Monday, February 05, 2007

OK - here's the rest of Monday...

I got a shock this morning when D and I switched on the radio.

Our beloved 94.7 The Arrow mutated into 94.7 The Globe.'s now a globally aware radio station, and I'm not sure what to think. I'm listening to it here at work to give it a chance, but something tells me it won't be the same without my morning drive guys. Stevens and Medley.

I am so HURT...and CONFUSED. What will our morning commute be like without those boys? I am sad. Yea, verily, I weep copious tears.

We'll see how things go after I listen to this "new format". Grrrrrrrrrrrr.

Today's celebrity criminal...Ryan O'Neal.

It's really kind of tragic.

O'Neal's manager says that the 65-year old actor was merely defending himself against his son who was, quote, "wildly swinging a fireplace poker", unquote.

The official charges were assault with a deadly weapon and negligent discharge of a firearm, and he was released on a bond of $50K.

I'm not sure of O'Neal's physical condition nowadays, but I know at one time the man was pretty fit and could have easily taken on anyone. I mean ANYONE. He was hot back in the day, and is still nice looking now. However, the man's been tabloid fodder for decades. Between his bedroom antics, drug stuff, and the estrangement from his two oldest children (Tatum and Griffin), a lot of the problems in his life are self-induced.


I guess love means having to say, "Don't Shoot!"

Now, we've got an entry from the "Where Are They Now?" files. Not a moment too soon, either.

If you click HERE, you'll be magically whisked away to an entry about a man, a woman, and a cell phone.

To quickly recap, here's a summary from the news story:

Prosecutors said Marlon Brando Gill, 25, of Kansas City, forced the cell phone into Melinda Abell's mouth during an argument in December 2005. Gill denied the charge, claiming that she tried to swallow the phone to prevent him from finding out whom she had been calling.

Abell, 25, of Blue Springs, was rushed to a hospital where doctors removed the phone. Doctors said she nearly died of a blocked airway.

First of all, I'm diggin' the name...Marlon Brando Gill. Someone's mom must have been watching "A Streetcar Named Desire" before she went into labor. Oh matter...could've been worse. He could have been named Scooby Doo Gill, or George Jetson Gill.

The question I have is this: is he actually going to be able to find a date with someone that DOESN'T have a cell phone when he gets out? Probably not.


The subtitle to this story should be: "Give The Lady A Hand".

Recipient: Ahmed Rashed, 26, of Newark, NJ
Reason: A unique gift experience:

A young doctor pleaded guilty Thursday to stealing a hand from a cadaver when he was a medical student, then giving it to a stripper he had befriended.
Yep, apparently when you befriend a stripper and you live in Jersey, the tradition is to give someone a severed appendage.


Mr. Rashed pled guilty and was convicted of third-degree theft. However, he is not allowed to seek a license to practice medicine in New Jersey while on probation. The stripper, meanwhile, was indicted for receiving stolen property and agreed to enroll in a supervision program for one year.

Double Plus Bonus: Upon receipt of the hand (lovingly placed in a jar of formaldehyde), the stripper named it "Freddy".

Judge's Comments:

Whatever happened to flowers and candy? I like gross stuff as much as the next person, but come on. I could just imagine if one of my friends gave me a severed hand, and then D's mother came to visit and threw a fit about it.

Hmmm...maybe I should rethink that policy. I mean, if an apple a day keeps the doctor away, imagine what a severed hand could accomplish!

With that, I remain your loving and humble