And now, from the "Does the warranty cover this?" files and Yahoo! News...

Sudiegirl sez: I think I'm going to start the selection process early for this year's "Golden Toiletbrush Hall Of Fame" designations...for those of you unfamiliar with the process, that's what the archives are for. This truly takes the cake, and causes me to pose this question: What effect does Pepto Bismol have on fiberoptics and wireless service? Can you hear me now? Good...

Woman Swallows Cell Phone After Argument
Sat Dec 24, 4:24 AM ET

BLUE SPRINGS, Mo. - A lovers' dispute over a cell phone ended suddenly when the woman swallowed the phone whole, police said. (They were probably wondering what else she could swallow whole, if you get my drift...Linda Lovelace, look out!)

Police said they received a call at 4:52 a.m. Friday from a Blue Springs man who said his girlfriend was having trouble breathing. When they arrived at the house they found the 24-year-old woman had a cell phone lodged in her throat. (Well, that'd do it. Unless it was one of those Motorola Black Razr phones...)

"He wanted the phone and she wouldn't give it to him, so she attempted to swallow it," Detective Sgt. Steve Decker of the Blue Springs Police Department. "She just put the entire phone in her mouth so he couldn't get it." (She's truly a shining example of femininity, and also someone you don't want to get in the way of at all you can eat Rib night at Famous Dave's.)

Police said an ambulance transported the woman to St. Mary's Medical Center in Blue Springs. A hospital spokeswoman said she couldn't give details about the woman's health since police have not released her identity. (They're also scared of being eaten alive.)

Sudiegirl's final opinion?

Why does this sound like someone my first husband would like?