Memes memes everywhere and writer's block's still here...

How do you react when you've just told a joke that completely bombed?
Well, I usually put on a blindfold and put a cigarette in my mouth. Then I wait for the firing squad.





You're lying on a beautiful, sandy beach. What drink do you picture in your hand?
A big one.












What TV character’s “tragic” demise actually made you happy?
Not a TV character so much, but when Rush Limbaugh got busted for drugs, I was a happy li’l puppy.
















If you had to be implanted into a TV show (meaning as a character, not an actor), which would you choose?
I would want to be Hank Azaria’s wife – Beth – on “Huff” (first season, before she turns into a shrill fishwife.). Damn, he’s fine!

If you could make $100 a day by avoiding physical contact of any kind with another human being, how much money do you think you’d be able to make before you cracked?
Can you say “Donald Trump” rich?














What book were you forced to read in English class that made you want to gouge your eyes out?
Well, considering I was an English major in college, there’s quite a few of ‘em. I’d have to say anything by Mark Twain, the supercilious ol’ Midwesterner.

Did you ever participate in a school play?
Does Ann Coulter insult people?

What’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever done drunk? Or if you don’t want to fess up to that, what’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever witnessed a drunk doing?
No, no…I’m fessin’. The most embarrassing thing I’ve done while drunk was tell a guy at a party (who was really good looking) that his fly was open. Of course, this was done in the typical “drunk whisper”, meaning the next county also knew about it.

Do you know kung fu?
No, but I know his brother To Fu. (Here comes the blindfold and the cigarette, y’all.)

What's the funniest pick-up line that's ever been used on you?

Well, hmmm…I’m not sure if these are lines or not, but they were definitely ruses of a sort.

I remember one guy lied to me about something really stupid; he said he was in All-State Band, and I looked it up in my programs and on my albums and he wasn’t there. When I called him on it, he started crying and saying he just said that to impress me. Man oh man.

I also remember being at a bar and some guy came up to me & asked, “Hey, you wanna f***?” I said no. Then he got mad and said, “Why not? I asked ya nice!”

Would you rather date someone with a unibrow or a mustache?
Mustache (as long as there’s no food in it, and NO HANDLEBARS, thank you).

1. How long can you sit in front of the tv without wanting to kill yourself?
Well, all day, pretty much. Do you count both waking and sleeping hours?

2. Describe your ultimate day of relaxation.
See question #1.

3. Do you do laundry on a regular basis, or do you wait until you're turning socks inside out?
No comment – NEXT QUESTION…

5. Do you prefer to take the stairs or wait for the elevator?
Oh sure…I take the stairs…
*Sudiegirl giggles uncontrollably, falls on floor, wets pants, scares the cats*