From the, "Beats the hell out of the Masters!" files and Yahoo! News...

Sudiegirl sez: The photograph on the left is of the "mother of all strippers" (in a figurative sense, of course), Gypsy Rose Lee. I think she would approve of this innovative method of golfing. As for myself, the only kind of golf I play involves windmills, constant use of putters, and cute cartoon animal statues. At any rate...you all know the drill...so fasten your pasties, it's gonna be a bumpy ride!

Golf Outing Allegedly Involves Strippers
Wed Aug 3, 9:36 PM ET

NAPERVILLE, Ill. - Police on Wednesday were investigating a golf outing sponsored by a gentleman's club in this Chicago suburb that allegedly featured women strippers in bikinis giving male golfers lap dances. (So much for the saying, "Golf is a lovely walk spoiled by a little white ball." I'd say two lovely balls enjoyed it!)

Residents who live along the Country Lakes Golf Club's course said they were surprised to see scantily clad women dancing and performing on the course. One resident called police to complain and videotaped some of the event from her back window. (Well, is she going to send the tape to "Hustler" or The Playboy Channel? Somehow, I don't know if the Golf Channel would take it...you know, it was taped by an amateur!)

"It's not something you'd expect in a family-oriented town like Naperville," said Geoff Pacana, who lives near the 16th hole. "It's certainly not something you'd want any of the kids who live around here to see." (Yeah, well...just let 'em watch the half-naked dancers on MTV to give 'em a taste, then give them complimentary copies of "Confessions of a Video Vixen.")

Monday's golf outing was sponsored by Blackjack's Gentleman's Club located near South Elgin. (Where their motto is, "You'll ALWAYS get a hole in one!")

Naperville Police Chief David Dial said the investigation was focusing on "whether there was a criminal act or whether there was a liquor license violation." (Well, since we know nobody ever drinks while playing golf - wink wink, nudge nudge - that kind of narrows things down a bit, doesn't it?)

He said anyone who participated in the event was subject to the investigation. (Is that followed by a complimentary massage?)

Messages left Wednesday at Country Lakes Golf Club and Blackjack's Gentleman's Club were not immediately returned. (You know, I see this in so many stories, and why am I NEVER surprised?)

Naperville Police Sgt. Joel Truemper said Wednesday the department was in the process of requesting a subpoena from a grand jury to review video tape from WLS-TV in Chicago. (Is it from the lady who filmed it from her back window? Just wonderin'...)

Janet Hundley, WLS-TV's assistant news director, said the station has a policy of not handing over video tapes to authorities without a subpoena. (OK...duly noted.)

As of Wednesday evening, the station had not received a subpoena, she said. (However, they had received 17 requests for the phone number of the blonde in the blue bikini.)

Sudiegirl's final opinion?

I think I'm in the wrong line of work. Maybe I should get gastric bypass surgery and then either work for this gentlemen's club or pretend to be a princess. Either way...

FORE!!!