Musings of a chick: Friday fumbles and foibles, PLUS a wedding gig and preliminary doubts about it.

Well, surely you’ve recovered from my inspiring entry from yesterday well enough to read again today.

If not, oh well…such is life, I guess.

One of my new readers thanked me for commenting on the weirdness of the world. All I can say, really, is that at this rate I may never run out of material.

Let’s just start with Hollyweird, shall we?

I see that Leif Garrett has been ordered to stay in rehab. Hmmm…that’s interesting. Even more interesting is a quote from him stating that he never wants his photo taken in orange prison garb again because he doesn’t look good in orange.

Gee…that’s too bad. Like polyester satin disco shirts, platform shoes and girly-hair are all better than prison jumpsuits? Apparently so, according to Leif. I am really confused as to his sex appeal back in the day. I know everyone looked clueless in the ‘70’s/early ‘80’s. I’m down with that. But I was a Shaun Cassidy/Andy Gibb/John Schneider fan - a fact that yes, I am indeed ashamed of, but I was in elementary school so I had no understanding of what real men were supposed to be like, let alone look like.

In the words of Corey Feldman from “Stand By Me”, ol’ Michael Jackson has indeed “screwed the pooch” with all his legal troubles. That’s a separate matter altogether, so I think that will be its own blog entry. Too good to miss.

Bush’s approval rating has hit a new all-time low. Maybe he’ll be too oblivious to notice? Or maybe Dick Cheney will be so pissed he’ll take Dubya on a hunting trip. To quote an old Warner Bros. cartoon starring Elmer Fudd and his hunting dog, “Two go out, but only one comes back.” However, that would make Cheney president if he can cover up the accident well enough. So maybe that’s NOT so good? (And please don’t accuse me of being non-American just because I’m writing a humorous scenario about what might happen. Life’s too short and so is my temper.)

So what’s up with my TX readers? Has anyone cast their votes for Kinky F? If not, the petitions are on his website, which you can access by clicking here. (PS: If any of my TX readers are thinking about gifts for me, I certainly wouldn’t mind a Kinky Friedman action figure…makes a great wedding gift for your favorite bipolar redhead!)

Well, in personal news…I went to big band rehearsal last night. We have a wedding gig this weekend in Fairfax, VA at the Army-Navy Country Club that should prove interesting. Why?

The bride’s mother has requested lots of extra CRAP for us to do, and the guy who got the gig for us in the first place is simply agreeing to it without putting the reins on her and asking for more money for us to do it!

The bride’s mother apparently has the “cliché-mother-o’-the-bride” taste as far as music for the reception goes. Among the songs Mommy has requested: “You Light Up My Life”, “Love is a Many Splendored Thing”, “Wind Beneath My Wings” (which, as you know, I HATE; see entry from August ’05 for my thorough analysis of this tune), and “You’re Just In Love”. But the proof that this woman doesn’t really know anything about music or lyrics? She also requested that all-time appropriate wedding tune, “Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better” from “Annie Get Your Gun”. Yeah, that’s one I always hear at weddings. Any song where the man and woman are trying to prove dominance is always a hit. The verses include references to firearms, bows & arrows, ignorance, drinking, anti-feminism, general maliciousness and even criminal behavior. Don’t believe me? I’ll provide samples of said lyrics right here! Courtesy of www.leoslyrics.com.

I could be a racer, quite a steeple chaser. I can jump a hurdle even with my girdle. I can open any safe. With out being caught? Yes. That's what I thought. (CRIMINAL BEHAVIOR!)

Any school where you went, I could be master. I could be master much faster than you. Can you spell. No I can't. Can you add. No I can't. Can you teach. Yes I can, yes I can. (IGNORANCE, MOCKING OF EDUCATORS)

I can drink my liquor faster than a flicker. I can do it quicker and get even sicker. (ALCOHOLISM)I can live on bread and cheese. And only on that? Yes. So can a rat. (GENERAL INSULTS; UNKIND BEHAVIOR TO OTHERS)

I can shoot a partridge with a single cartridge. I can get a sparrow with a bow and arrow. (ANIMAL CRUELTY?)I can do most anything. Can you bake a pie? No. Neither can I. (ANTI-FEMINISM? STEREOTYPICAL FEMALE BEHAVIOR?)

I'm superior, you're inferior. I'm the big attraction, you're the small. I'm the major one, you're the minor one, I can beat you shootin', that's not all. (NARCISSISM/CONCEIT/OPPRESSION OF WOMEN)

3. Apparently the bride and groom can’t dance waltzes, foxtrots, or swing but they can salsa. And if Mommy’s princess bride can’t get salsa, ain’t NOBODY happy. The guys are really doing pretty well with it, but the music director is clubbing them into submission to learn how to loosen up and not play so white. We’ve really come a long way with this music director, but I know that it’s hell to try and conduct your peers. At least with students, you have the appearance of an authority figure, but with adults that are doing this on a volunteer basis, the boundaries are weird.

4. I gotta shave my legs for this gig.

So I will definitely enlighten you all about how it REALLY went when I get back.

With that, I must spread joy and mirth throughout all the nations.

Sudiegirl,
Who lives to give.