More things I just don't get

1. In the July '04 issue of Georgia Outdoor News magazine, they have a feature article on Michael Hubbard. Michael Hubbard is a deer hunter.

Michael Hubbard is also BLIND.

As the song from "Sesame Street" goes (paraphrased): "One of these things just doesn't belong here. " OK, I've already talked about how I don't get the whole "hunting animals as a pleasurable activity" thing, but a BLIND HUNTER? You think Stevie Wonder takes out his Winchester 30.06 and goes out for some moose? I don't think so.

Oh, it's not like Mr. Hubbard goes out by himself and feels his way through the forest, and when something feels like Bambi, he shoots it. NO...he has friends that help him aim his gun, and he pulls the trigger.

My God. I don't have friends like this...maybe guy friends are different than girl friends. If I was blind and wanted to hunt, none of my girl friends would take me. I can't think of a single girlfriend of mine who would logically approve of such an activity. Now my guy friends, on the other hand...they're game to try anything once, especially if I would provide beer and nachos, and had a classic rock station playing Lynyrd Skynrd's "Free Bird".

Also, what if he has a practical joker/psychopath of a friend, who aims the gun at something other than a deer, like his ex-wife? "Yeah, that's a six-point floozy in season there...hold 'er steady, Mike, we don't want the pitcher to be all blurry-like."

For those of you who don't believe me, the website is www.gon.com, and the article is entitled "Hunting Through Other's Eyes" (yes, the misuse of the apostrophe is there too). Remind me to NEVER go to Georgia during hunting season.

2. Mike Wallace (from "60 Minutes") gets mouthy and is issued a summons. My God...Wallace got pissy (and at 86 years old, he's got experience, I'll tell ya that) because two inspectors were questioning his driver b/c they thought he was double parked. He even "interfered with the investigation", but no details were given about that. I'd love to know how he interfered...did he poke them soundly in the chest with his index finger? Did he say, "Your mother blows bubble gum"? Did he flash 'em (although, at 86, there may be nothing left to flash except broken dreams)? I think this is important information that everyone needs to know.

OK, Mike...get a grip. You're 86. Surely you know how to play the system by now! Get a "handicapped" sign or sticker for your car if you have a mobility problem...otherwise, just let 'em do their job. Do you have something to hide? You'd ask a victim - excuse me, interview subject - the same question if they evaded your questions and interfered with your journalistic process. Man, just go to court and deal with it. It might help to go in with a walker, forget your name a few times, tell the judge he looks like Kate Smith, ask when the next bus trip to the casino is, stuff like that. It couldn't hurt. I do it every day! :-)

Well, until there's more stuff I don't understand, I remain,

Sudiegirl