Musings of a chick: And now, from the "She Loves You, Yeah Yeah Yeah

Sudiegirl sez: Ya know, I feel kind of bad for Paul McCartney. He really did love Linda, and I was very surprised at the news of his re-marriage. I’m sure I shared the opinion of many other people that paid attention to the news: “She’s a damned gold-digger!” He’s not even my favorite Beatle, for cryin’ out loud! (BTW, my favorite Beatle is Ringo, just so you know.) But anyway, I can’t remember if he was married before Linda or not (readers “in the know” would do a great kindness if they advised me). I just know I have snotty comments to make, and miles to go before I sleep.

Paul McCartney, Wife Blame Media for Split
(Gee, THAT excuse has NEVER been used before. How unique!)

By JENNIFER QUINN, Associated Press Writer
1 hour, 19 minutes ago

Former Beatle Paul McCartney and his second wife, Heather Mills McCartney, said Wednesday that they are separating after nearly four years of marriage, blaming intrusion from the media and insisting their split is amicable. (OK…when I hear “intrusion from the media”, I think of news camera operators at their breakfast table, or Barbara Walters calling and interrupting their “quiet grownup time”. Besides, don’t performers and models/animal activists want publicity of a sort?)

Rumors of a rift between Mills McCartney and the singer's children — especially Stella McCartney — have circulated for years. Talk centered around the idea that Mills McCartney — who is nearly half his age — wanted to devote more time to campaigning against land mines and fur. (Personally, I think there’s truth to both of those claims. I mean, I try to be open-minded but if my parent would have married someone MY age, I’d be frothing at the mouth myself. As far as the land mine/fur stuff, I would think the only way Paul would be honked off is if it interfered with parenting. Let’s face it, you can’t really pack up a kid at a moment’s notice and take him/her with you all over the world. I don’t necessary agree with Paul’s worldview, but he’s pretty family oriented. I don’t think he would be cool with li’l miss Heather wanting to bop around the world saying “Fur is bad” yet neglect her share of parental duties. Then again, maybe he’s the jerk. Who knows?)

"Having tried exceptionally hard to make our relationship work given the daily pressures surrounding us, it is with sadness that we have decided to go our separate ways," a statement from the couple said. "Our parting is amicable and both of us still care about each other very much." (Ya know, I wonder how many people would actually believe that? I think the statement should read like this: “We can’t live together without wanting to bash each others’ teeth in. We’re splitting up. We like each other OK and would probably save one another from a burning building if we were in the neighborhood and didn’t have anything else to do, but we’re done living with each other. Thank you, the management.”)

McCartney, 63, and Mills, 38, married in June 2002, four years after his former wife, Linda McCartney, died of breast cancer. McCartney and Mills had a daughter, Beatrice, in October 2003.

"Separation for any couple is difficult enough, but to have to go through this so publicly, especially with a small daughter, is immensely stressful," it added. "We hope, for the sake of our baby daughter, that we will be given some space and time to get through this difficult period." (Two words: fat chance.)

McCartney's wealth was estimated at $1.5 billion by the Sunday Times in their annual list of Britain's richest people. The couple are believed not to have a prenuptial agreement. (Well, as Jules would say, “He’s living on the corner of tough titty and sucks to be him.” I love that phrase – she is truly an inspiration! And BTW, BAD GRAMMAR! There's no agreement between subject and verb – you have a singular noun and a verb that is used for plurals. According to my grammar checker on Microsoft Word, it should be “couple is”! I feel so – annoying – right now.)

In 2002, Heather Mills told Vanity Fair that McCartney didn't force her to sign a prenuptial agreement before their huge wedding — despite tabloid reports to the contrary. (She probably did some kind of model/Jedi mind trick on him and he forgot to have her sign it. It’s as good a crackpot theory as any, don’t you think?)

Mills said she offered to sign an agreement, but that McCartney — who was worth more than $1 billion at the time — wouldn't allow it. (Oh GOD. NOT COOL. Even though you believe in peace and love, don't you also believe in avoidance of bankruptcy? DUH!)

"I wanted to prove that I love him for him," she was quoted by the magazine as saying. "He said, 'I wouldn't let you.'" (And now she loves him for - and with - all his money.) McCartney told the magazine that he knew some people would think he was being suckered by a gold digger. (And they’d be right.)

"I"m not stupid," he told Vanity Fair. "Heather's a really nice person, or else I wouldn't be attracted in the least. She's great. But you're going to find people who are going to knock her, because the better story is the negative one." (Substitute “better” with “true” and you’d be closer.)

Mills McCartney has been accused of meddling in her husband's career — such as the dismissal of his longtime publicist Geoff Baker — and even of influencing him on issues as diverse as dying his hair and plastic surgery. (That explains why he’s been looking more like Angela Lansbury these past few years.)

In a statement on her personal Web site, Mills McCartney posted a note from McCartney blasting the press and denying the rumors. (Her having a personal web site is about as ridiculous as me having a blog…wait a minute…never mind.)

"Although some of these articles can be funny, there are others that are plain malicious and you need to be strong not to be hurt by some of the cruel suggestions that flow from these peoples pens," the statement said. (Punctuation watch! She – or he - should use an apostrophe after “peoples” if he’s going after a plural possessive. My god! Didn’t these people pay attention in grammar class?)

"The media sometimes suggests a rift between my kids and Heather, but in fact we get on great and anyone who knows our family can see this for themselves," McCartney wrote. (Uh-huh. Everyone’s skippin’ around the “Strawberry Fields Forever” and life is great. LIES LIES LIES!)

Mills is a former model and a vociferous animal rights campaigner who recently traveled with McCartney to eastern Canada to fight that country's seal hunt. The couple met in 1999 through Mills' charity, the Heather Mills Health Trust. She launched the trust after losing a leg in a motorcycle accident in 1993. (Apparently that didn’t alleviate the mind control she employed for years on “The Cute One”, now, did it?)

News of the split was first reported in Wednesday's edition of the Daily Mirror.

McCartney already has three children from his marriage to Linda, who died in 1998 — musician James, photographer Mary, and fashion designer Stella. He also has a stepdaughter, Heather, from Linda McCartney's first marriage.

Sudiegirl’s final opinion?

I know (even though I’m not a staunch Beatles fan) that McCartney loved his late wife Linda very much. That’s why it really struck me as odd that he re-married.

But now I’ve figured it out.

Heather Mills McCartney

is actually Darth Vader.

Remember, you read it here first.