I Heart Wednesdays b/c they are so weird...

OK...enough. We've seen the little squab.

She is a cutie, but the fascination with li'l Miss Suri and her poo and whatever else that's associated with her should be done.

Thank you
The Management


Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit...it seems to me that there's lots of weirdness out there this week, and I don't think I've even covered the tip of the iceberg.

First up...from the "Apparently Goodwill didn't want to get involved" department...

Wow - Cher's selling her stuff. Interesting.

According to Darren Julien from Julien's auction house:

"This is a lot more than a garage sale. Apart from the dresses and jewels there are Old Masters and architectural drawings...She has a huge following. She is an icon. Her career in song, stage and screen has spanned nearly four decades..."

With that in mind, maybe I'll get rid of some of my junk...er, stuff...as well.

Granted, the event will not be quite as high profile as Cher's, but hey, who wants to deal with snobby auctioneers? It'll be a good ol' fashioned internet yard sale, complete with warped Tupperware lids, mis-matched socks, and empty Billy Beer cans. Stay tuned for more details...and bring the kids, y'all!

PS: Aren't Old Masters a brand of cigar?

Next...another new award..."Scooby-Dooby-Dubious Distinction".

Let's face it...sometimes we're not sure WHY we're celebrating a milestone, but by cracky, we're gonna celebrate it anyway. So with that in mind, here's a new award from Rancho Sudiegirl, Inc., makers of Couch Potato Surprise (mmm...creamy filling!).

Today's recipient: Anthony Love, 40, Brooklyn, NY.

Reason for Distinction: He was arrested for the 100th time, according to a report from The Post-Star.

To quote the article:

Officials with the Warren County Sheriff's Department in eastern New York said they found Anthony Love, 40, of Brooklyn with $1,300 worth of merchandise stolen from outlet stores in his car. He had 99 prior arrests, including several for violent felonies. "We were number 100 for him," Sheriff's Sgt. James LaFarr said.

Judge's comments:

Boy, I bet his momma must be proud. Do they sell commemorative t-shirts for that? I can just see it..."I was arrested for the 100th time by the NYPD and all I got was this lousy t-shirt."

From the "Behold, the Power of Squirrels" files:

A Finnish opera singer's debut performance in a new opera was felled by a vicious...squirrel.

Yep. A squirrel got tangled up in the spokes of the opera singer's bicycle wheel, causing the bike to spill. The singer was knocked out plus his nose was broken.

Did I mention to you folks that I started out as a vocal performance major at University of Iowa? Unfortunately, they didn't have a jazz vocal program to speak of except the exceedingly perky swing choir, so therefore, opera was pretty much it.

Therefore, I had to deal with opera singers. To this day, I still have flareups of the rash I developed from it.

So believe me when I say that nobody throws a snit better than a diva/divo. I imagine once that singer came out of the unconsciousness, the hissy he threw was phenomenal. I'm sorry I missed it. I would have brought popcorn for it and everything.

NEXT...

OK, TECHNICALLY this shouldn't qualify for the "Blinded Me With Science" award, but come on! I'm the boss.
Recipient: NASA

Reason: The continued space shuttle problems.

To quote the article:

NASA postponed the launch of space shuttle Atlantis by another day after discovering a problem with a fuel cell early Wednesday. The fueling process had yet to start when one of three cells that provide electricity to Atlantis malfunctioned. The space agency planned to further examine the problem, and if possible try to launch at 12:03 p.m. EDT Thursday.

"The launch rules say you need to have three good, operating fuel cells," said NASA spokesman Bruce Buckingham. "We're going to see if it's something that's a real problem or whether it's something we can rectify."

Judge's comments:

OK...I know I am not an aerospace engineer. I also know that if it weren't for the space program, we wouldn't have as many technical advances to enjoy as we do.

But the space shuttle? It's just sitting on the launchpad waiting to suck. I'm sorry. I'm old enough to remember the damned things exploding two different times and KILLING PEOPLE!!!!!! The delays are understandable ONCE IN A WHILE, but they seem as common now as Lindsay Lohan drinking tequila shooters.

Give it up, NASA.

PLEASE. For the good of society.

Come on.

I'll give you a cookie.

And another award! I'm just full of it today...

Today's next new award...the "Chief Wiggum Questionable Justice" award. This is given to a circumstance in law enforcement where the fine line between reasonable and unreasonable is really fuzzy.

Today's award goes to a North Carolina appellate court which ruled a search as "unreasonable".

Here's the situation...a guy named Timothy Stone (a name which will make you giggle in just a moment) was subjected to a search after leaving a hotel with his companion in October '02.

Stone consented to the search, but objected to his sweat pants being pulled away at his body. But pulled away they were, and in addition to that indignity, the cop did indeed find a vial of crack cocaine nestled lovingly by Stone's...uh...stones.

Stone was convicted of drug possession and being a habitual felon, but this ruling by the appellate court erased that. The majority ruled that the trial judge should have suppressed the evidence due to the "unreasonableness" of the search. In the dissenting opinion, the search was classified as reasonable because, quote:

"...Stone's clothes weren't removed such as in a strip search, which courts have earlier said requires probable cause or more specific consent from a suspect. Given the circumstances, including that the area where the car was stopped was known for a high incidence of drug offenses, the search "was objectively reasonable."

So basically, the fact that the dude had a vial of crack hidden in his groin makes no difference because of the "indignity" he suffered.

Maybe there's something we don't know...like, the cop laughed at Stone and said, "My three year old son's pee-pee is bigger than yours!"

Or maybe the harsh light of the flashlight singed the dude's schlong.

Whatever...I'm sure one of my lawyer friends is reading this and will have something to say. She always does! (That's not a bad thing, either.)

Well, I'm done sharing my views on life...for now. Wish me luck tonight, BTW...I am auditioning for a different jazz combo (on vocals)...the pianist was classically trained but is now doing the jazz thing. Wow. Kind of like me doing the classical thing for years before I finally followed my bliss. Anyway...do what you have to do to send good vibes my way. I promise I'll do the same for you.

Smooches to all!
Sudiegirl