Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Swing Time Big Band Photo...plus a totally (un)biased report of Sunday's gig...

This is what the entire STBB crew looks like when you gather them up in one place (a couple subs thrown in, but essentially, it's us...)!

This picture is relatively fresh...it was taken at the Gaithersburg (MD) Holiday Inn on Sunday evening for a US Navy reunion. I rushed in about five minutes before downbeat totally unaware that pics were even going to HAPPEN, so everyone's yelling, "Get out of the way! Pictures! Move!"

Then I figured out that they wanted me in the picture. (I'm a bit dim on Sunday evenings.)

It was a fun gig, and of course since I didn't have to play an instrument and keep my eyes glued to a sheet of music, I got to see stuff other people didn't.

Examples? Hell yeah!

  1. First and foremost, I must say that sometimes senior citizens put folks my age to shame. There was one old duffer out there (probably in his '80s) who was really cutting a rug. He didn't limit himself to dances from "his day" either...he could do the electric slide and all that with the best of 'em. He was tall and gangly (made me think of Dick Van Dyke) but he could move. The fun part was when he'd get a female partner out there with him and he'd just swing her around like a yo-yo. Lots of spins and twirls, and (of course) dramatic dips at the end. More than one female left the floor slightly winded.
  2. One couple brought their little grandson with them. He was probably about eight years old or so, but he was very well behaved. He danced several times with his grandma, and his head basically fit between her two breasts. (Something tells me that when he gets old, this will be the preferred position for him while dancing...can't imagine why.) However, he fell asleep at the dance. It was so cute. He had his head and shoulders on one chair, his chest on another chair, and his legs and rear hanging off the side. I wish I had a picture of it...it was too cute to be believed.
NOW...as some of you folk may remember, I do take note of any individuals who have unique dancing habits at these gigs. This one was no exception. I hope I can describe it vividly enough so video is not necessary to further explain my point.

I nicknamed him "Leisure Suit Larry".

Why did I do this?

Well...he just looked like he'd be more at home in a leisure suit than anything else in this world.

This gent looked to be about 5'11" (maybe a li'l shorter), and he wore his blond hair slicked back. It looked like he used about a gallon of hair gel and then a fine sheen of lacquer so NO strand would wave in the wind.

The suit he had on looked OK, but I'm not talking about men's fashion at this point.

This dude...well...let's just say that from the waist up he was doing one thing and from the waist down he was doing something else. He was holding his body correctly from the waist up, but his hips, butt and legs were dancing like he was on "Dance Fever" or something. I'm not the greatest dancer in the world. I KNOW this, and I try hard not to be judgmental.

But this guy was something else. No matter what partner he was out on the floor with, he looked almost obscene from the waist down. He was working that pelvis and also pumping his arms so much he looked like he was rowing crew for Yale. And he thought he was the official replacement for Fred Astaire, I'm sure.

The worst example was when the band played a waltz ("Moon River", I think). Granted, a waltz is hard to do. I usually don't even attempt it.

However, there was no stoppin' Leisure Suit Larry. He was ready to go.

How can I fully describe the result of his actions?

Let's just say that somehow he managed to mix the waltz and the lambada into one "thrilling" combination. I was compelled to watch in the same way that one watches a car wreck...it's so compelling and sickening all at once that you just can't help yourself...you HAVE to watch.

Of course, the other band members are so busy playing that they miss out on this stuff. Let's just say that I consider it my duty to let them know JUST what they're missing out on.

And I fulfill that duty whenever I have a chance, whether they want me to or not.

So on that note, I think I'll cut things short for today and see if Leisure Suit Larry has opened up his dance studio yet. I feel a song coming on...