Now, from the, "Oh, Sure! They're real..." files and Yahoo! News

(Sudiegirl's disclaimer...I'm using Dolly's picture to make a point...according to an exclusive, insider Sudiegirl source, Dolly's beauties are real. Real is always better, because they disintegrate with the rest of you when you die. The rest of my snotty comments are inserted hither and yon. Read on, oh happy little larks...)

Must be bad news for local beauty pageants...

27 minutes ago
RIO DE JANEIRO, Brazil (Reuters) - Armed bandits in Brazil robbed a vehicle carrying more than 400 breast implants, officials said on Tuesday.
(What did they call the vehicle...the "Boobmobile"?)

"It happened last week, but we only learned about it recently as our clients started complaining. It is the hottest period of the year in terms of implant sales," said Margaret Figueiredo, director of silicone implant manufacturer Silimed.
(Ya know, it's pretty early in the morning for me, and I could have sworn at first look that the name of the manufacturer was Slimed. They need to put a hyphen in there or some unique capitalization to make that more clear, in my opinion.)

A spokesman for the state Postal Service confirmed that assailants, apparently men, robbed the postal van with implants on Thursday night in Rio de Janeiro. Each Silimed breast implant costs nearly $400.
(So they had 400 breast implants at $400 each...that'd be $160,000 worth of confidence right there!)

The popularity of Brazil's plastic surgery pioneer and trendsetter Ivo Pitanguy, whose clients include celebrities like Sophia Loren, has made the tropical country one of the leading international nip and tuck venues.
(You mean Sophia gets nipped and tucked? NO! Say it isn't so...she surely doesn't need it, does she? I thought she was aging gracefully, but now I know she's receiving assistance. Another dream shattered...)

Figueiredo explained demand is the highest in July, during the southern hemisphere winter, as women schedule surgery during the winter school holidays, which precede the beach season.
(Well, women are famous for planning ahead, I guess. Staying "abreast" of the situation usually works wonders. Come on, you knew it was coming, GROW UP! It was one of the better groaners of the past few months, you must admit.)

Figueiredo said the implants, each bearing an individual number, could now only be sold for clandestine surgeries. Horrific stories abound in Brazil about the illegal operations that can cause gangrene and death.
(OK, I think I'm going to try to work the phrase "clandestine boob job" into every conversation I have for the next few weeks and see how it works. It's just so fun to say!)

Sudiegirl's final opinion?

You know, my chest is saggy and all that, but I am happy with it. I understand the desire to better oneself, but really, are fake boobs really necessary? Can't you just take a continuing education course or something? I don't know.

All-naturally yours,
Sudiegirl