Welcome to Thursday - now in Hidden Valley Ranch flavor!

Thought for Today:
"If you are ruled by mind you are a king; if by body, a slave."
— Cato, Roman statesman and historian (234 B.C.-149 B.C.)

Sudiegirl's response:
Jeez...I thought he was the Green Hornet's sidekick - my bad.



Well, folks - I hope you like the changes I made to the blog...to be honest, the Beta version was easier to use than I thought, and it looks a little more polished. Too bad it's soiled by my writing. Aargh - oh well...that's the way it goes.

To those who responded to yesterday's post re: my sister's family, I thank you very much. The situation regarding Ruthi's FIL still stuns me when I think about it. He and his wife had so many plans for retirement, and he'd even kicked the smoking habit and stayed off cigars for two years. Now this.

I am thankful to Earl, his wife Jacque and their son "Chip" (my sister's husband) for being so good and loving to my sister's children. Many times, when families blend, the process is painful and the new step-parent/grandparent can treat stepchildren/stepgrandchildren terribly.

Not these people.

Jacque and Earl Craig were always good and thoughtful to my sister and her kids. They were happy for a chance to be grandparents and always treated my beloved "3 C's" like their own. Chip is a better father to the "3 C's" in many ways as well - they fuss and fight through the regular teenage things, and I don't always agree with Chip's point of view. But he LOVES them. He never pulls that "they're not MY kids" trick...to him, they are his kids. Period.

So Big Ernie, if you're listening, please give these people my thanks and love them like you love everyone.

OK - seriousness is over...let's get to the good stuff! Right? Right!!! :-)

We've got two celebrity criminals today that say, "I didn't do it" regarding their respective DUI's. Here's the thing - I DON'T BELIEVE 'EM. It's not a dislike for them clouding my judgment either...at least, not for George Michael. I don't trust Ms. Hilton any further than I can throw her. But COME ON! Blood tests don't lie - and last I heard, neither do breathalyzers. (If I'm wrong on the breathalyzer thing, be sure to let me know, 'k?)

Little Miss "More Money Than Brains", for example, weighs less than your average Q-Tip. She says she drank just "one margarita". Well, I doubt her counting skills to begin with, but she's skinny enough that she probably has the tolerance of a gnat flying by an open wine bottle. Even though she's a party girl, she's also skin and bones. So she either had more than one margarita, one margarita that has enough fluid to fill a standard-size hot tub, or weighs 2 lbs. I really don't get how she can justify that "not guilty" plea.

Regarding George Michael, he basically said, "Yeah, I smoke weed to relax, and I'm cool with it". So he admits to impairing his judgment on a regular basis...he's still hot, but he's tokin' and drivin', and that ain't cool. I really feel badly for him and the downward spiral his career has taken. He's a very good singer - one of the better ones to come out of the '80s - but his habits are draggin' him down. Too bad.

Next - AWARDS! A new one first..."Weird States". Rancho Sudiegirl, Inc. devised this one because when we peruse the bizarro news items for real gems, sometimes certain states stick out a bit more than others. So I present to you..."Weird States"!
Yes, Wisconsin (the "We Like Cheese and Beer" state) and Florida ("Land of Foley Fever") are today's states. Rancho Sudiegirl has found gems from each state for your perusal, so away we go!

First, WISCONSIN.

First Recipient: Thomas Lahiff, of Waukesha, Wisconsin
Reason: To quote the article:

A mail carrier had a blood-alcohol level nearly four times the legal limit when he was arrested for driving his delivery truck into oncoming traffic and crashing into a sign, police said.

Thomas Lahiff was incoherent Friday when he returned to the post office, where he was arrested about an hour after the crash, Police Capt. Mike Babe said. He said tests showed the 46-year-old's blood-alcohol level was 0.31 percent.

Yup...basically, he crossed into incoming traffic, jumped the curb and hit a "no-parking" sign. That "four times the legal limit" thing probably didn't help much, either.

Double Plus Bonus: Here's what the USPS spokesperson had to say...again, directly from the article:

Postal Service spokeswoman JoAnne Blackburn said Lahiff was involved in an accident and would not be delivering mail pending an investigation, but she would not elaborate.

Gee, ya think?

Judge's comments: As the child of two postal workers (one carrier, one clerk), I can honestly say this was never an issue for my parents.

However, how much do you want to bet that if he isn't FIRED from the job, he'll be written up for it and he'll have the cojones to file a grievance with his union rep? Oh...I think that being a union steward would suck when someone with a bogus grievance shows up. That's what gives unions a bad name, really.

OK...next designee:

Recipient: The Witter Field ice rink, Wisconsin Rapids, WI
Reason: To quote Jon Lovitz' character in "The Critic"..."It Stinks." From the article:

WISCONSIN RAPIDS, Wis. - It's almost crunch time for the city in its campaign to keep the stink out of a local rink. The Witter Field ice rink has a 2-year-old, $196,000 warming house, but it also has a not-so-savory reputation for its late-season odor.

Dan Morzewski of the city's parks and recreation department says the problem isn't the ice itself but the dead grass underneath. When warmer weather descends in the early part of the year (January/February), the ice melts and the dead grass gets wet and combines with the mud to create the most un-wonderful smell. So basically, the whole town is on pins and needles to see how the stink matter will be resolved.

Judge's comments: See, THIS is why I don't ice-skate. (Well, that, and I'm a total klutz.)

Well, we've covered Wisconsin - now on to Sunny FLORIDA!!!

First Recipient: Danny Robert Villegas, SOUTH DAYTONA, Fla.

Reason: He wants to go back to prison...who'd a thunk? To quote the article:

Danny Robert Villegas liked prison so much he staged a robbery just to get back in, police say. Officers were called to the Kennedy Space Center Federal Credit Union on Monday after Villegas allegedly walked inside, told the teller he was robbing her and said, "You might as well call the police now," according to a police report.

"He said he wanted to rob a federal bank because he wanted to go back to a federal penitentiary," Wright said. "Apparently he robbed a bank in Fresno, California, 10 years ago, was sentenced to 70 months in a federal penitentiary in Phoenix and he enjoyed his time there."

Apparently, he's under the impression that a federal pen in Florida will be ocean view property, as the article stated this was one of the reasons he came to Florida in the first place. However, he didn't fiscally plan for his vacation and ran out of dough...so he went to get some the only way he knew would get him back to the high life that our American penal system offers.

Judge's comments: My GOD. This world never ceases to amaze me. I think I dated a few people like him back in the day. If that isn't scary, I don't know what is.

2nd Designee: un-named burglar motivated by guilt
Reason: To quote the article:

Eve and Steven Greene made a simple plea to the burglar who broke into their house: Keep the valuables. Return the cremated remains of their 4-year-old son. "Just drop it off somewhere with a note on it," Steven Greene said. "And that'll be that."

It worked.

It seems the thief with a conscience stole $10,000 worth of merchandise from this family, including the cremated remains of their son Zachary, who died of cancer at age 4. The plea noted above was more effective than a person would think for, and the thief made good.

Judge's comments: This scenario sounds like a story O. Henry would write.

So with that, I am off to once again annoy others. More awards and stuff to come...just hang in there!

See ya tomorrow.