For All YOU DO, This "Butt's" for YOU! Today...OJ Simpson

Today's newest International League of Buttheads member: O.J. Simpson

(I just LOVE this photo...a picture paints a thousand words, most definitely!)

Reason: Well, jeez...if I MUST elaborate, here's what the article says:

O.J. Simpson says his hypothetical account of killing his ex-wife in his aborted memoir "If I Did It" was invented by a ghost writer and filled with errors that he refused to correct for fear of appearing to be guilty of the crime.

Ah - that first paragraph right there should give "The Juice" a Golden Membership Key to the Butthead Lodge FOR LIFE. Yes...Simpson is basically accusing his ghost writer of messing up an account of a double murder that he...say it with me, people...DIDN'T COMMIT!

But yes...the infamous "If I Did It" book was written by a ghost writer (per OJ's explanation), and here's O.J's explanation of what was to be:

Simpson said the book was composed by a ghost author, and that he reluctantly agreed to include a chapter containing a "night-of-the-crime" account as told by him only after the publishers promised to clearly label it as hypothetical.

"Because I didn't do it. ... I will not justify the evidence they had. It didn't work then," he said. "We got to that chapter, and I said, 'Hey, I can't participate in that."'

Simpson said he let the author ask him questions but otherwise played a passive role in describing the killings. "I read what he wrote, and I saw all of these major holes, all of these impossible things," Simpson recalled.

He gave few specific examples of the discrepancies he found but said he declined to correct any of them.

"All of these other parts of the book I would correct, but I told myself, 'If I correct this, there are going to be people out there that say, 'Oh, look how accurate this is,' Right?"

Yeah, sure. Right.

Meanwhile, the family of Ron Goldman (the other victim along with Nicole Brown Simpson) wants the book to be published because it is, quote, "an indictment of a wife-beater, of a murderer, written in his own words."

Goldman's relatives received rights to Simpson's book and will collect OJ's $1 million advance on the book. They're also taking the train all the way to the station (so to speak) by seeking more publishing rights, as well as TV and film deals to help satisfy the $33.5 million judgment they won against Simpson back in 1997.

Double plus bonus:

According to Newsweek, they published excerpts of the infamous book and stated the following:

...seemed like a confession in part because it closely meshed with evidence in the case.

Judge's comments:

I'm giggling silently as I write this.

ONLY IN AMERICA could a man have another person write a book about how he could have murdered someone even though he didn't really do it. Furthermore, only in America would that same man be afraid to correct mis-information from the second person because it would look like he committed the crime even though he didn't do it. Just ask him...he'll tell ya.

I love this country. I love this sense of entitlement combined with stupidity. It makes me go a big ol' wet slobbery one, you know?

Did OJ take many sharp blows to the head when he played ball? Seriously! I want to know because it could explain SO MUCH about his decision making skills (or lack thereof)!

With as much scrutiny that surrounds the man a good 13 years after this event took place, any intelligent person would stay miles away from a potential money-making venture of this type. It's too much work to have to cover tracks and double-talk your way out of crap like this. Apparently, OJ didn't get the memo.

Ron Goldman's family deserves all the money they can get just because they'll forever be linked in legal history with this doofus. More power to 'em...I'll send in boxtops or whatever I need to do to further their cause.