And now, another "Thing that makes you go D'oh!"

Sudiegirl sez: Many gazillion thanks go out to Associated Press and the many writers that find these stories so I can go out and make snotty comments about them. Cheers! And now, let's go to press...snottiness awaits!

3 Wives Greet British Man After Surgery
By CASSANDRA VINOGRAD, Associated Press Writer

Thu Aug 11, 9:52 AM ET
LONDON - Some people bring flowers, others bring balloons. When Melvyn Reed's three wives showed up to visit him at the hospital, they brought an unexpected curtain call to his years as a double bigamist. (Well, can you say, "Oh, S**T?" I think old Melvyn not only said it, but did it. Thank goodness he was in the hospital where they're used to that kind of thing!)

British police confirmed that after Melvyn Reed woke from his triple bypass heart operation earlier this year, his complicated marital affairs took a turn for a worse. All three of his spouses had turned up at the same time, despite his efforts to stagger their visits. (Oh boy...and hell hath no fury like three women scorned.)

Media reports say that, upon realizing that something was amiss (but what, we'll never know...man, I wish I was a fly on the windshield to hear that discussion!) the wives held a meeting in the parking lot, and learned that they were all married to the same man. (OK...I know I've found out about many things regarding an ex, but I'd have to say this is not one of them. It really is sad, but that kind of stuff only seems to happen in sitcoms until now...)

The 59-year-old company director from Kettering in central England turned himself into police on May 12 saying he was married to three women at the same time, and confessed to bigamy, an illegal offense in Britain, London's Metropolitan Police said in a statement. (I think they edited the "I'm very, very, very, very sorry" out of the statement.)

A spokeswoman for the Crown Prosecution Service confirmed that Reed had turned himself in to police in Wimbledon, south London in the presence of his lawyer, and admitted he was a bigamist. (You know, it's amazing he finally dropped the facade...you would think he'd be in denial and just try to keep scamming. More power to him! Then again, getting caught by all three wives whilst flat on your back is not exactly the ideal way to confront the situation. Also, I wonder if there are any more wives stashed away somewhere that we don't know about?)

He pleaded guilty to two charges of bigamy on July 19 at the Wimbledon Magistrates' court, and was given a suspended sentence of four months in prison and ordered to pay 70 pounds (US$126; euro102) in costs, police said. (You know, maybe he should have to serve some house arrest with Martha Stewart. That'd cure him of marriage and probably women altogether, I'd think!)

It wasn't immediately possible to reach Reed or his three wives. A phone call to one of the women went unanswered. Reed's lawyer Laurence Grant was not immediately available at his office for comment. (I'm sorry...the only comments media would get out of me if I were one of the wives would begin with "That" and end with the name for a female canine. I imagine they're probably going through more than I would ever care to go through myself.)

The Metropolitan Police said Reed married his first wife, Jean Grafton, in 1966, then left her without divorcing her. He went on to marry Denise Harrington in 1998, then married Lyndsey Hutchinson in 2003. (There's a song my dad liked to listen to on a Mills Brothers tape called "Between Winston-Salem and Nashville, Tennessee", about a man who was married to two women. The final chorus was cute because it sang, "Sue found out about Mary, and Mary found out about Sue, so Betty it'll be about three years before I can marry you." Interesting stuff!)

British media have widely reported that Reed recently moved back in with his first wife, Grafton. They say she is the mother of his three grown children. (That's another factor that's interesting...I don't think he'll be getting any Father's Day cards for a while. He's lucky he didn't get a right to the jaw!)

The Metropolitan Police said Harrington and Hutchinson had sought advice on getting their marriages annulled. But media reports say lawyers have advised the women that their marriages were never valid. (What I want to know is how he got through them in the first place? I mean, were they civil ceremonies, church ceremonies...in short, did they require a marriage license of some sort, and aren't there requirements for that sort of thing as showing proof of previous divorce if you have been married before? In short, HOW THE HELL DID HE DO IT? Inquiring minds want to know...)

Sudiegirl's final opinion?

"Betty, it'll be about three years before I can marry you..."