Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Water Buffalo Wednesday (Hey, I'm trying it out - leave me alone...)

First of all - I'd like to show that I've made a few friends in the past few days. Some of them are in my sidebar, but people have come to visit so fast, I decided to list them here too.

You can click on their names to get to their blogs: Mad Scientist, Margaret, Kathryn, Phil, Kiraa, Kilroy_60, Trev, and Star8278. Please go visit, and tell them Sudiegirl sent you. You'll have fun visiting their sites. More new friends will be listed tomorrow - I've added to the blogroll since the holidays.

Now that these folks are part of the "Neighborhood", I'll get back to doing what I do best.

First of all, I wound up NOT watching "American Idol" last night. Why watch Simon when you can watch "The Jetsons" and "The Flintstones"? Granted, most people my age would disagree, but if I want TV that's meant to make me happy, "American Idol" ain't it. So basically, if you want me to keep up with it, I'll have to be paid well and in a timely manner. Sorry - dem's da rules. If you want to tell me about it, however, that's what the comments box is for. I promise I won't delete them - I many not agree with them, but I won't delete them. (See rules of Rancho Sudiegirl in the sidebar.)

First of all, we have a couple of "Celebrity Criminal" updates.

Naomi "I REALLY Need Anger Management" Campbell has confessed to the heinous crime of throwing a cellphone at her assistant. The article states the following:

During a five-minute court hearing in Manhattan Criminal Court, Campbell, clad in a clingy, black Rachel Roy dress, gray Louis Vuitton jacket and four-inch stilettos, read a statement in which she acknowledged hurling the phone in her Park Avenue residence on March 30, but insisted she wasn't aiming for the victim.

"I threw a cellphone in the apartment. The cellphone hit [maid] Ana [Scolavino]. That was an accident, because I did not intend to hit her," Campbell said.

She did not explain what prompted her to throw the phone. Scolavino has said that Campbell became enraged after she could not find a pair of $200 jeans she wanted to wear for an appearance on the TV show "Oprah."

Well - that's certainly a shining example of stable behavior. (Uh - yeah.)

However, Li'l Ms. Supermodel Hissy-fit had her OWN demands for sentencing. Let's compare her requirements with what the court wants:

State requirements:
In exchange for admitting guilt to reckless assault, the 36-year-old Campbell was sentenced to five days of community service, participation in a two-day anger management class and payment of $363 to cover the maid's emergency room bill.
Ms. Campbell's requirements:

As she pursed her famously plump lips and stared at the floor in front of the judge's bench (editors note: is this description of her mouth really necessary?), her attorney requested that she be given an extra month to complete the community service because of the demands of "what is known in the business as Fashion Week."

Breitbart said Campbell was booked for runway modeling and photo shoots in California, Brazil, London, Paris and Milan in the coming weeks.

He also asked that she be allowed to perform her community service inside rather than outside, saying she feared "stalkers." ... Breitbart said Campbell was hoping for secretarial assignment or perhaps one in a school or hospital.

OH my. Could you imagine Naomi Campbell being on a secretarial assignment? I mean, really. What if the copier broke down? Nobody from Xerox would want to even step in the office...she'd nail 'em with a stapler! No no no. Again, why do stars feel they can just make demands regarding stuff like this? In the interest of justice, here's some suggestions for Naomi Campbell's public service. (What can I say, folks? I live to give.)

  1. Trash pickup - just like Boy George did.
  2. 24-hour Britney Spears babysitting detail (however, she might teach ol' Brit a few things - not a good idea)
  3. Anything that would require her to be quiet and serene, with no blunt objects to throw.

Anyway - enough of her. Next...PHIL "Stick Your Finger In A Light Socket, Kids!" SPECTOR.

Yes, folks - jury selection for Phil Spector's trial is coming up in March of this year. In a nutshell, Phil Spector was arrested in February 2003 for the slaying of Lana Clarkson (star of the Roger Corman epic, "Barbarian Queen"). The defense theories are as follows (per the article):

Among his requests, Blasier asked for information surrounding the use of a Taser to subdue Spector the night he was arrested, saying its use could have influenced his statements that night. He also sought access to e-mails from Clarkson's computer, which might indicate whether she was depressed or suicidal at that time.

Spector has claimed Clarkson committed suicide. According to documents filed in the case, Spector told police that Clarkson was waving a gun around and that she ignored him when he told her to put it down.

No longer will the world have to wait for this trial.

You know, I've never served on a jury before, and I really want to. I'm not sure why, I just do. However, I wish I could serve on THIS trial a lot more than usual. Why?

I just want to see if that hair is real. Seriously. I mean, I know that Spector is eccentric, but I didn't know that eccentricity caused one to shun conditioner. It's not like he can't afford conditioner, you know...Suave is always cheaper than the leading brand. Jeez!

Finally, remember the post I wrote a few days back about having a country of one's very own? Well, a few people have responded to that post to tell the world how they'd like their own country to be. So with that, Here's what commenters had to say...

Jules sez:
My island is going to be Sextopia. Clothing or slutty lingerie optional, toys encouraged and lots and lots of naked men (it is after all MY island!!!)

Margaret sez:
I have yet to come up with a name for my country or any of the details. But I have picked my king and we shall rule together. Of course, me being queen, I hold all the cards. I do have my National Anthem. Trees by Marty Casey

Ella Michelle sez:
Ellavania will be a place where even the buildings and common objects will be beautiful as well as functional, the capitol building will have a deco style movie theater and anything involving Paris hilton will be banned on sight. Population: about 12 (immigrants welcome pending IQ test, brains must be functional) Main Imports: liquor, books and fluffy quilts Main Exports: b movies, snark and cupcakes

Trev sez:

Let me know when you get your Country. I would like to apply for the National Meterologist job. In this position, I would be able to advise of any imminent skyf**king that would be a threat to the safety, security, and successful gardening of your citizenry. (Note: "skyf**king" is a proposed term on Trev's website - click on the link to see what it means.)

See, it's possible to have fun in this world - you just have to shall I put it...a little bit warped.