Wimpy Wednesday, Impending Doom and Public Service from Rancho Sudiegirl, Inc.

Mullally nabs rights for "Strange" pic
(yes, but when will her voice be altered so it doesn't whine as annoyingly as it did through all the seasons of "Will and Grace"?)

Company comes up with hybrid hamburger
(great - yet another thing I won't eat. As the t-shirt says, "If God didn't want us to eat animals, why did he make them out of meat?")






Well, Wednesday is here once again, and Sudiegirl has fun-fun-plans this evening. Yes, my future father-in-law is coming to visit. If anyone has a dentist who gives anesthetic-free root canals, I think that would be more fun than this. I just can’t get used to the man. He is devoid of a sense of humor, and he talks like he’s reading cue cards. AAAAAAAAAAA! What will your favorite bipolar redhead do? Not a whole hell of a lot, I’m afraid, besides eat salad quietly and suppress every urge to strangle him.


Well, so far only Hoss has contributed to the Sudiegirl Manifesto. If you recall, my first three entries were:

1. Gripe, moan and complain about everything that doesn’t jibe with my way of thinking.
2. Eat copious amounts of junk food.
3. Watch lots of Cartoon Network and Boomerang.

Well, Hoss has contributed three more:

4. Buy a cell phone with annoying ring tones.
5. Be always right.
6. Be nevr wrong.

I knew there was a reason I liked him. :0)


Anyway…whilst spelunking around the Internet, I found a very interesting new website: Sploid. Yes, a whole website devoted to bizarre news items from around the world, and presented in a very reactionary, tabloid manner. The headline that grabbed me today was: "Baby Jesus' Insurance Cancelled".

Now you’d think “Big Ernie” (as Hoss, Jules and I call him) would have a little more street cred as far as underwriting goes, but apparently not in Scotland.

Anyway, go visit this lovely site, and revel in the sensational.


Also, yesterday’s entry (located right below this one, in fact) sparked a creative fire in me. If you’re lazy and don’t want to take the 2 seconds it would cost you to scroll down, yesterday’s entry dealt with a paranoid suburban high-maintenance housewife turned author who thinks that the latest incarnation of Superman is a “deadbeat dad”.

Your old pal Sudiegirl is not without sensitivity to the slings and arrows of life.

Therefore...in an effort to help this author come up with more ideas to help children deal with the cruel realities of life (not to mention assisting in the expansion of many child psychotherapy practices across the country), the staff here at Rancho Sudiegirl, Inc. has come up with more titles for these (pardon me while I swallow back the bile) “Help! Mom!” books.

So without further adieu…here are more social dilemmas to address in "Help! Mom!" children's books:

1. Help! Mom! A Skinny Blond Lady with Shaky Credentials Is Trying To Brainwash Me, And She Won't Eat Anything Without Puking It Back Up! (Granted, the cover will have to be big, or small font, or something.)

2. Help! Mom! I Can't Figure Out the Parental Control on the Cable Box Remote!

3. Help! Mom! I Spent All My Money on Marijuana and Now I Can't Afford To Pay Rent! (this is for the older child/college student type)

4. Help! Mom! Axl Rose Bit Me and I Haven't Had My Shots!

5. Help! Mom! Star Jones Reynolds Wants To Show Me Her Wedding Photos Again!

6. Help! Mom! Michael Jackson Wants To Be My Nanny!

7. Help! Mom! Britney Spears Wants Me To Listen to K-Fed's New Album!

8. Help! Mom! Grandma Went To See the Biggest Ball Of Twine in Minnesota, and All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt!

9. Help! Mom! My Chewing Gum Lost Its Flavor On The Bedpost Overnight!

10. Help! Mom! Everyone's Making Fun Of Me Because You Write These Stupid Books, And Now I'm Scared of Dryer Lint and Peanut Butter Because Of You!!!

Yes – Rancho Sudiegirl, Inc., where our company motto is “What the hell are YOU looking at?”

It’s all for the greater good. Well, I must ramble on and find other people to make fun of and chastise in general.

Smooches to all!
Sudiegirl