Musings of a chick: And now, from the "Let he who has a free hand cast the first stone!" department, and Yahoo! News...

Sudiegirl sez: I really wanna know why potential lawyers and judges are not given psychological tests to find out if they’re fit to sit on the bench. I mean, I have seen three-year olds with greater restraint than this man. Read on, and I’ll do what I do.

Retired judge headed for trial on accusations that he masturbated in court
By Emanuella Grinberg, Court TV
Tue Jan 3, 6:06 PM ET

(Court TV) — For the second time in less than a year, a retired Oklahoma judge was ordered to stand trial on allegations that he exposed himself on the bench during trials. (Well, although it’s better than what Ted Bundy wound up doing, it’s still bad.)

A court reporter for former Creek County District Judge Donald Thompson testified in a brief preliminary hearing Tuesday that she witnessed her former boss masturbating with a device known as a penis pump while he presided over several trials from 2001 to 2003. (Was this device scientifically proven to help the guy think better? Help me out here!)

Thompson, 59, is scheduled to be arraigned Jan. 26 on four counts of indecent exposure and one count of misuse of a state computer for allegedly keeping explicit photos of himself on his office computer. (So he’s also narcissistic. What a combination. I’m sure his mother must be proud.)

The disgraced jurist faces up to 41 years in prison on the five counts. (Yeah, but what would really punish him is putting him in a cell with no mirrors and all the guards are instructed to not tell him what he looks like. There ya go!)

Court reporter Lisa Foster, the only witness in the hearing, also testified that she saw Thompson shave his pubic area during closing arguments in a high-profile murder case, but did not report him to police for fear of professional repercussions. (I would have replaced his razor with a dull, rusty one…but that’s me. This guy is just becoming more reprehensible by the nano-second. Ick.)

"I didn't want to lose my job," Foster said, according to the Associated Press. "I didn't want to do something that would hurt him and his family." (Ah, the proverbial rock and hard place rears its ugly head again. I have to say, I wouldn’t know what to do in that situation either. I guess I would have tried to have a new job in my back pocket, then tell the authorities. That might not be as easy as it sounds, though, huh?)

In January 2005, Oklahoma prosecutors charged Thompson with three counts of indecent exposure stemming from similar claims from Thompson's clerk, a trial witness and several jurors. (Uh-huh. That would make jury duty more interesting…I would be the one keeping track of how many times the ol’ judge would whip it out, and running a betting pool to boot. Gotta be enterprising in this day and age because you don’t make much when you’re on jury duty.)

Panelists from two criminal trials and one civil trial told police they heard whooshing noises from the bench, which they likened to the sound of "a hemorrhoid donut" or a blood-pressure cuff. (I guess they just ignored the looks of ecstacy on his face or the soft moans coming through the sound system because he forgot to turn off his mike.)

In November, after a series of delays due to conflicts of interests within the case, a team of special prosecutors filed a new count of indecent exposure and one count of misuse of a state computer against Thompson. (Ah, what a tangled web we weave…and how dumb is this guy, doing stuff like this at work!? Was he at the bottom of his class in law school? Was he even allowed to put mailing labels on the law school journal? Has his wife changed her name and moved to another town yet? Something tells me he’s already replaced her with a handy-dandy gadget.)

The fifth count refers to allegations that the judge kept photographs of himself and a female engaging in "lewd and lascivious acts" on a computer in his chambers. (Ah yes…definitely a man I want to have decide my life or death. I mean, it scares me that he was deciding life-or-death cases and punitive damages while strokin’ the sausage. NOT COOL. )

The second amended complaint also expanded the dates of the alleged incidents. (How much more could you do that? Unless you’re adding MORE dates to what are already present…)

Thompson resigned from his 20-year post in August 2004 following an investigation into his alleged misconduct, a move which has allowed him to continue collecting on his pension. (Well, he’s gotta pay for his “supplies” somehow!)

If he is convicted of the felony counts, his reported $88,000 pension will be revoked. Judge James Bland will set a trial date at Thompson's arraignment. (Wonder what he’ll do next? He might prove popular in prison, ya know…)

The Associated Press contributed to this report.