At least he was all-encompassing...he killed everyone. No waste. No stereotyping...just mowed 'em all down. OK...that was a little more of my true personality than I wanted to express but I was on a roll.)

_____

OK - kiddies - listen up. I have absolutely nothing interesting going on other than going to a "granny shower" (a lady in our church will be a grandma for the first time) on Saturday, and a jazz jam on Sunday (possibly). I'll post about those later in the weekend.

Today it's simply mangling of the news and other things.

First, from the "Oh Mandy, my hips really hurt, yes they're achin'..." files...

OK. I admit it. In my younger days, when most of my musical tastes were influenced by my sister's collection, there were certain singers I had to listen to.

My sister is a latent folkie...she likes Celtic music, folk music, "sensitive" balladeers.

She also liked...*shudder*...Barry Manilow.

Therefore, I liked...*shudder* Barry Manilow.

She had many of Barry's recordings...including his "Live" recording, "One Voice", and the one with "Copacabana" and "Even Now" (I don't know the name of it off hand). I swiped them every chance I could. I am ashamed.

So when I heard how old he was AND that he was having hip surgery (as opposed to replacement), the first thought hitting me was "Oh my God...he's SIXTY!"

That thought led to "Oh my God...I'm THIRTY-SEVEN!"

One more connective thought..."Oh my God...my sister's FORTY-ONE!"

However, the little imp in my psyche responsible for my sarcasm made me realize that no matter how old I get, my sister and Barry Manilow will always be older than me. It's comforting. (HEHEHEHEHEHE)


Next, from the "Marvin Gaye and Barry White's School of Love" files...

According to this article, music tastes are linked to HIV risks.

OK, I'll listen...*Sudiegirl strikes indignant pose with hands crossed over chest*

According to this study out of Toronto, Canada, male Americans who like (or, per the article, are "hooked") on gospel, techno and pop music are connected to a higher risk of contracting HIV infection than fans of other styles of music. To quote the article:

Musical tastes may offer clues to rates of HIV infection, said researchers who tried to decipher the complex behaviors and attitudes of young men in the United States, at a global AIDS conference. A behavioral analysis divided participants into two musical groups: hip hop, reggae, reggaeton, rap and rhythm and blues; and rock, heavy metal, pop, techno, electronic and gospel.
The last two paragraphs of this article really intrigued me:

They found boys who listened to hip hop music were more likely to have vaginal intercourse and had more partners, but boys from church or New York club scenes (techno, pop, electronic) took the most sexual risks. "Boys who listened to hip hop had more sex and more partners, but it did not impact condom use," said Munoz-Laboy. "Those who are part of religious culture or the club scene used condoms inconsistently."

The article also mentions the impact of half-dressed submissive roles of women in music videos, dance styles, and fashion in general as contributing factors.

The music industry disagrees (just as they disagreed with "devil worshiping" charges and the merit of William Hung).

Personally, I'm not sure what to think. First of all, is "heavy metal" really a genre of music anymore? Maybe I'm just playing "antics with semantics" here, but I'm not sure if that's just a retro thing or what.

Secondly, I can't say I disagree completely with either side of the argument.

What person out there (no matter what your preference) doesn't have a connection to a particular tune and a significant sexual moment in their lives? Doesn't matter which team you play on or how many are on the team at one time, if you use animals, tennis rackets...WHATEVER...everyone's got "that special song". However, this applies with almost EVERY genre of music.

I know when you're in a dance club, the "ambiance" is one of total release. The music pounds, the lights are flashing, the club is hot and steamy, and the overall mood is one of total surrender to the beat. So yeah, anything can happen, and the spontaneity of it is such that condoms can be the last thing you think about - right up there with calling your mom and telling her how much fun it is to do Jell-o shots. Listen to the tune "Got To Give It Up" by Marvin Gaye (the long version) and tell me you don't want to get up and shake your booty. Then I will call you a big fat LIAR.

Maybe that's where country music doesn't have the same problem...you don't touch anyone when you line dance. It's pretty robotic. That's why I hate it.

The music industry's stance seems to be (and correct me if I'm wrong) is that they just package the stuff (for lack of a better phrase). They're a "manufacturer". That's what happens when you combine a creative element with a commercial element - the music is now a PRODUCT. If you use the product irresponsibly, does the fault lie with the company or the customer? Age-old question, but applied in a different way.

I'm not sure where gospel music fits into the whole spectrum, though. If anyone does, please advise me so I can be enlightened.

What do you think about this, gentle readers? Let me know in the comments...thanks!


From the "Hey, Mel...a kid that sees dead people kicked your ass as far as blood alcohol content was concerned" files...

This is Haley Joel Osment's blood alcohol level info:

Osment's blood-alcohol level after the July 20 crash was measured at .16 percent, twice the legal limit, said Jane Robison, a spokeswoman for the Los Angeles County district attorney's office.

Mel Gibson's blood alcohol level info:
A breath test indicated Gibson's blood alcohol level was 0.12 percent, Whitmore said. In California, a driver is legally intoxicated at 0.08 percent.

It's sad to see both Haley and Mel fight the booze thing, but my GOD! Osment's blood was twice the legal limit. He should have just passed out on the lawn like any other respectable child star.

However, they both employed drama in their busts...Mr. Osment hit a mailbox and Mel cursed an entire race of people.

I love Hollywood.

_____

Finally, today's quote and its mangled counterpart:

"The self-hatred that destroys is the waste of unfulfilled promise." — Moss Hart, American playwright and director (1904-1961).

"The self-hatred that prompts one to purchase expensive cosmetics is the guiding principle of Mary Kay Cosmetics." - Sudiegirl

Have a good 'un, y'all!