Thursday, November 09, 2006

Sometimes this s**t just writes itself.

OK - as a Hollyweird celebrity basher, I just HAVE to comment on this.

Unless you're a hermit that lives at the top of Mt. Everest and has NO TV, newspaper, internet or phone, it's true...Brit and Kev are breakin' up. I know I am only adding fuel to the celebrity fire when I write about this, but I made myself too damned sad yesterday writing about Dad.

Here's Brit's side:

(BTW, I'm not reprinting any of the articles in full because I don't want to make this entry as long as War and Peace, thank YOU!)

Britney Spears is saying bye-bye to K-Fed. The pop princess filed for divorce Tuesday from her husband, former backup dancer and aspiring rapper Kevin Federline. The Los Angeles County Superior Court filing cites "irreconcilable differences."

Spears, 24, married Federline, 28, in 2004. They have a 1-year-old son, Sean Preston, and an infant son who was born Sept. 12. The divorce papers identify the baby as Jayden James Federline.

In the divorce papers, which do not mention a prenuptial agreement, Spears asks for custody of the couple's two children, with visitation rights for Federline. The filing does list as separate property, and thereby off-limits to Federline, "miscellaneous jewelry and other personal affects," earnings and other assets to be determined later.

Spears' declaration that she and Federline had no community assets indicate the pair had a prenuptial agreement and don't want to disclose to the court their divorce settlement, said Leon Bennett, a divorce attorney.

A message left with Spears' attorney, Laura Wasser, was not immediately returned.

So, we have Brit's side...and apparently, she was feeling pretty good about the whole thing, if this snippet is to be believed:

LOS ANGELES — Britney Spears appeared upbeat, if a little off balance, as she took to the ice skating rink at New York's Rockefeller Center just hours after filing for divorce in Los Angeles.

The 24-year-old pop star cited "irreconcilable differences" in court papers filed Tuesday seeking dissolution of her marriage to aspiring rapper Kevin Federline.

As seen in a video posted late Tuesday by the entertainment Web site, Spears — bundled up in a striped sweater and fuzzy white hat — looked happy as she rounded the world-famous rink. Maybe that's because the curtain had finally fallen on her problem-plagued romantic life, a drama that played out publicly in magazines and on television over the past two years.

However, for every side there is another (and what a side it is):

A day after Britney Spears filed divorce papers, Kevin Federline counter-filed court papers Wednesday seeking sole custody of the couple's two children.

The former backup dancer and aspiring rapper is also seeking spousal support. He says the couple's community assets are "uncertain," though Spears said in her divorce papers there were none to speak of, suggesting the two had a prenuptial agreement in place.

"Kevin is prepared to go the distance in order to do what he feels is necessary to protect and safeguard the children and will not be intimidated or dissuaded from pursuit of those goals," said Michael Sands, spokesman for Federline's attorney, Mark Vincent Kaplan.

On his way to party at a club following a performance in Chicago Wednesday night, Federline was asked by a reporter if he was prepared for a legal fight with Spears. He smirked and didn't answer.

Also, if my fave rock station (Classic Rock 94.7 WARW) is to be believed, K-Fed was quoted as saying something to the effect of, "Yo, I'm single. Who wants to dance with a pimp?" (BTW, I have written to the morning team to clarify the quote, so if I'm wrong, leave it in the damn comments, people!)

Of course, in every breakup, sides are taken. Liz Smith's column had this to say:

AT LAST! - And I don't mean the election results. After two years, two babies and being practically knocked upside the head by the media, Britney Spears is disposing of her disposable hubby Kevin Federline. To see this rather sweet and down-to-earth pop princess turned into an untidy, messy, weeping baby-maker and paparazzi target has been distressing. In the beginning she exuded fabulous glamour for young people and her marriage has turned into a terrible cautionary tale. Once she climbs out of the divorce, let's hope she finds the real Britney.

I am not sure, but I THINK she's the only one who believe that Britney is NOT a ho-bag. Also, the real Britney is pretty much what we've seen - the gum-chewing, trailer trash transplanted to Beverly Hills.

Another columnist (Grr! with the FoxNews Website) eloquently told Brit "I told you so!" Click here to read a reprint of his open letter. Please note that he didn't even write this because he LIKES Brit, but somehow, he's taking her side.

Now, I'm the Grrr! guy, and trust me, I have no love for Britney Spears. I think she had little talent even at the top of her game, and is a despicable influence on our nation's youth. I shudder to think that she's a mother.

But compared to her soon-to-be-ex-husband, she's Mother Teresa.

Gee...what a ringing endorsement, eh? Hell, even David Letterman's getting into the act:

NEW YORK - A newly slender Britney Spears, who gave birth to her second child in September, surprised David Letterman on Monday night's "Late Show" by popping up behind him as he was sitting at his desk.

"Oh, my god. ... Nice to see you. How are you? Oh, you look wonderful," Letterman told a smiling Spears, who showed up on the CBS show wearing a very short black dress and sporting a blond bob haircut.

"See, I'm in town, and I'm such a huge fan. ... I had to stop by," said Spears, prompting the talk-show host to gush, "Oh, that's very sweet of you."

Spears then delivered an ego-bruising zinger: "Uh, no, I wasn't talking about you. I was talking about Will Ferrell."

The 24-year-old singer strode off the set when Letterman directed her backstage to meet Ferrell, his guest on the show.

Life is not being kind to K-Fed during this time, either. First of all, here's a legal opinion from an area divorce attorney, based in Bethesda, MD.

There appears to be a prenuptial agreement, which "probably contains a waiver of alimony, but we don't know that," said Bethesda-based divorce lawyer Glenn Cooper. "If he waived it, he won't get it."

And Kev isn't doing so well, in spite of his presence in the media:

Federline's debut album as a rapper, released on Halloween, sold a dismal 6,500 copies its first week, according to Nielsen Soundscan.

He can't blame lack of publicity for the poor sales. "I think there are very few people who don't know that he has a record out," said Entertainment Weekly's Leah Greenblatt.

The guy is having a tough time finding a friendly audience. Amid a chorus of boos, he was body-slammed last month on WWE Monday Night Raw. He had to cancel a concert this week in Cleveland, Greenblatt said, because of low ticket sales. And at his album release party at a New York club last Friday, the crowd was more excited about dancing to popular hits than listening to Federline's rhymes.

I guess I can see why he's wanting support...he sure as hell doesn't want to pay for FOUR kids since he's not the rap superstar he always dreamed of being. He should have called Vanilla Ice before making the move from crappy dancer to inadequate rapper.

Of course, I am not immune to Brit and K-Fed's pain. I just enjoy it. So sue me!

Just kidding...

Here's what I think Rancho Sudiegirl, Inc. should provide. Tomorrow, I am going to put a poll in the entry, asking who Brit and K-Fed should hook up with next. That way, YOU, the readers, can decide! The results will be in Monday's edition of "Musings of a chick", so I'll be anxiously waiting for those posts. Voting will start tomorrow, and wrap up on Sunday at 8 PM EST.

Wow...democracy in action...who'd have thunk?

So to Brit & K-Fed: Don't worry...I've got your back.


PS: Here's the song of the day, celebrating the pair that was K-Fed and Brit...ladies and gentlemen..."The Breakup Song" by Ben Folds