Happy Easter!

I know, I've been a delinquent. Many lame excuses for not writing in here lately, including:

1. The light bulb in the torchiere lamp next to the computer burnt out, and I don't like typing in the dark.
2. Diarrhea. ('Nuff said.)
3. Extreme exhaustion upon coming home from work.
4. Extreme exhaustion upon departing for work.
5. Extreme exhaustion at work.
6. March Madness.
7. Too much other good stuff on TV.
8. I could say I've given up blogging for Lent, but I think I actually made some entries during the first part of Lent so that would be hypocritical.
9. I've been trying to figure out how many licks it takes to get to the Tootsie Roll Center of a Tootsie Pop (and you know what? The world may never know...)
10. I'm still mourning the exclusion of Paul Giamatti from the list of Oscar nominees (and if anyone who reads this knows him personally, please let him know he's in my pantheon of unlikely sexy guys and would like a personal item of his clothing...).

But mostly, I haven't been writing in here because I'm just a lazy damned slob. Sorry folks, but that is the ugly truth. And frankly, since Martha Stewart is out of jail and on house arrest, there's not quite as much to laugh at in life. Don't use the Michael Jackson argument either, because that's too easy.

Interesting stuff going on in the world, though...

1. Bobby Short ("Kind of young, kind of now, Charlie; kind of free, kind of WOW! Charlie"), the legendary cabaret singer/pianist who had regular shows at the Cafe Carlyle, died last week. Here is a man whose life turned out to be a complete 180-degree difference from how he started, and he was singing and playing pretty much to the end. How many football players can say that?

2. John "Nose Candy" DeLorean also died last week. My ex-husband had to ask me what his spokesmodel/ex-wife's name was, as he couldn't remember. I'm so happy to be of service, I could just puke. Anyway, was I the only one who thought the DeLorean was butt-ugly and useless? Oh well...won't be the first or the last time I'm in the minority.

3. Prince Rainier is not well. Is it just me, or did other people think he was already dead? I mean, you don't hear about someone for years and years, and then all of a sudden we find out they're in intensive care. Wow. How fickle we are.

4. Finally, I have decided that I would not be able to decide between all four men on the "Blue Collar Comedy Tour", and what's more, I would like to join them and be a female redneck comedienne on the tour. That's not too much to ask, is it? Other than chewing Skoal, I can drink beer, eat beef jerky, talk about weird relatives, watch NASCAR and wear cowboy boots. If any of their agents are reading this, please contact me ASAP so we can talk turkey. As Larry would say, "Git 'r' done!"

And with that, I leave you. As a twisted friend of mine once stated, the correct greeting for Easter should be "Happy Zombie Jesus Day!" So there ya go.

Sudiegirl

P.S. My church (St. Nicholas Episcopal) serves champagne at communion on Easter Sunday. How cool is that? I think I'll be there next year and see if they have brie for the body of our lord and savior Jesus Christ. Life is good sometimes, y'all.