Twiddle your thumbs Tuesday

Happy Talk Like A Pirate Day! ARRRRRRR!

Go here to increase your pirate vocabulary. Go here to watch pirates and ninjas fight. Go here if you don't care about pirate stuff but want to read a good blog.



So it's TUESDAY. Wow. I am really hungry for something but I don't know what it is. Don't you hate that? Thank goodness my hunger wasn't so strong that I chewed off my own leg or something.

Did I remember to report that D and I went to the zoo on Sunday? If I didn't, we did. If I already did, ignore this paragraph. We did see the 1 year old panda cub, but missed the tiger cubs. I think next time, we'll go in the early morning - rumor has it that all the animals are usually out before 11 AM. We'll see.

I've also decided that if it were humanly possible, I want a meerkat. They are very very very very (was that four very's?) CUTE. I don't care if they sound like a squeaky thing instead of Nathan Lane...I WANT one. My friends think I'm nuts, but it's no different than my quest to be George Clooney's love slave. Well, maybe a little different...I don't want to Jell-o wrestle with a meerkat. However, I do want to hug and hug and hug both a meerkat and George Clooney. Is this getting a little too weird for you? Sorry...

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Well, let's just turn to the world around us, shall we? First off...a trip through the past.

Today in history:

In 1783, Jacques Etienne Montgolfier launched a duck, a sheep and a rooster aboard a hot-air balloon at Versailles in France.

(Sudiegirl sez: Well, usually if a sheep is included in some sort of news item, it's getting molested by some lonely farmer. It's nice to know that sometimes they get to travel. Baaaahhh.)

In 1906, addressing the annual dinner of The Associated Press in New York, Mark Twain said, "There are only two forces that can carry light to all the corners of the globe — only two — the sun in the heavens and The Associated Press down here."

(Sudiegirl sez: Apparently, Mark Twain was also a suckup. Oh well, at least he wasn't riding in the hot-air balloon with the sheep...that would have been scandalous!)

In 1959, Soviet leader Nikita Khrushchev reacted angrily during a visit to Los Angeles upon being told that, for security reasons, he wouldn't be allowed to visit Disneyland.

(Sudiegirl sez: Now, that's pretty harsh. After all, pinkos love Mickey Mouse too, right? Maybe someone sent him a Mickey Mouse watch as a consolation prize. It's also a good thing that he wasn't in the hot-air balloon with the sheep...sheep get a bad rap, don't you think?)

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Next, another double award...the Chief Wiggum award, as well as the Egg-Suckin' Dog award...




















Recipient: Richard Albritton Jr., a Florida Circuit Judge

Reason: Fourteen ethics violations. Among them, to quote the article...
...unconstitutionally ordering a probationer to go to church
...jailing a young mother because she was unable to remember her address ...soliciting gifts and invitations to lunch ...getting hunting trips from lawyers ...demeaning a Department of Children and Families staffer because of her young age

Double plus bonus? There are a few...

1. Judge Albritton was initially accused of 36 violations, and even though he didn't admit to the other 22 allegations, they were cited in the Supreme Court opinion.

2. When ordering a probationer to go to church, he stated (per the article):

...Albritton had told a staff lawyer that he realized ordering a probationer to go to church was unconstitutional but that the defendant didn't know that.

Penalty:

Public reprimand, 30-day unpaid suspension, $5000 fine, $1203.70 in court costs.

Judge's remarks:

There's an Elmore Leonard book about a Florida judge that acts surprisingly like this guy. For the life of me, I can't remember the name. However, I can't say that it would be OK for art to imitate life in this instance.

You know, this guy is the reason that lawyer jokes were created in the first place...but then again, what do I know? I'm just a girl. :-p

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Another new award? You betcha!

This one's called ...the "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW"!

This award is dedicated to individuals and/or circumstances that, to quote a "Far Side" caption, can give one a cumulative attack of the willies. This award is sponsored by Rancho Sudiegirl, Inc., where our company motto is "If you pick at that scab, it won't heal."

Today's recipients: Nicholas Grunke, Alexander Grunke (twin brothers), and Dustin Radke, all 20 year old boys from Lancaster, Wisconsin.

Reason for award: The three fellows allegedly attempted to dig up the body of a 20-year old woman who was killed in a motorcycle crash. To quote the article:

Twins Nicholas and Alexander Grunke, 20, and Dustin Radke, 20, were arrested after an alleged attempt to dig up the body of a 20-year-old woman who was killed Aug. 27 in a motorcycle crash. Officials said a caller reported suspicious activity in the cemetery Sept. 2, and deputies found someone had dug down to her vault.

Furthermore, the guys said they didn't even know her. (So they're wanting to dig up someone they don't know because they want to slip her the salami? *shudders involuntarily*)
Double plus bonus? Of course! To quote the article:

Circuit Judge George Curry said that while there was no law that addressed necrophilia, there was enough evidence to continue the case because of criminal damage to property and the alleged attempt to break into a burial vault.
Judge's comments:

They must be REALLY hard up in Wisconsin, that's all I have to say. Also, I have a good friend that lives in Wisconsin...I'll have to ask him if that's a common activity when there's nothing else to do.

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And finally...

Thought for Today:
"He who is unable to live in society, or who has no need because he is sufficient for himself, must be either a beast or a god; he is no part of a state." — Aristotle, Greek philosopher (384 B.C.-322 B.C.).

Sudiegirl's Response:
"He who is unable to live in society sounds like my first husband."

And with that, I'm sayin' goodbye till tomorrow, or later today - you'll never know until I do it! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

Uh...yeah.

Bye.

Sudiegirl