From the "Oh great, another thing for mothers to fight about in Wal-Mart" department:

Yep...Elmo's back in tickle me form, but more EXTREME!!!!!!! To quote the article, here's what the EXTREME Tickle Me Elmo (or "T.M.X. Elmo") does:

He's still red, fuzzy and really ticklish, but now Elmo's laughing fits have him slapping his knee, falling to the floor, rolling over and pounding his arm.

Woo-hoo.

Don't get me wrong - Sudiegirl loves the Elmo. He's cute, he's fuzzy, and voiced by a very hot-looking black man named Kevin Clash. Rowr. (I'm working hard to NOT be seriously off color here...please understand...)

But come on! First of all, Fisher-Price is ignoring the rest of the Sesame Street Muppet crew. Secondly, there are more things to do than laugh and be "EXTREME".

With that in mind, the good folks at Rancho Sudiegirl, Inc. (makers of "the George Clooney Blow-Up Doll Kit" with complimentary plastic Oscar statue) have come up with ideas for Fisher-Price as far as Sesame Street characters that do things.

1. "Tickle Me Bert" for Lonely Housewives - now in three speeds: mildly amusing, pretty funny, and OH GOD YEAH YEAH MAKE ME LAUGH!!!!! (In case you don't get the joke, look at his head, think about it, and then read the three speeds thing again.)






2. "Cookie Monster Really Eats!", with optional switch for reverse peristalsis (designed for those who want their toys to binge AND purge)







3. "Tokin' Ernie" comes with a brighly colored roach clip, a permit for medical marijuana use, two bags of Acapulco Gold, rolling papers and a Grateful Dead t-shirt. He'll really be laughin' now, not to mention asking Bert annoying questions like, "What's that lady doing with your head?"






4. "Bondage Big Bird"...a whopping 7 feet tall, with custom-made leather chaps, sterling silver chains, hand-braided bull-whip and two sets of handcuffs. Just the thing for your budding sadist!







5. "Forgetful Jones Forgot Where He Lives Again"...a vintage Sesame Street character for Mom and Dad to appreciate. Forgetful Jones comes with his own fifth of Jack Daniels, a map, and money for a payphone in case he gets lost.




So when you think "educational toys", think Rancho Sudiegirl, Inc. Our motto is, "Hey, ya gotta know everything about life...and we mean EVERYTHING!"