More mangled headlines...

(Picture of Underdog and his lady fair from www.entertainmentrights.com)

The news just keeps getting better...


San Francisco Suspends Officer Over Video
(I hope the rope stayed strong!)

Stocks fall on rate worries
(Ouch!)


To seize back the agenda, Bush grabs the bullhorn
(Boy, that bull is gonna be pissed!)

Rocket Set Loose; Hoffman Stays in Calif.
(Well, that makes sense...if Dustin's gotta work on a film, he might as well stay in California!)

Source: Yankees Ship Tony Womack to Reds
(Was that Priority Mail or FedEx?)

Reds send Sean Casey to Pirates
(Will they make him walk the plank? Will he contract rickets? Does he receive a complimentary parrot?)

Mesa Agrees to One-Year with Rockies
(It's so nice when geologic items can cooperate with one another, isn't it?)

Rockies Get Torrealba from Mariners
(Just goes to show you can't trust sailors.)

Are you a sitting duck for bird flu?
(No, I'm an Aquarius.)

Chickens shouldn't be scalded alive to make McNuggets, rights group says
(McNuggets are made out of CHICKEN?)