What if the hokey pokey really is what it's all about?

Anderson, Kid Rock to wed numerous times
(Damn - they must really need bath towel sets!)






Not much going on today other than BLOGGER wasn't working...that's why I'm later with this post than I wanted to be. Oh well...sucks to be me today, I guess!

Anyway, not a whole lot going on around here. There's some kind of Jim Henson film festival at the AFI Silver Theater here in Silver Spring, and of course, I didn't find out about it until it's almost over. I'm too broke to go anyway, but you can't blame a girl for dreaming, now, can you? Most girls don't dream of the Muppets, though...maybe that's what's wrong with me.

Secondly, I'm torn. Why? Because there's two things I want to watch on TV tonight - there's an "American Masters" on public TV tonight about Judy Garland, or else there's "The Amazing Screw-On Head", where the main character is...well, a screw-on head. This screw on head is voiced by (sigh) Paul Giamatti. My li'l heart goes pitter patter. But I need a good Judy fix too...what's your favorite bipolar karaeoke redhead to do? Go to bed early? Who knows?

However, I have made a few new friends in the past few weeks. You can click on the blogroll to go visit, or click on the following names: Dawn, Poopie, Miss Cellania, Karla, Karen, BP Hockey Chick, or Reel Fanatic. They've all got fun sites that are worth taking a look at.

So since my life is boring (except for my new friends), I went spelunking through the news today and here's what I found.

First exhibit: In the "Don't these people have a life?" department...the Santa convention...uh, in July...uh...OK.

Stop tape. (Or click here if you want to watch tape.)

I can be as festive as the next person. Really. I can. But I have a problem with grown men that want to dress in velvet and fur in JULY. Usually you find those kind of men in the East Village, and you'd better believe their accessories match. Anyway, if you want to watch large men careen about in red velvet suits, be my guest.




In yesterday's entry, I had a blurb about "Buddy on Demand". My friend Michelle says she wants her "Buddy on Demand" to have a mp3 player. Sounds good to me...I'd want mine to have gently vibrating hands for thorough massage action. How about you? Take a look at yesterday's entry and think about what qualities you want your DREAM INFLATABLE MAN to have. (That's pretty sad, now, isn't it?) However, she did advise that she doesn't know anyone who's finished a game of Monopoly either. Thank God I'm not alone in that regard.

In the "I thought they were talking about my high school reunion for a second" files, Australian animal rights activists are protesting for sure.

Why? Because a pub in Tasmania has two pigs that like beer.

Granted, it's watered down beer, but that's usually what most bars around here serve at Happy Hour so why should Tasmanian pigs have it any better than we do?

To quote the article: Visitors to "Pub in the Paddock" in the island-state of Tasmania are invited to pour bottles of beer down the willing throats of resident pigs Priscilla and P.B...Free said the pigs liked beer. She also watered the beer down to ensure they never got drunk.

Gee, I wish that happened here in America. I deal with drunk pigs every once in a while but they're usually wearing suits and they want to dance with me. Eewwwww....

And of course, what would a day at Rancho Sudiegirl be like if we didn't induct at least one person into our International League of Buttheads? Well, it'd be like a day without sunshine, dammit! So let that butthead light shine down on me, baby...today we have TWO (possibly three) of them. Read on...


Today's inductees for the International League of Buttheads are from sunny Brazil...yep...all of them. America and Australia need not hang their heads in shame...today. And the International League of Buttheads is sponsored by Rancho Sudiegirl, Inc., where our motto is, "When life hands you lemons, throw them at someone you hate, ESPECIALLY if they're rotten."

Inductee #1:

Who: Ricardo Dualibi, out-of-work Brazilian actor

Why inducted: He stormed a television studio (only wearing swimming trunks, I might add) fired two shots into the air, and took an employee hostage.

Explanation for his actions: he wanted to draw the studio's attention to his art.

Double plus bonus: He also killed a television camera in the process.

Fallout: Arrested for attempted murder (plus, I don't think he got the part).

Judge's comments: Truly, a dazzling display of stupidity. Has he never HEARD of community theater?

Inductees #2 and #3

Who: no names given; one arrested, police are in pursuit of the other.

Why inducted?
One was arrested under suspicion of stealing anti-impotence drugs from dozens of pharmacies in Rio De Janeiro - informally called "the Viagra gang". The authorities are trying to find his accomplice(s).

To quote the article: "One was arrested and we know the other one's identity and are looking for him," a Rio de Janeiro police spokesman said on Wednesday. The men are suspected of holding up more than 35 pharmacies in the same drugstore chain. Police said they stole anti-impotence drugs such as Viagra as well as money from registers. The chain estimated its losses at some $220,000.

Double plus bonus: they've been so successful in Viagra sales, they've pissed off the Brazilian mob.

Judge's comments: Hmmm. Yet another way to cash in on men's vanity regarding their stiffies (or lack thereof) and NOW they're on the run from both sides of the law. You know, this could be a buddy action flick starring Ben Affleck and Vince Vaughn, right?

Gentlemen, I'd salute you but I'm too comfortable to actually put forth the effort. Well done!

_____

So that's all I have today - but don't worry. I'm sure there will be more. I just have to look for it. And I'll get around to it...as long as I can do it before my shows come on...

Sudiegirl