Two fractured headlines, RIP Barnard Hughes, and a double-standard in Hollyweird (say it ain't so!)

Fractured Headlines for July 13, 2006

Pot may indeed lead to heroin use, rat study shows
(Well, what I want to know is if rats shoot up or snort. Also, who do they buy the heroin from? Guinea Pigs? Hamsters? Rabbits? Nah...rabbits are too twitchy...rabbits must use coke or meth.)


'Ferocious fossils' found in Australia
(Well, gee, they must not be TOO ferocious if they're imbedded in stone. Maybe they just spontaneously fall off shelves and break bones as their method of "attack"?)

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First of all, a brief salute to Barnard Hughes, a great American actor.

If you click here, you can read the obituary about this fixture of stage and screen. Personally, I was surprised at how many credits he acquired through the years. I'd seen him on many things, but there were many more I didn't know about.

My favorite role of his has to be Dr. Proctor in "Cold Turkey". One of his best scenes is where he's trying to justify his smoking to the city clerk (who's pressuring him to quit as part of a challenge to the whole town). He is so jittery and nervous, he rivals Don Knotts.

His reason for not quitting? He's "congenitally" unable to.

You gotta admit, that's a very clever excuse.

Anyway, RIP, Mr. Hughes...you gave a tremendous gift to the world with your dramatic skills. Thank you very much!

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OK...I've decided to come up with some awards from time to time, based on my frustration with things in this world as opposed to excellence.

The first one is the "Egg Sucking Dog Award". The criteria is very simple. If something or someone sucks, they get the award. It's a very prestigious honor (?) AND it's something that I'll hand out quite a bit, so you get quality and quantity. How ya like them apples? Here's what the award looks like...

The Butthead Award is also a new Rancho Sudiegirl distinction...it is similar to the Egg Sucking Dog award, except for the fact that the recipient doesn't know they suck. Therefore, they qualify for the "Butthead" distinction. Dr. Terry Bennett, the "KING OF TACT", is the inaugural member of this exclusive league, so this award was designed for him and others like him. Take a gander at this!

Finally, the last award is actually geared to a group opinion/belief/action that I think needs to be recognized for what it is. What's the name of this award? I thought you'd never ask.

This is a truly special award...and it's called...

THE SCRAPPY DOO AWARD! Take a gander at this one!

In case you can't read the inscription, it says the award is given "for actions, viewpoints, and general behavior that's totally unneccessary - just like Scrappy Doo!"

And today's "Scrappy Doo" is given to: HOLLYWEIRD!

(Something tells me they'll be getting this award a lot, but ANYWAY...)

Why are they given this distinction? Because of their general behavior. Take a look at this recent headline/feature story blurb from Yahoo! (You can click on the word "Yahoo!" to watch the video as well.

Big Is In

From Vince in "The Break-Up" to Jack in "Nacho Libre," Hollywood's hottest leading men have a little more around the middle.

OK...why does this bug me? Two words...DOUBLE STANDARD.

Women in Hollyweird have so much pressure to maintain their weight. (Click here to access CNN video about this topic)

However, apparently men are immune? Nice. Real nice. While women who have given birth are forced into gyms as soon as they get home from the hospital, apparently men can eat all the Krispy Kremes and Big Macs they want.

Where is the logic behind this? Yeah, Hollyweird wants to present the "regular guy" look in an effort to be real. But what about the "regular gal"?

As I've said before, there's more of us "regular gals" out there than supermodels. Many of us enjoy fulfilling sex lives, have good jobs, friendships, and are respected for more than our outsides. Where are WE in the grand spectrum?

If you haven't noticed, Black and Vaughn are hooked up with hotties as well. However, would that happen if they were plumbers? Or bus drivers? Or teachers? We don't know. However, the pressure's still on us to have bodies like Cindy Crawford.

Give it up, Hollyweird. If you were sued in a class action lawsuit by every girl who's died of anorexia or bulimia in an effort to look like their favorite actress, you'd have to sell Amway and Mary Kay just to survive. The sooner you accept all body types, the better off you'll be. The key is healthy, not starved.

Enjoy your "Scrappy Doo", Hollyweird. If I remember correctly, someone in your town came up with Scrappy, right? Then you're doubly worthy.

I'll be back when there's more to gripe about.

Sudiegirl