When I saw this article (click link in title to see the article in full...) it was all I could to hold back a veritable SCREAM of delight!!!!
Yes, I said "SCREAM"!
Those who read my blog and/or know me at least a smidge know that Stevie is one of my musical idols. So this little paragraph passes before my myopic eyeballs, you see:
I am well aware of his last major tour (the "In Square Circle" tour), because I was going to go AWOL from marching band the night Stevie was in Iowa City playing the Carver Hawkeye Arena on said tour. I did not skip, however, because I was dating the band director's son and thought it would be in poor taste to go AWOL under those circumstances.
Wonder, 57, last launched a major tour in 1986, according to trade publication Pollstar, although he has performed plenty of one-off dates since then.
But now, I say this...
I will do the following to procure tickets for myself to see Stevie...
- Troll for paying sexual partners up and down the Washington Beltway until my goal is reached.
- Sing at childrens' birthday parties while they kick me in the shins.
- I will give Rosie O' Donnell singing lessons
- I'll work really hard to be nice to annoying relatives
- I'll watch the following bad (both universally bad plus "in my opinion" bad) movies: Xanadu, Battlefield Earth, Glitter (yes, even if there's a craptastic director's cut that's even worse than the version in theaters, I WILL WATCH IT) and the following Kevin Costner movies: Bull Durham, Waterworld, and The Postman
- I'll willingly watch every "Lawrence Welk Show" episode in existence, as well as "Murder She Wrote" from beginning to end.
- I'll clean the catboxes with my tongue
- I'll be nice to all people I don't like (extension of item #4)
- I'll consider thinking about voting for Hillary Clinton
So do your worst, folks...what would you like to see me do to further sully my own good name so I can see my sweet Stevie in concert? I mean it...I'm willing to do most anything for tickets.
For further inspiration, here's a groovy li'l clip from YouTube featuring Stevie and some guy named Omar that has bad hair. Get to work, you guys!