And now, from the "What are you starin' at, ya hockey puck?" files, and Yahoo! News...

Sudiegirl sez:

I included this photo of that all-time great insult comic Don Rickles (and his counterpart, Mr. Potato Head) to prove a point...the point being that insults have their place. It's one thing to have insults be your stock and trade, but not mean it once you get off the stage, and another to be in an industry where you need to PLEASE your customer and SERVE them (hence the title "customer service") and refrain (no matter how painful it is) from changing the name on the invoice to something totally derogatory. I think Mr. Rickles would definitely place them in the "hockey puck" category, as they should be. So now, on with what I do best!


Woman Gets Cable Bill With Derogatory Name
Wed Aug 17, 8:30 PM ET

CHICAGO - LaChania Govan said she got bounced around by her cable company when she called to complain. She made dozens of calls and was even transferred to a person who spoke Spanish — a language she doesn't understand. (Oh, boy...sounds like some of the messes we had to clean up in the Iowa GEICO office.)

But when she got her August bill from Comcast she had no trouble understanding she'd made somebody mad. It was addressed to "Bitch Dog." (Gee...not only is it repugnant, it's redundant. Dealin' with a real brain trust here, huh?)

"I was like you got to be freaking kidding me," said Govan, 25. "I was so mad I couldn't even cuss." (Now THAT's MAD!! I have been there...as a matter of fact, I was there two days ago!)

Govan said the only thing she did to Comcast employees that might be considered rude came after a few dozen calls when she felt she was treated shabbily. "I did tell them, 'You know what, it has to be a qualification to work for your company that you have to be rude,'" she said. (I don't think that's necessarily rude...just a statement of fact.)

Govan said she talked to a supervisor and he offered her two months free service, which she turned down. (She should have asked for a year of free digital, all the premium channels , plus one free year of internet service and a monthly boot-licking. Then...allow all her neighbors to pirate in off of her cable feed. That'll show 'em!)

Finally Wednesday, about two weeks after she got her bill, somebody from the company left a message on her answering machine in which the caller apologized. (Yeah, but who? Did they ask if her refrigerator was running and if she caught it?)

Comcast officials said it shouldn't have happened. (To paraphrase one of my favorite movie quotes, "But it DID, Blanche! It DID happen!")

"We only use the actual customers names on the bill," said Patricia Andrews-Keenan, a Comcast spokeswoman. (If that's the case, I feel really sorry for someone named Alastair Dyck. If he just uses his first initial and last name...well, you know where I'm goin'...)

Company officials went through the records and identified two people who were involved with the name change and fired them, Andrews-Keenan said. It's unknown why the employees did it. (At this point, does it matter? They did it, you caught 'em, they're gone, now hire ME!)

In another case, Peoples Energy customer Jefferoy Barnes started getting letters addressed to "Jeffery Scrotum Bag Barnes." (Again, redundancy and repugnancy. If he's named Jeffery, he more than likely has that particular body part so why name it twice? And why name it anyway? Some things should just be a given and not placed on the mailing just to give the mail carrier a heart attack when they're sorting the deliveries.)

"I had no bad words at all. I guess the earliest letter is dated in May and from then on up until now my name has been listed as Jeffery Scrotum Bag Barnes and I have no idea why." (Apparently, they're hiring the 4th grade class bullies from every elementary school across the country in order to raise awareness of the need for immature behavior in the workplace.)

Barnes said he received an apologetic call from a company official. He also has contacted an attorney to determine if he can take legal action. (Wow...maybe he could score big too...anything is possible in America!)

A Peoples Energy spokeswoman called the letter inexcusable. (Well, that's the first logical thing heard all day! The question is, what are ya gonna do about it!?)

Sudiegirl's final opinion?

Ya know, I talked to Triumph the Comic Insult Dog, and here's what he had to say:

"Sudiegirl, why the hell haven't you called me back? Didn't that afternoon in Central Park when you scratched my ears and called me Cutie Pie mean anything to ya? Come on, let me hump your leg..."





Whoops...I guess he's not the one to ask. Just forget that above statement, and when you call customer service, better be careful they've got the billing name correct.

And another thing...would the lady have had this same trouble if she had the Dish? Just wonderin'.

Coaxially yours,
Sudiegirl