And now, from "The Nelson Muntz Guide to Life" files and Yahoo! News...

Sudiegirl sez: Oh no…it’s “Purple Nurple Gate”! I think that phrase, “It’s fun until somebody puts an eye out” should be amended to “It’s fun until someone gets their nipple twisted.” I know that’s ended a lot of fun nights for me…read on, and I’ll do what I do.

PS: The trading cards depicted here are courtesy of donthaveacowman.com. Please go check him out - these cards are FUN!!!

Nipple Pincher Gets Juvenile Detention
Thu Mar 2, 10:18 PM ET

A teen who pinched and twisted another boy's nipple while standing in line at a deli has been sentenced to four days in juvenile detention because he refused to write a letter that explained his actions. (OK…I’m not a teenage boy, but I have dealt with them. Aren’t teenage boys – hell, men in general - accustomed to greeting each other with noogies, light punches to the midsection, and other light-duty violence? What’s the big deal? I didn’t say I liked it, or even UNDERSTOOD it, but it’s just what guys DO. Women ask each other if their butt looks big in a pair of jeans, and guys give each other “Indian Rope Burns”. And the wheel of life keeps turning.)

David Thumler, 16, was convicted of offensive physical touching in July 2005, after the victim's parents complained to police. The Crater High School student paid a $67 fine and served three days of community service. (Note: the victim’s PARENTS complained to the police. HUH? Are they not used to the boy bonding behavior whereof I spoke in the previous paragraph? Granted, doing the purple nurple thing at the deli was rather tasteless, but come on! Why get the police involved? Put a little ice on it, tell the other kid’s parents what happened, and that’s that.)

"I emptied trash cans, mowed lawns and shoveled gravel," Thumler said. (Cool…does he want to do my dishes and my laundry?)

But Thumler's refusal to comply with the final piece of his sentence will cost him four days in detention. He was required to write the letter during four classes put on by Mediation Works, which operates the victim-offender program for Jackson County Community Justice. (I’m with ya so far…)
Mary Miller, executive director of Mediation Works, said the purpose of the letter is to prepare teens to be accountable for their offenses. (That is important in many cases, since many juvenile crimes seem to be less malicious and more careless. I’m not saying all, I’m saying MANY. There are many “bad seeds” out there that are totally sociopathic.)

"They don't have to apologize," she said. "But they are required to be accountable." (What’s the difference, ask I?)

The offender is required to describe the act in detail, explain "thinking errors," "express empathy" and describe any resultant life changes. (I agree with that too…)

Miller said the program is "often a very, very healing experience between the victim and youth offender." (But what if they’re a repeat offender? Do they just Xerox a form letter and write in the blanks? “Dear _____: I’m real sorry I robbed your house, killed your dog and embezzled money from your checking account. I was drunk and high at the time and your wife just dumped me. Sincerely, Fred.”)

Thumler said he presented a rough draft of his letter in the third session. He said he balked when told he must also describe his "criminal thought processes." (HUH? You had me and then you lost me.)

He said that would imply malicious or criminal intent, and "none of that applied to my feelings or actions." (Well, this tells me two things. One, he’s smart. He’ll be a hell of a lawyer someday as long as he can stop roaming about the country side giving purple nurples. Two: he knows his own mind better than some mediator. He’s simply a teenage boy, and they’re still working out being civilized in public. If a male friend says something to tease him, more than likely a purple nurple, noogie, wedgie or other teenage boy method of slight physical discomfort will be inflicted. There’s no malice or anger per se…it’s just horseplay gone awry. I really don’t get why the police were involved in this…and of course, news articles like this don’t always give a fair and balanced argument or tell both sides of the story. No…that would require effort.)

Thumler said he had no criminal intent because he considered the victim to be a friend at the time of the incident — which he deemed horseplay. Including the language sought by Mediation Works, he said, would turn his prior court statements into lies. (The kid’s got a sense of integrity too…huh. Who’d have thunk it?)

"It was a matter of conscience," Thumler said. "I figure the worst is already over." (He’s probably right.)

Ken Chapman, a Community Justice juvenile probation supervisor, verified Thumler's sentence.
"The judge found a willful violation of the court order," Chapman said. (Well, did you ever stop to wonder why this case came across your books in the first place? Could it be possible that Sudiegirl is actually RIGHT in this case and the parents should have handled it themselves?)
___
Information from: Mail Tribune, http://www.mailtribune.com/
Sudiegirl’s final opinion?

To the tune of Willie Nelson’s “Mamas, Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Cowboys”:

Mamas, don’t let your sons go and give purple nurples.
There’s some kinds of horseplay that aren’t too rough,
Like Indian Rope Burns and Noogies and such…

(Oh, and stock up on ice…nipples are tender, ya know.)