Monday fractured headlines and my Saturday fun time

Bigs Bunny: monster rabbit devours English veggie plots
(so does that mean "Curse of the Were-Rabbit" should have been categorized as a full-length documentary for the Oscars?)

Wal-Mart Banking Plan Draws Objectors
(Are they stick figures, or more like comic book characters?)

Sooty Mangabeys at Heart of Research Fight
(Let's just hope they're low in cholesterol and trans fats!)

Senator Says Immigration Deal Isn't Dead
(Nope...it's just restin'...it's pinin' for the fjords...)

Ah, folks…I’m sorry I didn’t write anything over the weekend. If you wanna know the reason why, it’s very simple.

I’m a lazy-ass.

Of course, I justify it by saying, “Well, you know, I have a gig tonight and I need to rest up for it or I won’t be at my peak performance level.”

Which is bull***t.

I’ve told y’all before that I like naps, and Saturday was no exception. So I did my Saturday nap thing, and then I had the gig.

I wanna tell you one thing – senior citizens (when inspired to do so) can kick us younger people in the butt when it comes to having a good time.

I kid you not. This Lions Club “Senior Prom” is one of my favorite ones to do because everyone is there to have fun. They don’t give long, drawn out speeches about things I don’t give a tinker’s damn about. They are there to eat, drink, win door prizes and dance.

This year, it seemed like we had the most fun I’ve ever had at this gig. Oh, there have been memorable moments, to be sure.

One year (I think it was ’04), one of the Lions’ girlfriends had a bit too much to drink and was trying to “dirty dance” with a 90-year old man. It was not a pretty sight…she was really skinny, over-processed hair…I think her boyfriend was a tad embarrassed as well. I haven’t seen her since, but she sure did provide a lot of laughs for the band (and really, isn’t that the most important thing?)

The door prize questions can get kind of interesting too…at least on one occasion, I remembered that they asked the question, “Who here has been widowed the longest?” That was more funny peculiar than funny ha-ha, but hey…at least one person won a bottle of wine or a box of chocolates to wash their angst and sadness away.

But this year…the band had FUN.

Every year, one of the high points of the evening is “Stump the Band”. If you are old enough to remember when Johnny Carson had “The Tonight Show”, you’ll remember this was an occasional feature on the show. Really, I think it’s one of the high points of the evening because the seniors can pull obscure songs out of their hats and get us good. Considering we have a lot of people in the band that know a variety of tunes, I never quite get how the beat us, but they do.

We knew a few, though…I kind of knew “Besame Mucho”, but one of the band members knew it better than I did.

I knew “Does Your Chewing Gum Lose Its Flavor On The Bedpost Overnight” and even led the crowd in a sing-a-long.

We had more fun with the tunes we didn't know. For example, someone called out the title “Bobby Shafter”. What do the guitarist and the drummer start playing? The “Theme From Shaft”. What’s even funnier? The audience got our joke.

Of course, when all else fails, I just make up lyrics as I go along. And also, my wisecracks generally crack up the band (at least, the rhythm section laughs…).

I guess that’s why a career in opera or “serious music” is not for me…it’s rather gauche to just stop the grand aria in the middle and say, “Two nuns walk into a bar…”.

Just give me a microphone and some general guidelines and I’m good.

I’ll be back later (but of course, you already knew that)!

Sudiegirl