Fractured headlines - never saw this many in one day before!

Wrigley looks to science for gum benefits
(Not good for paintings...note to self...)

Singer Tom Jones Is Knighted
(Will he now be more willing to do role-play with me? You know, like saving the damsel in distress from the fire-breathing dragon, then sing songs to me while I give him the ultimate rubdown? Just wonderin'...)

Britney Sculpture of Birth Causes A Stir
(The only stir it causes in me is nausea. Some things should be PRIVATE, THANK YOU!)

Poll: Americans See, Hear more Profanity
(I can't say as I blame them after that whole Britney statue thing...)

Bush Praises Bolten's Humor and Candor
(Translation: "I like him - he laughs at all my jokes, even the ones I don't get." Plus, are we sure that he doesn't think he hired Michael Bolton?)

Study: Cruise Ships Distress Harbor Seals
(Insert "Love Boat" joke here...personally, I think it's all Fred "Gopher" Grandy's fault.)

Lack Of Oxygen Can Mean More Male Fish
(Why am I not surprised that lack of oxygen and male population growth are related? That explains a lot of male behavior, frankly...)

GM Warns It May Not Be Able To Sell Stake
(Well, DUH! Last I knew, they were a car company!)