Monday's Mauled Headlines, and Sudiegirl Comes Clean

Coy Candidates May Be Called Up by the Draft
(Meanwhile, Bubba, Cooter, and Jimbo candidates are waiting patiently for the local Hooters to open. To quote Cooter, “They got a lunchtime hot wings special.”)









Air Force One Subject of Internet Hoax
(So if I send Air Force One to a dozen friends, I'll have good luck for a year??? Sign me up!)








Democrats Say Lieberman Too Close To Bush
(So apparently, asking him to step back is out of the question?)








Scientists Probe the Use of the Tongue
(Oh...I could say so many things about this, but I want to keep the FCC off my back...)

















Is God an environmentalist?
(Have you tried asking Him-or Her?)







OK…I’m not sure why this is, but I am not inspired to write on weekends anymore. I’m not sure what’s up with that.

I mean, it’s not like I’m doing anything exciting…I sleep, watch Boomerang, sleep some more, find a trashy cable movie to rot my brain, etc. I LOVE weekends like that.

I could go venture out into DC, I suppose. There’s so much free stuff to do. I live near the Nation’s Capitol, for God’s sake. What is stopping me from visiting the monuments on my own, or the zoo, or Arlington Cemetery?

Slothfulness, pure and simple.

Just the fact that I COULD do that stuff is enough for me. I’m not one that has to climb the mountain just because it’s there. I am just as content to look at it and go, “See? I live near a mountain! Do YOU live near a mountain? No? Well, then I guess I’m cooler than you are today…at least, until there’s an avalanche. Then I’m flatter than you.”
I had some good responses to the cut and paste meme I did last week; I’m not sure what I’ll do for an encore. I’ll think of something. In the meantime, go check out Jules’ blog…she’s in the process of doing a really cool thing. It has to do with finding one word to describe each person on her blogroll. I am not sure what she’ll use to describe me…I’m not sure I wanna know either. Jules, if you’re reading…please be kind to your favorite East Coast neurotic.

Another surprising thing I’m discovering about myself (and Petey Baby – author of Holtie’s House – will be saying “I told you so” for days) is this: I have been downloading old country songs. Not the new crap by Garth “Sellout” Brooks and company; the OLD stuff. We’re talking Jerry Reed, some Johnny Cash, stuff like that. I never said that I hated all country music. I grew up hearing some good stuff. What I hate are the artists that are “posing”, like drugstore cowboys. Give me the real deal.

Now, I do have discriminating tastes as far as the old country singers are concerned. For example, I can’t stand Red Sovine or Ernest Tubb.

I know that Ernest Tubb was around for a good long time, and worked with a lot of other country artists. In my sacred Patsy Cline biography, I have a picture of him and his Texas Troubadours backing up dear Patsy. But that doesn’t mean I have to like him. I always thought he had horrible stage presence, and I hated his voice. I also hated his stupid song about the great speckled bird. That song gave me nightmares, thinking about somebody riding a spotted bird all over the place. Ugh.

And Red Sovine? He didn’t sing. He talked. His talking wasn’t even good enough to say he was a country predecessor to “rap”. Plus, EVERY SONG OF HIS WAS DEPRESSING!!! In his world, children were dying all the time, and truckers were talking to them on their CB radios. I remember seeing the commercials for his albums when I was a kid, and I thought to myself, “Why doesn’t he just spare us from his music and sell Amway instead?”

Nope…give me some of the other good ol’ country artists. Buck Owens, Roy Clark, Patsy Cline, Dolly Parton, Merle Haggard, Willie Nelson, Faron Young, Waylon Jennings…I could go on and on. Heck, even Jimmy Dean (I liked his sausage and his music).

Fun fact for the day, BTW…Patsy Cline is a “homegirl” in the DC area. She was born in Winchester, VA; her first husband (who gave her the “Cline” surname) was from Frederick, MD; and she got her start on the Washington DC country music scene. In fact, two of her sidemen were – drumroll, please – Jimmy Dean and Roy Clark.

So I guess I’m becoming more accepting in my old age. Don’t tell anyone though…I’ve got a reputation to uphold.

Twangily yours,
Sudiegirl

PS: Sudiegirl does sound like some kind of southern nickname, doesn’t it? Weird…