Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Oscar Tuesday, and other things...

Yes, this year's Oscar nominees are announced. Yeah, some choices are predictable, some are not. It's typical Oscar time. I'm still PISSED with a capital P that Paul Giamatti was shut out for "Sideways" and "Cinderella Man", and I'll probably never get over it.

However, some of the choices make me happy. I haven't seen "Dreamgirls", but I love Eddie Murphy and I really hope he wins. To me, it'd more than make up for him being shunned for "Nutty Professor". Then again, I'm torn because I also really liked Alan Arkin in "Little Miss Sunshine". I kind of wish I had him for a Grandpa, but hey - not everyone can be so lucky.

Also, is Peter O'Toole turning into the Susan Lucci of the Academy Awards? I mean, COME ON! How many flicks has he been nominated for? As much as I love Forest Whitaker (in general - I haven't seen him in "The Last King of Scotland"), it seems to me that Peter is long due for a regular Oscar, not the "consolation" Oscar. Same with Martin Scorsese. I have not seen "The Departed" yet, but I hope to. The cost of movies around here is a REAL deterrent...I'm not in the mood to sell my kidneys on the black market just to buy a movie ticket. God Bless On Demand...

Anyway, that's my two cents about that. That - and 98 more cents - will get you a large cup of coffee at my workplace cafeteria.

A couple of award winners today - and a new award for them. Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you...
Yes...in life, these things definitely exist. Whether it's an error you made, or just a frustrating random incident, "D'oh!" has become a universal phrase. It knows no age, no gender and no boundaries. So let's get to it!

First designee: The owners of Butch, the dog; in the general vicinity of Casper, Wyoming.

Reason: To quote the article -

So far, he's all bark and no bite. But mail carriers aren't taking any chances. They've stopped delivering mail to around 24 homes on Navarre Road because of Butch, a shepherd/chow mix.
Apparently, Butch has trumped the "through rain, sleet, snow or hail" creed. I can't say as I blame the carriers either...the postmaster in Casper, Wyoming, said that there have been eight instances of Butch's "welcome" since 2002 - the most recent being just a few weeks ago. Some carriers stated that Butch even goes out of his way to terrorize them.

The family, of course, loves their dog. Again, from the article:

Owner Jolene Whittle said Butch has always had a problem with mail carriers.

"He got out last Monday and was supposedly chasing the mailman. According to the mailman, Butch tried to attack him," she said.

But Whittle said Butch has never attacked anyone, including her daughters, 2 and 4.

"I have two little girls," she said. "I wouldn't have a mean dog in my house."

The post office is playing it safe, and all 24 customers are required to go into town to pick up their mail until further notice.

Judge's comments:

As I've mentioned before, my mom was a rural mail carrier for over 20 years. She's seen some outrageous stuff too. Dogs were definitely a hazard when she was carrying. She was never bitten herself (that I remember, anyway).

However, the same could not be said for one of her tires.

Yep - one day when she was out on her mail route, she had a big dog (a shepherd/lab mix or something) chase her. Her tire went flat, and upon further examination, the mechanic saw bite marks. Mom presented the owner of the dog with the receipt, and they were incredulous.

"Are you sure that's what happened?" one of them asked. Mom simply nodded and went on her way. The owners paid for the tire, but they were still skeptical.

Later on, there was a multi-day stretch when Mom didn't see the dog around. She asked one of the owners what happened, and it turned out that this "non-aggressive" dog attacked some livestock and had to be put down.

When a dog goes after livestock, that's a big no-no in farm country. Many times, a dog gets a taste for blood and you can't control them. So, you put 'em down...usually with a shotgun. It's an unwritten rule.

I can't stand ignorant dog owners...just because a dog doesn't attack your kid doesn't mean he/she won't attack strangers. It's not a good idea to let your dog do that to your mail carrier. They'll probably just bark, but if you take that chance, they'll bite one day and then you'll be SOL.

I wonder what my cats would do to the mailman? Chelmsford would just hide...Millie would hijack the mailtruck and drive to McDonalds or something.

OK - next designee and last instance for today.

Next designee: a smuggler from Uzbekistan.

Reason: Well, the article says:

Kazakh border guards arrested a man trying to smuggle 500 parrots in his car from neighbouring Uzbekistan, media reported on Tuesday.
That's it. He's a parrot smuggler. Furthermore, he was driving an Audi, and nobody's really been able to figure out how he fit 500 parrots into an AUDI.

Judge's comments:

OK - I have other questions:

First - How on Earth did he get caught anyway? I have my own theories:

(a) Multi-colored feathers flying out the window
(b) Repeated cries of "Polly Wanna Cracker" in some kind of Eastern European language (in high decibels, of course)
(c) A crazed look in the drivers' eyes when he realized what a stupid idea this was.

Second - I understand that people like parrots. I'm not one of them. I have my reasons...in my opinion, they are very ill-tempered and mean spirited. I'm sure I'll get angry letters from people saying, "Sudiegirl, you're wrong!" and that's OK. But is there really a call in the black market for PARROTS??? I ask you - would someone be SO desperate for a parrot that they'll call on someone wearing a trenchcoat with feathers hanging out the bottom to buy a pet?

Finally, could you imagine the noise level in the car? Another postal story from my mom's past - she had to deliver live chicks to someone.

The chicks were noisy. She turned on the radio.

The chicks peeped louder. She turned up the radio.

It was a war between the chicks and the radio...by the time Mom got to her destination, she had temporarily lost her hearing thanks to the chicks and the radio. Very interesting stuff...Mom was bringing this box up to the house, and saying, "HEY - I'VE GOT YOUR CHICKS HERE!"

So, obviously, this is not the kind of undertaking that Rancho Sudiegirl, Inc., will be engaging in.

And with that, I bid you a fond "Polly Wanna Cracker"...

(who is spitting out feathers in sympathy)