Writer's block - be afraid, be very afraid

Oh Lord…I have writer’s block.

I hate this.

I was going to write something about the Chinese woman who was yelling at the Chinese president to quit killing those who believe in Falun Gong. But then I realized, I don’t know enough about it to comment either way, and I didn’t want to make anyone angry (THERE’S a switch).

Then, I was going to make snarky comments throughout an article discussing how men and women’s brains are wired differently in terms of their emotions. Oddly enough, I quickly lost enthusiasm for that enterprise too.

I could only find ONE fractured headline as well…

Class-action status sought in Teflon Suit
(have you checked the pockets?)

So what’s your favorite bipolar redheaded karaeoke chanteuse to do?

*sigh*

Sorry folks…I gotta do it…the mother of all memes, cut and pasted from other memes in to one big honking one. I won’t tag anyone but maybe you’ll be inspired? Hope so.

1) If you were to star in a movie, who would you want to be cast as your love interest?
Gee...where to begin? Probably Christopher Kennedy Lawford...he'd be easier to get than Brad Pitt or my beloved George Clooney these days.

2) What genre of movie would you most like to star in?
Well, I dunno...I'm not hot enough or coordinated enough to be in a movie musical. Probably a comedy of sorts.

3) What song would you insist be on the soundtrack?
I don't know...we'd have to see how the movie comes out.

4) What would you wear to the premiere of your movie?
Something that covers my fat a$$.

5) Who would you thank in your Oscar acceptance speech?
The designer that made the dress covering my fat a$$; Doug; my family; God; I figured I'd guess at the rest.

6) What's on your feet?
Calluses, dry skin, and these Birkenstock-type slip-on shoes ("granola shoes").

7) Turn to your right -- what do you see?
My bulletin boards...they have the following pinned on: my dad's funeral program, a sympathy card from my co-workers; a certificate of completion for the IT security awareness course; a guide to restaurants in Silver Spring; a Pampered Chef mini-catalog; a couple of plastic in/out trays; an insulated coffee mug; stray business cards; post it notes; a bottle of lemon-scent hand lotion; a bottle of Evian. (Cluttered desk anyone?)

8) What is the last thing you ate?
A cup of Kirkland's Strawberry Yogurt

9) What can you smell right now?
Impending danger - and my lemon-scent hand lotion.

10) Do you wear hats?
No - I look completely idiotic in a hat, unless I'm wearing a baseball cap on a grunge day at home. Then I'm adorable.

11) Do you dye your hair, wear colored lenses, nails?
Oh yeah; I dye the hair. Have been since 1994 - there but for the grace of Clairol go I. I sincerely believe that God MEANT to make me a redhead, but he was so busy with other stuff that he forgot. I'm simply carrying out God's will. *smirk*

12) Real or fake plants?
I've killed both.

13) Real or fake gems for everyday?
You have to have gems in order to wear them, correct? All I wear is a wish pearl necklace I got in Las Vegas in 2003. If D ever gets around to getting me a diamond ring for our impending marryin' up, that's probably all I'll wear.

14) Big Foot, real or fake?
I think I dated him. So no, not fake.

15) The Loch Ness monster, real or fake?
Fake. However, the head rector at our church has a framed cartoon of Nessie wearing a kilt and playing the bagpipes. I can appreciate that.

16) Other life forms in our universe, real or fake?
Are we talking supermodels, game show hosts, or what?

17) Toothpaste: If you were asked by a toothpaste manufacturer to come up with a new flavor, what would be your top three suggestions?
Green Tea, white wine spritzer, or lemon lime.

18) Food: What's the absolute strangest food you've ever tried?
I'm really a food weenie for the most part. I did try cashew butter once; my mom got a peanut butter maker one Christmas, and she got really adventurous. It was gross. Oh, I also had durian - it's a fruit that grows on trees and smells like a mixture of dirty socks and vomit. Apparently, it's banned from some hotels in Indonesia. I can see why.


19) Gasoline: Economists are predicting that gasoline prices in the U.S. will reach $3.00 per gallon within the next three months. How will this summer's gas prices impact your travel plans?
Three words - AIN'T. GOIN'. NOWHERES.



20) When you're on a horse farm and you want to get a horse's attention, you make a clicking sound with your mouth. What sort of sound would I need to make to get your attention?
"Sudiegirl, Christopher Kennedy Lawford is coming to your house with massage oils, Chubby Hubby ice cream, and a big smile!"


21) List 3 things you keep putting off.
Housecleaning, laundry, calling D's mother.

22) What do you feel is your greatest responsibility?
I have absolutely no idea other than taking my meds and trying to work out all my demons.

23) If you could have starred in any movie, which one would you have wanted to be in and why?
Don't laugh (well, I won't be able to hear you if you do so maybe that's a stupid request), but I would have loved to play Whoopi Goldberg's part in "Jumpin' Jack Flash". That's a totally under-rated (and hilarious) movie! I could hear myself saying, "I'm a fat woman in a big silver box, dammit!"

?24) What is an expectation you had as a child about being an adult and, now that you are grown up, you realize you were wrong?
Gee, where do I begin? I guess the expectation I had was that once I was an adult, people wouldn't be such jerks. That's a big wrong one - they may not be obvious jerks, but they're still jerks.

25) When was the last time you had your car serviced?
NEXT QUESTION!

26) What is the easiest money you've ever made?
It's a toss up. I used to have these sweet babysitting jobs for one of the school psychologists - I would go with her and her daughter to conventions. While the mother was at meetings, I would hang out with the daughter. I had room and all meals paid for, plus I'd get pocket money too. However, I also played one of those Baldwin Fun Machine organs at a wedding (some woman my dad was in Reserves with was getting married), and made $20. My sister had to play piano and organ for a wedding - we're talking ALL the music; prelude, postlude, processing, recessing, etc. She didn't get paid at all. She was SOOOOOOO mad at me. It was truly a victorious moment.

27) What is the hardest thing you've ever had to do to earn money?
Babysitting my cousin Vickie's kids back in the day. They were sweet kids, but really rambunctious. One time, I used my sister's doberman to help me babysit...I sat the kids down on the couch and told the doberman to "Watch 'em!" He loved "watchin'". If a kid moved off the couch, he'd growl and act fierce but wouldn't bite. Yep...hard-earned money.

28) Other than money, what is the best inheritance anyone could ever leave you?
Good memories, and knowing I was loved.

29) Even if you didn't need to, would you still work?
Yeah; I'd get bored otherwise.

30) What is the most you've ever spent for something really dumb?
Oh...let's not go there...not a good idea for someone who is working through a shopping problem.

Hope I've entertained the masses...
Sudiegirl