Rancho Sudiegirl Christmas Countdown Thingie...day 1

In 1770, composer Ludwig van Beethoven was born in Bonn, Germany.
(Ah yes - the common theory among singers is that Beethoven hated sopranos, so that's why he made their vocal parts so %@*)# high.)






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Well, I survived all four Christmas parties I attended each season. For Christmas, we'll go to a movie and eat Chinese food, as usual. I'm down with that. Low-key is the key for me, you see. (I feel like Dr. Seuss now.)

No holiday gigs to speak of this year, which I have mixed feelings about. I would like the extra scratch, but if they aren't happening, they aren't happening. I was asked to fill in for someone at a gig in VA, but I'm not in the mood to drive that far on a holiday that's chock-full o' drunk drivers. We've been invited to another couple's home for New Year's...they're from our church and we really enjoy their company. They're pretty mellow, and they have a nice little girl who's a little shy but warms up gradually. We watched "An Inconvenient Truth" at their house a few weeks ago, and had a pretty good discussion of it afterwards.

Other than that, no big news from the Sudiegirl perspective - Mom's recovering from knee replacement surgery, Ruthi is busily doing the last of their Christmas shopping, and the kids are doing kid things. Life is good.

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We've got another "Egg-Suckin' Dog" (or maybe I should use another word that rhymes? Nah. It costs too much to change the title...)

Recipient: Natasha Lyonne, age 27.
Occupation: Actress
Reason: To quote the article...

NEW YORK - "American Pie" star Natasha Lyonne, arrested after threatening to sexually abuse a neighbor's dog, left court a free woman Friday after a judge promised to dismiss the charges against her.

To further explain, Ms. Lyonne was charged with criminal mischief, criminal trespass and harassment in December '04 when she entered a female neighbor's apartment, banged on the door, broke a mirror on the wall, and picked up her dog, finally threatening to sexually molest the poor puppy.

Lyonne missed court dates as well, and the judge issued a warrant for the fine lady's arrest. However, Lyonne finally showed up and the judge vacated the warrant. Meanwhile, the actress's drug counselor stated that she had completed inpatient drug counseling and was now receiving outpatient treatment.

Also, after a dry spell in Ms. Lyonne's career, her lawyer reported that she was finally working again.

Judge's comments:

You know, I do wonder if Natasha has to go through the whole community service thing. If so, is she banned from volunteering at animal shelters?

Just wonderin'.

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Today's "International Butthead" Award is a hum-dinger!
Designees:Lonnie Johnson, 26, and Angela Stanek, 21 of Winona, MN.

Reason: Criminal stupidity.

To quote the article:

On Oct. 18, Lonnie Johnson, 26, and Angela Stanek, 21, pulled into the EZ Car Wash in Winona and attempted to insert $10 into the change machine, according to Winona Police Department Deputy Chief Tom Williams.

Johnson and Stanek allegedly made a few small additions to the bill: They added holes in each end and attached a string so they could pull it back out after receiving their change, Williams said.

However, as Murphy's law often tells us, anything that CAN go wrong WILL go wrong. In their case, the ten-spot they were using got stuck after several attempts by Johnson and Stanek to yank the bill out with their string.

Stupidity reigned, though. Another quote from the article:

The couple drove away, but they made a crucial mistake: They called the car wash the next day to complain. "

They said, 'Hey, your change machine ate my $10 bill and didn't give me $10 in quarters," Williams said.

The car wash's owner instructed the couple to come back for their money. But when the owner retrieved the bill, she noticed the telltale holes and string.

However, the owner of said car wash was savvy enough to write down the license plate number on their car and the surveillance video. It showed EVERYTHING the man and woman did to try and get their ill-gotten gain.

Double plus bonus: Johnson and Stanek were charged with felony possession of burglary tools and if convicted, they face up to three years in prison and a $5K fine.

Judge's comments: I'm sorry, but as a former Iowan, this is the ULTIMATE Minnesota joke. So much for the Mississippi river flowing south because "Iowa Sucks". A ten-spot and some string cost those two $5000 and three years of their freedom.

HEHEHEHEHEH...sorry...had to be true to the Iowa/Minnesota feud.

And finally, even though I did a separate entry on these (right below this one...you'll like it, I'm sure...) I found two more Yahoo! Answers that were equally enchanting. I think you'll agree...

1. Babys 1st xmas, how can i make it magical for him?

Yahoo's answer: (partial quote...)

Little ones are stimulated through sights and sounds, so remember to put alot of twinkling lights on the tree.

Hang curly cued streaming ribbons from the ceiling. Perhaps some motion santas, or any type of lil christmas mechanic thing that moves and makes music or talks. Children's christmas music. Christmas pop up books. Christmas cartoons. etc...

Remember the most important thing is that though your child will not remember this particular day...by taking tonssssss of photos/movies not only will you have the memory and day saved, but you will have a christmas story to tell to him as he gets older and you show him his "first Christmas". Children love seeing themselves in photos and hearing the stories behind it. Have the time of your life this Christmas season and do what makes your family laugh and smile.

Sudiegirl's response: OK - so you're saying a baby is a lot like a cat? Interesting. My cats would rip off the curly-q ribbons from the ceiling, eat the flashing lights and become electrocuted in the process, attack the motion Santas or other automated Christmas thingies. I don't think that's so good because it would require a trip to the vet, and the vet's not open on Christmas.

2. How do you keep cats from climbing up the Christmas Tree??

Yahoo's answer:
Well you've got a very basic "cat problem" and almost all cats have this issue.....CURIOSITY !!!

We had a male who would do the same thing. We couldn't break him of his curiosity regarding the new, climbable, thing in the house.

After the tree fell over a couple of times I decided to simply prevent the fall-overs of the tree and just let him get it out of his system.

What I did was screw the tree stand to the floor. Most stands, whether they're the 3 legged type or the full round base will have holes in them for just that purpose. Falling Xmas trees has been a problem for a long time so the manufactures design their tree stands with that in mind.

After he climbed it a few times he simply quit doing it. Yes we had to pick up a few balls and straighten out some garland but it wasn't a big deal.

Putting a screw(s) through your carpeting will not harm anything and it will not show after you remove the screws. The flooring under your carpet is most likely sheathing (plywood) anyway, so it's no big deal to put a screw in it. (However, if you have carpeted over a hardwood floor you may want to think twice before screwing that tree stand down.)

I use the 1.25" or 1.50" sheet-rock screws for this. They are very pointed and fairly coarse threads so they pass through the carpet fibers and the backing with ease and enter the underlying sheathing quite easily. You can use most any screws, but I've found these to work very well.

You can get small boxes of them at Home Depot, Lowes, or any building supply center and hardware stores.

Hope this helps.

Sudiegirl's response: Uh - how about this one...DON'T PUT UP AN F'ING TREE?????? That's the method that works best at our house. If you don't put up the tree, the cats can't climb it. Problem solved. However, you can still go to Home Depot if you want to.

And with that, I bid you a fond Christmas-y farewell...ho ho ho-my-god, look at what THESE kitties did!

I'll be back with more X-mas fun later today!!! Or not...I dunno!