Monday, May 21, 2007

Masochistic with rainbow sprinkles!

Irrelevant Song Lyric for today:

Cynthia wore the prettiest dress,
with different colored socks...
Sometimes I wondered

if the mates were in her lunchbox...

"Starfish and Coffee" by Prince...from the "Sign O'The Times" album.

Well, peoples...yet another weekend has passed me by, but I actually caught on to some of it before it was all over. I haven't lost my touch quite yet.

Two gigs this 50th wedding anniversary party and another old folks' home gig.

The anniversary party was pretty was at a place called Normandie Farm, a restaurant in Potomac, MD that specializes in "French Country" cuisine. The setting was GORGEOUS and the weather couldn't have been more pleasant. It was a "tux gig", meaning tuxes for the guys and cocktail-ish wear for me. We played 1/2 hour longer than I anticipated, but that's OK.


  • A little girl (grand-daughter of the honored couple) wanted us to play Aretha Franklin's "Respect"...however, since that was not on our playlist, we offered her the consolation prize of playing the "shaker" (a plastic skull filled with beads that you shake like a maraca). She liked it, so all was well.
Of course, into each life a little rain must fall...

Some old fart at the end got mad at us when we played a blues tune ("Black Coffee") that we simply WAILED on and had a good time with. It's one of our group's favorite tunes. Nobody was dancing, and the honored couple didn't care, so off we went. Anyway, this gent proceeded to tell us that we were just "entertaining ourselves", but he chose to tell us while we were playing the tune and couldn't hear him. (Makes sense, doesn't it? After all, it's far easier to make asshole comments when one can get away with not being heard.)

Of course, me being the industrious, eager-to-please diva that I am, I went up to him when the tune was done and we were closing up shop and asked him, "I'm sorry, sir...I missed what you said earlier."

"Well, I said that you were just doing that song to entertain yourselves instead of getting people on the dance floor," he grumbled. He then added, "You had six or eight couples on the floor, and then you go and play that Dave Brubeck stuff and you're just entertaining yourselves."

Of course, the smart-ass in me and the nice, eager-to-please Iowa girl combined as one mighty unit. First of all, I said, "Actually, that tune wasn't Dave Brubeck, it was a blues tune." I was sincerely telling the truth...Dave Brubeck doesn't do that many vocal numbers beyond choral pieces. I figured why not give a minuscule jazz history lesson while I was at it?

He grumbled even more: "Well, whatever it was, you were just entertaining yourselves." (By the way...from a musician's perspective on the evening, there's nothing wrong with entertaining yourself as long as the host/hostess are OK with it. We didn't receive icy stares from them so I figured we were cool.)

I replied, "Well, I'll certainly tell the members of the band. Thank you for the compliment!" I thought his wife was going to fall on the floor laughing. It was a little tiny I loved it. The band appreciated my efforts.

By the way, we had another FAB sax player...George Oakley. He lives in Kensington, MD, and I had the honor of singing with him almost two years ago at a charity gig. He also played flute and was a really nice blend of expertise, all things considered.

Yesterday, we had another fab gig at the Hebrew Home of Greater Washington. We've played there several times, and each time is a good time. This time we played for the hospital unit of the Home, and the room was quite live, but a pretty room all the same.


  • A woman with dementia told me her life story about three or four times. She also asked "Do you do any Frank Sinatra tunes?" after EVERY song we performed, and (with her cataract-clouded eyes) told me I was pretty. That always warms my heart when a legally blind person declares me pleasing to the eye. I dig it.
  • I won a bet with the bass player on what time the main guitarist would arrive. I guessed 2:25 PM (since the gig started at 2:30), and the bass player guessed 2:30. I won $1.00 (hey, it's the spirit of the thing, right?)
  • Lots of singing along with woman in the back was REALLY getting into it. There was much swinging of arms, clapping and singing at the top of her lungs. That's probably how I'm going to be when I get old...either that or I'll just tell everyone to leave me the hell alone. Wait...I already do that. Never mind.
OK - enough of my life...let's mock others, shall we?

First of all, In the "Continuing Adventures of Phil Spector" department...testimony from Spector's driver has been heard. To quote the article:

Moments after Spector had allegedly confessed to shooting dead Lana Clarkson at his home in February 2003, DeSouza made a panicky call to emergency services telling an operator: "I think my boss killed somebody."

The recording was played by prosecutors as DeSouza neared the end of his testimony at Los Angeles Superior Court before facing cross-examination.

Asked by the operator why he believed Spector had killed someone, DeSouza replied: "Because there is a lady on the floor and he have a gun in his hand."

Seems pretty obvious to me...further testimony states:

On Tuesday DeSouza told the court how Spector had emerged from his house clutching a revolver in a bloodied hand before declaring to the driver: "I think I killed somebody."
Yep...I'm fully clinched. I know we have to have due process and all that...but sometimes, doesn't the concept frustrate you when you know beyond the shadow of a doubt that the dude did it? I mean, what else should be done...a ticker tape parade or barbecue? Come on. It's very frustrating...just one of the millions of reasons I ain't a lawyer.

And speaking of "Knowing beyond the shadow of a doubt that someone did it..." we have new members of the "Brain Trust" program! Let's take a look, shall we?
Recipients: Gene Horne, 36, and Kelly Mewhirter, 30, of Naperville, Illinois:
Reason: Well...where do I start? How about with the scenario? OK...

A couple was sentenced in Illinois last week for trying to carry out a bank robbery - at the bank's drive-through.

According to the Naperville Sun, Gene Horne, 36, and Kelly Mewhirter, 30, were sentenced on May 4 to five years and four months in prison for a string of robberies, including the botched attempt.

Yep...a drive-through robbery. What better way to commit a felony...from the convenience of your own car!

Here's more:

On March 13, 2006, the pair drove up to the drive-through at Mutual Bank in Naperville, according to the Sun, and sent a holdup note to a teller.

The means of delivery: A pneumatic tube.

"You have 10 seconds to fill up the tube w/100's and 50's. No dye packs. Or I'll shoot everyone the parking lot," the note said, according to a plea agreement quoted in the Sun.

But instead of cashing out, the teller locked the doors and hit the alarm.

So anyway...they finally got busted when they used the same formula for crime again a few days later.

Judge's comments:

OK, here's the stupidity:

Two days later, on March 15, Horne and Mewhirter drove up to a Chase Bank in Naperville.

"Horne orally announced a robbery and demanded cash form the teller's drawer," according to an FBI press release. "After obtaining $2,800 in U.S. currency, the two fled the bank on foot, and were observed entering a Toyota 4-Runner."

OK - if you're at the drive-through robbing a bank, why do you leave the bank ON FOOT??? Seriously, seems to me that the logical thing would be to stay in the car and drive, right?

Secondly...I question the mode of punishment for these people. Yes, they did commit felonies, and they were sentenced to prison. However, I don't really think that was the most appropriate thing to do.

Don't worry...this isn't a Code of Hammurabi "Eye For An Eye" thing. But it is a variation of some sort.

Think about many times have YOU used the drive through at your bank, only to wind up being stuck behind some yutz who can't remember his/her account number or wants a hundred dollars in pennies? You're doing this on your lunch hour or whatever, and the seconds burn into minutes as you sit and wait on this pinhead in front of you.

You know what? If I had been in that drive-through waiting line that day and my schedule was FUBAR'd because of these yahoos wanting to rob a bank instead of work like everyone else, I would probably get out of my vehicle and proceed to beat on the window with my purse, screaming, "YOU PUTZ!!! I'm doing this on my LUNCH HOUR! KNOCK IT THE HELL OFF!"

Something tells me that others in the line would join me, and pretty soon it would resemble one of those film clips from when the Beatles first came to America...people screaming and beating on the windows of a car. To hell with the possibility of getting shot. You DON'T mess with my lunch hour, man. Uh-uh.

So there you go...that's Monday for ya. Enjoy it...