More highlights from our vacation...if only I wasn't so damned computer challenged that I can't scan pictures like other people...

Ah, me public! (as Bugs Bunny would say)

Well, folks, I had to rack my brain but there IS so much more I can tell you about our trip to Bloomington, Illinois. It's not obscene (for the most part), but hey, it IS interesting.

• My mother and father took the children and grandchildren out to eat at Hooters. (Or, "Fancy Redneck Family Dinners, Part I").

Yes, it's true...the original plan (as I think I related earlier) was that Dad, Doug and Cameron were going to go eat lunch at Hooters while the "ladyfolk" (my sister, my mother, the girls and I) were going to eat somewhere more refined (read: somewhere with a damned salad bar). However, Courtney and Chloe didn't want to miss out on their brother's potential embarassment, so we ALL went to Hooters.

The food was good, we had a very good looking waitress (she'd even make a straight woman rethink her priorities for a split second) and, in the spirit of Redneck love and familial bonding, the grandparents bought the grandkids Hooters t-shirts and stocking caps. They pulled the stocking caps down over their heads and changed into their tee-shirts once we left the restaurant, thereby looking like three mini-thugs about to knock over the nearest liquor store.

To top it off, the waitresses all signed the kids' t-shirts, going especially overboard on Cameron's. However, Cameron was a gentleman...when the waitress took his order (of course, bending down to do so in her low-cut tee-shirt because he is, after all, under 5 ft. tall when sitting down), he looked EVERYWHERE but at her. Also (for those of you who don't know), the waitress actually provided customized, personal condiment service (read: she smacked the bottom of the ketchup bottle several times until ketchup flowed copiously, thereby making the ol' mammaries jiggle), and Cameron looked straight ahead, and was as red as the ketchup to boot.

Ah yes, this is how the Dawsons have a good time. Doug's mother thinks Hooters is degrading to women, but I'm just trying to figure out how we can get a restaurant established to satisfy the...shall we say...BASER INSTINCTS of the female species, with a damned salad bar.

Actually, I think Hooters is the only unique, Redneck-Dawsonian segment of time we had on the trip.

We did try to educate the children and pull them away from the allure of the mall. The zoo, for example...the kids (well, all of us really) LOVED the zoo. Chloe has an excellent future as an administrative assistant. She made sure we were at the zoo in time for the sea lion feeding, and made sure we stopped for lunch because, quote, "Grandma's diabetes." Not "Grandma HAS diabetes", but "Grandma's diabetes". I was just glad I was in the land of Steak 'n' Shake once more...sigh...but what did I get when I was AT Steak 'n' Shake? A salad. I'm such a dork. Not even a sundae! Oh well...

Another thing...it was really a different vibe to go back to the Midwest and spend time there under pleasant circumstances (visits to Doug's father notwithstanding). I forgot that the people there can be quite kind and generous even if you're a stranger. However, I've been on the East Coast long enough that people here can be that way too...you just have to be patient and they appear unexpectedly, like guardian angels. There's stereotypes on both sides and I've lived them. I still prefer life here because I think I just fit in better here, but there are good things about back home too. Now once we get a few more Steak 'n' Shakes and Culvers' here in DC, I think things will be all right. Hell, we've already got Hooters!

High-Calorically Yours,

Sudiegirl