Various gripes...maybe some thankfulness thrown in, but I doubt it

Greetings fair readers!

It's a Sunday afternoon, and tomorrow at 3 PM I fly my way back to the Midwest to pick up my inheritance, tour Doug's hometown, and see my mom, dad, sister, nieces and nephew. (I'm not going to discuss Doug's mother because if I do it will just make me want to run her through the food processor twice.)

Anyway, life's been interesting this past week. I really don't want to go into detail until things are ironed out upon return from the great state of Illinois because most of it is work related. At any rate, it made me realize that I need this vacation more than life itself. I did find out that Doug and I have to sleep apart while we stay in his mother's house, and really that's fine because I'd rather not have her hear our "sex noises". There are some things that honestly should be private, you know?

Not a whole lot in the news/current events scene that I really care to comment on other than the "Missing Bride in GA" case, where they found her in New Mexico and she claimed to have been abducted, then later said she just had a case of cold feet. Well, no WONDER! My god, she was supposed to have a HUGE wedding with a kazillion bridesmaids and stuff like that. The authorities even had her fiance go through the whole lie detector scene.

The thing that upset me, though, was that her whole hometown felt betrayed by her actions. Now don't get me wrong, I understand the feeling of betrayal because I'm sure the whole town pulled together to try and find her, comfort the families and husband to be, etc. It's certainly understandable...I'd probably feel the same way if I were a resident of her hometown.

However, as a former resident of a small town, I also have this to say: I think she was really under a lot of pressure, with the trappings and everyone telling her what to do when it's her day. I don't agree with her methods, but I can certainly understand.

I remember when my sister and I married our first spouses. I got engaged before she did, but she got married before I did. It was nightmarish. There were a lot of things I wanted to plan well ahead of time (photographer, etc) but my folks wanted to wait until Ruth was married.

That was all fine and good except for one thing...she got married in December and I was getting married the following June. I had total strangers come up to me in the supermarket and call me a terrible person because I was "forcing" my mother to make my wedding dress so soon after my sister got married. I felt pretty violated, and my parents didn't really stand up for me and say that we were trying to plan two weddings at the same time, etc.

Also, I learned the lesson that having a fancy church wedding doesn't make you any more married or served as a guarantee that the marriage would last. My 1st husband dumped me two months and 3 days after our 2nd year anniversary because he hadn't loved me for a year and 1/2. I'm pretty sure he loved other women in surrounding counties, and I was no innocent myself by the end, but I think he got a good running start.

In short, when someone you know is getting married, the best thing you can do for them is simply offer your help, support, backyard, whatever it takes. Too many people are ready to offer criticism and the phrase, "Well, when I got married..." You know what? To paraphrase one of my favorite movie quotes, "It ISN'T you, Blanche!" You aren't going through what this person is going through right now. Simply ask, "What can I do to make your wedding a good one? How can I help?"

Sometimes, that's a better gift than Corningware.

Sudiegirl, the world-weary but still lovable.