Tuesday, February 06, 2007

When Tuesdays go bad...

Thought for Today:
"If you can talk brilliantly about a problem, it can create the consoling illusion that it has been mastered."
— Stanley Kubrick, American movie director (1928-1999).
Sudiegirl's response: Damn - he found out my secret. Back to the drawing board...

Well, I pontificated in the first entry for today. Now it's time for other stuff. Not sure what that stuff is exactly, but hey - that's part of the fun.

In other news, the radio did not play at all on this morning's commute. I listened to the new 94.7 format, and it's OK...but I still miss Stevens and Medley. I'll have to do a one-woman campaign of pasting their photos to milk cartons so I can find them and get them back on the air. I am so SAD about all this...well, as sad as I can be considering I've got other things going on in my life.

My mother reminded me that I was going to get older this week (like I am somehow blissfully unaware of this...uh, yeah). I gently reminded her, "Gee, Ma - no matter how old I get, you'll always be older than me." She didn't like that too much. Parents seldom do. I'm glad I have cats. They don't really care enough to actively persecute, you know?

So enough about that stuff...let's get to the goodies, shall we?

First of all - DAVID LEE is gonna tour with VAN HALEN! Hard rock fans everywhere are cavorting with glee. (Gee, that's kind of a foppish term to use for hard rock fans...maybe not, though, if they also like glam rock. Oh-KAY...enough of that shite.)

I'm just glad that Dave found something to do since his radio show was canned.

I'd rather see Dave touring with Van Halen as opposed to Howard Stern.

Can Howard Stern sing? Do we care? Nah...

Anyway, congratulations Dave, from the staff of Rancho Sudiegirl, Inc. (Millie's a big Van Halen fan...who knew?)

Next, another scientific activity - and this one's from MY home state! Ladies and gentlemens, I give to you...

Alternate title: "I Didn't Know Bambi Was A Playa!"

Dale Garner, wildlife bureau chief at the Iowa Department of Natural Resources.
Reason: Two words: deer contraceptives

Yes, in this crazy world, deer are...if you'll pardon the pun...horny little things.

(Now quit your groanin'...you KNOW it was out there, and I had to say it. I HADDA say it!)

To quote the article:

DES MOINES, Iowa - Iowa wildlife experts are looking into a new deer contraceptive that could curb the state's multimillion-dollar-a-year overpopulation problem.

The new, single-dose birth control vaccine would neutralize sex hormones in the famously fertile and polygamous animals. It would result in infertility in both males and females.

Before the vaccine can be used, a bill before the Iowa State Legislature must be passed that regulates this medication as well as others (growth hormones, different meds to treat disease, etc). The vaccine is in the final stages of development and is expected to be available in early 2008. This is historical because, to quote the article: The EPA wouldn't likely approve the drug until early 2008, making it the first wildlife contraceptive available for nonresearch purposes.

Judge's comments: Just a few things.

First, a quote from the head honcho in Iowa, Dale Garner:

"It's not something you want anyone or everyone to use," said Dale Garner, wildlife bureau chief at the Iowa Department of Natural Resources. "We want to make sure it's not used willy-nilly in the state."
I didn't know "willy-nilly" was a scientific term. Is that used in conjunction with "hodge podge" or "higgledy-piggeldy"? When I think of "willy nilly", it reminds me more of some Beatrix Potter character, only in this case it would have a hypodermic needle whilst running about the countryside.

Second, another quote from the article and Garner therein:

Researchers say the vaccine, a protein, shouldn't be dangerous for people to eat meat from a vaccinated deer. However, Garner worries about what could happen if people are accidentally injected with the drug.

"What if some people in a neighborhood get a deer down ... and it's kicking or takes a side step or a roll and some guy or lady gets injected in the rear end?" he said. "Or if somebody's shooting a dart gun at deer in a park, and it misses an animal and hits a person? Or if a kid picks up an unspent dart and the injection goes off?"

Oh, this is the stuff that old sitcom episodes are made of, isn't it? I have this image of my mother taking a stroll in the woods and accidentally getting a shot of that stuff. I pity the fool who does it...they'd better know how to run fast.

Finally, I never really thought of deer as polygamous. But now that I know better (Thank you, Mr. Garner), all I can think of now is some kind of deer orgy outside of Cedar Rapids. Male deer in leisure suits, a big disco ball high up in a tree, porn movie music (heavy on the bass and wa-wa pedal), and female deer in tight dresses and stiletto heels. It's mating season, folks...

And with that, I bid you a fond farewell.