Thursday, December 06, 2007

Time(pieces) aren't on Oprah's side...item 3 of her 2007 "Favorite Things" list and Sudiegirl's response

Oprah digs Toywatch watches, y'all.

Here's what Oprah sez about these suckers:

"My next favorite thing comes straight out of the pages of O, The Oprah Magazine," Oprah says. TOYWATCH watches come in a variety of styles and colors and have been seen on everyone from Madonna to Al Gore. The Crystal and Colored Crystal models made Oprah's list this year. "I loved mine so much, I wore it just about every day on my big road trip with Gayle," Oprah says.

OK - I just gotta say a couple words about THIS.

First, if you're supposed to get somewhere on time, why would you wear a toy watch? Aren't those suckers supposed to be non-functional, for little kids who wanna pretend they're grownups and don't have an agenda of any sort? That's how I always understood it. Notice Oprah doesn't mention whether she arrived to events ON TIME during her big road trip with Gayle. That's a lie of omission right there, isn't it?

And the prices? Between $150 and $1500? FOR A TOY?????

I don't think so, peoples. How DARE Oprah tout a toy watch for that much when she doesn't even tell us if the damned things are functional? If I want a watch that can be called a "toy watch", then by Christ (who we're celebrating the holiday for ANYWAY) I want to spend as little money as possible and make sure it's a TOY and not a real watch. It makes sense that Madonna spends $1500 for a toy...she's an idiot. But neither myself nor my readers (all 12 of them) are not idiots.

(Well, the jury's still out on me, anyway...)

*****Editor's has come to my attention that some folks think I'm serious about the fact that I think "ToyWatch" is an actual "toy watch". I am SO not serious. Thank you, the management. Now please continue to read the COMEDIC POST.

Personally, Oprah's employing a classic case of the ol' "bait and switch", and since Rancho Sudiegirl is all about protecting unsuspecting peeps from hucksters, here's what I suggest if you want an actual TOY WATCH.

Ladies and Gentlemens, I give you the WATCH FLYING DISC.

To be honest, there's not much description on this site about the least, it's not as flowery as Oprah's site. But then again, we can't all be Oprah, now can we? (Personally, I'm OK with that.)

I have included a picture of this product, and it is indeed a toy watch in the sense that it doesn't function as a watch.

Rather, it looks like a miniature Frisbee launcher. You get the launcher thingie to strap on your wrist, and two flying discs with pictures of maniacal-looking bunny rabbits on them. Since this is a wholesale site of sorts, I'm not seeing prices readily available, but I'm guessing you could buy a gross of them and it's probably cost as much as ONE of Oprah's "toy watches".

So SEE? Ya got the toy factor, the non-functioning watch factor that comes with the toy watches of old, and crazed bunnies. Nothing says "Christmas cheer" like a cartoon bunny that looks like it's got a nasty case of rabies.

Never let it be said that I have bad taste. At least, not when I'm within earshot, please.