Tuesday, January 29, 2008

"He Blew It", or "Independence Day"...the continuing adventures of DD and how it relates to ME and my attitude at the moment.

OK - I guess I didn't fill you in on all the issues surrounding DD.

I mentioned the coke addiction and the defocusing on the big problem to focus on a (relatively) smaller problem...mainly, a toxic relationship of his. He was involved with a woman for about five years, and their relationship has been quite stormy. As in "fight like cats and dogs" stormy. To make it worse, her sister is married to one of his brothers.

I have been the listening ear and the wiper of guy tears while he related the saga to me in bits and pieces. He did something REALLY stupid. He got together with her sometime over the Christmas holiday, but things turned sour and she told him not to call her anymore because she had someone else.

What does he do? Does he feel sad but abide by her request?

Oh HELL no. That would require thinking through the situation, which apparently can't be done. No...he went to her house and left a note on her door asking her to marry him. The after-effect was one he didn't anticipate...she called him and yelled over the phone to NEVER come to her house again or she'd call the police.

So the weekend this happened (two weekends ago, I believe), Sudiegirl is drying guy tears and telling him that he's better off without her, he can focus on more important things, like his recovery. I figure he's actually going to TRY doing what I suggest. Yeah, I'm stupid like that, I guess.

So Martin Luther King Day rolls around, and what happens? This woman filed a peace order against DD, saying he made her feel threatened, he was under the influence, etc. So I get a phone call about that TOO...screaming, crying, etc. Great. Just what I needed...someone screaming at ME about something HE did that was STUPID.

The week took a while to calm down, and today DD had the hearing regarding this li'l peace order. He was hoping that she wouldn't show and that things would be dismissed.

Nope nope nope. The peace order stands and he has to stay away from her for six months.

I get a snotty e-mail from him saying that he was "sure I was happy" about it. When I left a note on his desk asking if he wanted to talk, he was very curt with me, then sent another e-mail stating he "hated f'ing women", that it would take a while for him to get over this and to "get used to it".

Here is what I responded with:

Well, you may have to get used to some things too...like the fact that I DIDN'T DO THIS TO YOU.

I didn't file anything against you. I have been there to listen to you. I have given MANY words of encouragement. I have done everything I know how to do.

I refuse to be an emotional punching bag for you. I've been there, done that, and the t-shirt I got didn't fit, so do NOT ever go there with me again. You are my friend, but I do not want to be held in the same category as this other person you're having issues with. If that's how it's going to be, then we need to rethink this whole thing.
So at this point, he can go play in traffic for all I care. As the picture says, "Stick a fork in me, I'm DONE."

But I know I'm still going to worry. I'm a dork like that.