Of course, I don't wanna leave out the gents...

OH, darlings...how could Sudiegirl be so insensitive to the menfolk that read this column (all 4 of you)? I realize that men need to look for some new blood as much as anyone, so here now, are the female counterparts to the previous entry. I know you men out there will just be so happy with what is waiting for you that you're already burning your little black books. Here we go!

Cruella DeVil or Martha Stewart? You make the call...

Bachelorette #1 is an independently wealthy merchant specializing in women's fashion. As you can see, she is quite the trendsetter. She's one of the last holdouts as far as smoking is concerned, but she's got a lot more admirable qualities. Right now, we're not exactly sure what they are, but when we find out we'll let you know.

Well, now...isn't THAT special?

Bachelorette #2 could best be described as a "Bible thumper", and if you're lucky, you might be the thumpee! Hobbies include making Jello salads for church potlucks, gossiping in the name of the lord, and wearing comfortable shoes. Darn!

Better hide your stallions, ladies...Minnie's in town!

Bachelorette #4 is very down-to-earth, not to mention spry. She is her hometown's reigning champion of the Sadie Hawkins chase for 5 years running, and she may have her sights set on you! Other hobbies include shopping and collecting antique price tags. When you meet her, be prepared for a loud and hearty "How-DEE"!

(P.S. Actually, Minnie Pearl is one of my favorite country comedians, and I apologize if I have offended anyone with her "personal ad". She might have gotten a chuckle out of it, but if you didn't, I apologize.)

"OOH, he's chasing me!"

Bachelorette #5, our final entry for today, is looking for that Mr. Right, object=matrimony. Cound it be you? Prissy seems to have a fondness for big blowhards with Southern accents and numbered feathers in case of emergency. However, it's unclear as to whether she has children or not...I guess it depends on which cartoon you watch first. At any rate, give her a shot...what's the harm?

Well, on that note, my little mango frappes, I will say adieu. Hope you find that special someone to share the weekend with! I know I'll be keeping my fingers crossed.

Your little Dolly Levi,

Sudiegirl