And now, from the "yuck" department and the Coca Cola website...

Sudiegirl sez: OK…first Stevie Wonder songs are sung by unappreciative little brats, and now COCA COLA pulls this stunt? This is about as bad as that B-to-the-E crap that I demonized last year (click on highlighted phrase to read more about why I hate it so much).

But I’m digressing again…

This is truly Armageddon lurching its way into the modern world, folks. Between Cookie Monster’s dietary restrictions, B-To-The-E, the “Dallas” movie on the big screen, this world is gonna end. I don’t wanna be here when it happens either…gotta work on that bunker idea with Brad Pitt.

COCA-COLA BLĀK TO MAKE ITS WORLDWIDE DEBUT
(First off, I remember enough about phonetics to know that if we pronounce it the way the symbol tells us – meaning the “long A” sound – the name of this would be “Coca-Cola Blake”. Wouldn’t they have to use a “schwah” or something? All I know is that I have a friend whose son has a new nickname that he doesn’t even know about!)


Atlanta, December 07, 2005 - The Coca-Cola Company today announced that it will launch Coca-Cola Blāk in January in France, the first of several countries – including the United States - that are expected to introduce the new Coca-Cola and coffee fusion in 2006. (Well, at least France went first.)

Coca-Cola Blāk is an invigorating and stimulating blend that has a perfect balance of the effervescent taste sensation of Coca-Cola and natural flavors, with real coffee. The lightly carbonated, mid-calorie beverage, which is designed to appeal to adult consumers, is yet another example how The Coca-Cola Company reaches out to new audiences and addresses new beverage occasions. (OK…first of all…here’s what COKE doesn’t get. Many people drink Coke as an alternative to coffee. Why? ‘Cause they don’t like the way COFFEE TASTES!! I’m pretty indifferent to it myself, but some people flat out hate it. That’s why they drink Coke or (GASP) Pepsi instead of coffee. You’re mixing the mediums again.)

"Coca-Cola Blāk is not just a flavor extension. It is a blend of unique Coke refreshment with the true essence of coffee and has a rich smooth texture and has a coffee-like froth when poured. (Yeah, but are there grounds in it? That’s always been my problem…)We believe we have created a new category of soft drink – an adult product in a carbonated beverage – and a whole new drinking experience. This brand is ideal for any part of the day when people are looking for renewed energy or simply to take a break," said Marc Mathieu, vice president, Global Core Brands, The Coca-Cola Company. (Oh boy…anytime phrases like “adult product” are used in a product description, I don’t care who you are…you start looking for the coupon for the free vibrator and K-Y Jelly.)

The launch will be supported by television, print, outdoor and in-store communication. Advertising and creative for Coca-Cola Blāk will be developed locally and regionally. (Who should be the celebrity spokesperson for “Coca Cola Blake”? Someone that speaks very quickly, as if on a caffeine buzz…how about that Moschitta guy from the ‘80s Federal Express commercials? Or if you want someone jittery, maybe…well, Don Knotts is gone. Who could possibly take his place as the “nervous guy”? Maybe that one guy from “Kids in the Hall” that did a voice in “Lilo and Stitch”? I am so confused…)

About The Coca-Cola Company
The Coca-Cola Company is the world's largest beverage company. Along with Coca-Cola, recognized as the world's most valuable brand, the Company markets four of the world's top five soft drink brands, including Diet Coke, Fanta and Sprite, and a wide range of other beverages, including diet and light soft drinks, waters, juices and juice drinks, teas, coffees and sports drinks. Through the world's largest beverage distribution system, consumers in more than 200 countries enjoy the Company's beverages at a rate exceeding 1 billion servings each day.

For more information about The Coca-Cola Company, please visit our website at http://www.coca-cola.com/.

*** NOTE TO EDITORS: Media can retrieve digital photos to accompany this story by visiting our Press Center image gallery at http://www2.coca-cola.com/presscenter/imagebrands.html.


Sudiegirl’s final opinion?

This makes me think of the first time I went to Vegas with my 2nd husband. We visited the World of Coca-Cola, and they had soda dispensers that had all kinds of Coca-Cola products in them from all around the world. One of them was a mix of Coke and Fanta Orange, which was pretty good. But there was some kind of soda that contained beta-carotene and that tasted really NASTY.

My point is: just because you combine two things that people like already doesn’t mean the combination will be tasty.

Wake up, COKE! Drink some of your own product.

Sudiegirl the indignant Diet Pepsi drinker

April 25, 2006 POSTSCRIPT:

I was finally able to locate some Coca-Cola Blak. I found it at a CVS pharmacy in Silver Spring. I paid (and God will punish me for this) $1.79 plus tax and deposit for an 8-oz. bottle. The bottle was glass (Ooh...catch me, I'm swoonin'.) Anyway, I purchased it with my own hard earned cash-money, and brought my bounty back to my office. I took the first sip...

Yes, folks, I was dumb enough to take the first sip.

It tasted like...well...mocha Diet Coke. If you like the combination of coffee and Diet Coke, then this is for you. If you would rather have your tongue shaved, I'd pass it by.

I shared it with two guy friends from work, and poured the rest down the sink. All in all, perfectly good money wasted. I really don't think people are going to pay close to $2.00 for an 8-oz. drink that tastes like mocha Diet Coke. I'll have to suffer in a special level of hell for that one; I know that much!

A dumb consumer...
Sudiegirl