Thursday, December 28, 2006

Window to Wednesday - fab awards, birthday wishes, and other picture postcards...

Other historical-type thingies...

1. In 1846, Iowa became the 29th state to be admitted to the Union.
(Happy Statehood Day to my beloved home state...)

2. In 1937, composer Maurice Ravel died in Paris.
(However, he left in his wake some of the best "music to have hot monkey sex" by. You go, Ravel!)


So, pals and gals, I must say this has been a very "bloggy" year for me. I learned a lot more about blogging than ever, and made some good friends. I'm fortunate to have done both. So just to be redundant, I wish all a happy 2007.

First piece of business at hand...I got some response to my "Muppets" question! (Go to this entry for further explanation.)

Jules' favorite Muppets are Grover and the heckling team of "Statler and Waldorf".

Ed H. is a Kermit fan all the way

Ms. Lifecruiser (a new visitor) had to pick Animal.How about you? Do you have a favorite Muppet/Muppets? Leave your choice in the comments.

OK, next on the agenda:
In Hollywood, two companies battle over inflatable airheads
(Haven't we heard enough about Paris Hilton and Britney Spears?)

And it wouldn't be a complete day at Rancho Sudiegirl without a few awards...first, a "Scooby-Dooby-Dubious Distinction".
Recipient: The South Korean government (specifically, the Ministry of Gender Equality)
Reason: To quote the article:

The South Korean government is handing out gifts for office workers who promise not to visit brothels this holiday season.

"If you promise yourself to make it a healthy night out at the end of the year, and if you recommend this to others, we are giving lots of prizes," the Ministry of
Gender Equality said in an Internet posting.

The ministry is offering to pay companies whose employees pledge not to buy sex after what are typically alcohol-soaked, year-end parties.
Among the prizes: movie tickets, and a cash prize of 1 million won (approx. value in US Dollars is $1,077.00) to the company with the most recruits for the program.

Many South Korean males were confused by this new project, and also vaguely insulted at the implications. Another quote:

"Do they really think men buy sex every time they have a dinner party?" wrote one Korean on a comment page of the South Korea's largest daily Chosun Ilbo.
Apparently, uh...YEAH, ya do. Really, it's a shame when you have to pay for it when so many folks give it away. Go figure. Maybe you get a punchcard or something if you pay for it.

Judge's comments:

I think the South Korean Ministry of Gender Equality needs some help from the "GIVE 'EM SOME REAL INCENTIVES" department of Rancho Sudiegirl, Inc. So, with the interest in my neighbors here on Spaceship Earth, here are some (I think) reasonable incentives for participation.

  • Commemorative t-shirts - "I committed to celibacy on the most alcohol-soaked holiday of the year and all I got was this lousy t-shirt" (I admit, the slogan is a bit wordy.)
  • Coffee mugs
  • Limousine rentals (well, technically we can't afford a limo, so you'll have to do with a '92 Hyundai Excel with no radio. Sorry. It gets GREAT mileage, though...)
  • Free tickets to a Barbra Streisand/Celine Dion double bill concert in Las Vegas (oops - there's hookers there...never mind)
  • Taco Bell coupons (always a winner)
  • Complimentary serenades from Monty and Mr. Fab (oh, and ME...since I do the singing thing.) If I were to give a complimentary serenade, I'd sing "Ethel Merman's Greatest Hits"...or is that a buzz-killer?
  • Free Passes to an Anthony Robbins seminar on how to be a winner.
  • Cell phone ring tones that play various Sousa Marches (I mean, nothing kills a mood more than hearing "Stars and Stripes Forever" right when you're about to get it on. Of course, you could turn it off but how many people really do that?)
  • For women, an all expenses paid dream date with Carrot Top, Pauly Shore, or Larry the Cable Guy (if his wife lets him go out).
  • For men, an all expenses paid dream date with Liza Minnelli or Rosie O' Donnell. If it's Liza, you'll never want to have sex with a woman again after that. If it's Rosie, you will want to have sex with ANY OTHER WOMAN after that. Either way, it's a win-win, you know?
See? It's's all marketing.

Finally (I hear the sighs of relief out there...knock it off)...the "Egg-Suckin' Dog" award for today...
Recipient: un-named 21 year old German woman
Reason: Extreme work quote the article:

BERLIN (Reuters) - A 21-year-old German woman who did not feel like going to work at a fast food restaurant sent her parents a text message saying she had been kidnapped.

Of course, this met with great fear and urgency, and the police in her Bavarian hometown did a massive search throughout the area. She "disappeared" on December 23, but returned on Christmas Eve morning, saying her kidnappers set her free.

Of course, no bad deed goes unpunished. To quote the article again:

A spokesman said the woman was questioned over the Christmas holiday and admitted she made up the story because she owed a colleague 25 euros (17 pounds) and did not have the money to pay her debt.

Double plus bonus: In addition to the avoided debt, she now faces a fine of up to 1000 euros. Although it's not mentioned, something tells me she's also out of a job.

Judges's comments:

Oh boy. Not cool. I'm not sure who this girl should be afraid of more...the authorities or her pissed off parents. I know if I'd pulled something that stupid, my cell phone would be promptly inserted where the sun don't shine. Oh well, as Jules says, she lives on the corner of "Tough Titty and Sucks To Be You".

However, here's a question (I know, I'm full of 'em today but hear me out): What is the most bizarre excuse you used to get out of a day's work? Furthermore, were you successful/unsuccessful?

And with that, I'm sayin' goodbye to you but (to your great despair, I'll bet) I'm coming back tomorrow barring any real disasters like breaking my finger or something. Oh well, I can always type with my nose.