Musings of a chick: And now, from "Leftist - oops - I mean lefty

Sudiegirl sez: In my nuclear family, the only “lefty” is my mom. To be honest, though, I think she has it in her to be ambidextrous. She eats right-handed, crochets right-handed, cuts right-handed and pitches a softball right-handed. Everything else is with the left. She was TAUGHT to do the eating, crocheting and cutting right-handed and she had no adverse effects from it (that I know of). But this article kind of caught my eye so I’ll do what I do…

What Makes a Lefty: Myths and Mysteries Persist
Corey Binns
Special to LiveScience
LiveScience.com
Wed Mar 22, 10:00 AM ET

Can openers, scissors and spiral-bound notebooks discriminate against lefties. (Actually, you can get special left-handed versions of these items, but that does require searching for them and possibly paying extra. Still, they’re there.) Despite such challenges, 10 to 12 percent of the human population has historically preferred the left hand. (OK…the English major in me is coming out again. Do these two sentences mean that lefties have a CHOICE and they pick the left hand? Is it a preference like white meat or dark meat on a turkey? Or do they mean that it’s an unconscious choice – an automatic thing? Buy a thesaurus, you yahoos!)

Why doesn't the number ever waiver? (‘Cause it’s wearing sensible shoes? I DUNNO…) Nobody knows for sure, but new research supports a body of evidence that suggests genetics have a hand in it all. (Well, I’m not sure about that completely…why? My sister and I aren’t lefties, and I don’t think my sister’s kids are lefties.)

In the meantime, the myth remains that lefties are more artistic. And the idea that left-handed fighters have an advantage persists on scant evidence, supported by Scottish lore and Rocky Balboa's heroics in the ring. (Uh…question…and for once I’m not being a smart-ass. Was Rocky Balboa real or fictional? If fictional, then the heroics in the ring were actually pulled off by Sylvester Stallone. Does this guy do any research?)

Look, Mom: Both hands!
(Look, mom, no brains!)

Like many traits, handedness is probably determined by a complex interaction between genes and the environment, experts figure. (That seems logical to me…)
Left-handers are more likely to have a left-handed relative. (I’ll have to ask Mom about that one…) But researchers have yet to find the gene or set of genes that pick one hand over the other. (Maybe it’s a stealth gene. Maybe it isn’t MEANT to be found? Can’t scientists leave crap alone once in a while and just accept the fact that it exists, PERIOD?)

Most scientists agree that handedness exists on a continuum. (Well…is the continuum in a good neighborhood with adequate schools?) The idea helps explain why some people bowl with their left but hold a spoon in their right. (No it doesn’t.) Truly ambidextrous people, who have indifferent preference for either hand, are extremely rare. (So people can be partially ambidextrous? I’m not sure…I can do things with both hands like type, but when I play an instrument like a piano, the right hand is definitely the one that can pick up on more complicated fingerings than the left. The left hand just kind of sits there, and if it could talk, it would say, “What are you trying to do, KILL ME?” I think the best classical piano piece for people like me is Beethoven’s 2nd movement of “Moonlight Sonata”. Lots of whole note chords in the left hand – truly paradise. ANYWAY…)

In a new study, researchers measured the width of elbows in living people and in skeletons from a medieval British farming community. (This is right up there with the scientists that study cow flatulence, isn’t it? I think I covered that in a previous entry from November or December ’05.)

The researchers assumed the 9-to-1 ratio of handedness would match the ratio of bigger right to left elbows. The prediction held true in the modern-day group, but not for the medieval bones. (The only reason I can think of for that being true is because one side is more dominant than the other; however, that wouldn’t necessarily apply to bones, would it? It might when the person is growing through childhood and teenage years.)

Most of the ancient farmers' left and right elbows were the same size. (So it wasn’t a status thing, like, “Ay, me lass, I have a big elbow, and you know what they say about gents with big elbows…”)

"It's obvious that they were using both hands equally," said anthropologist Amanda Blackburn from the University of Manitoba. "It's not fair to say they were ambidextrous in the true sense of the word, but they may have had a tendency to use both hands equally. It's a behavior they may have learned rather than just being born like that." (That makes sense…my mother said she learned to crochet from her grandmother, who taught her the right-handed way. She ate right-handed because her mother taught her how. I don’t know about the softball throwing thing…or the cutting thing.)

The findings will be published in the April issue of the journal Current Anthropology.

Oppressing the left (yep, that’s indeed true!)

Lefties have long suffered. In India and Indonesia, eating with the left hand is considered impolite. Chinese characters prove extremely difficult to write with the left hand. Not so long ago, teachers slapped the wrists of left-handed American elementary students. (They did more than that, thank you…try tying the kid’s left arm behind their back so they would have no choice but to write with the other hand. Many messed-up people in this world because of that, ya know?)

Humans have shown the ability to learn to use their non-preferred hand after injuries, when required to perform manual labor, or in the face of cultural pressure. (I’d like to find the idiots that created that cultural pressure about left-handedness, line them all up, and give them one of those patented Three Stooges multiple slaps. It may not change anything, but I’ll feel better.)

Yet preference for handedness appears to take root in the womb, or even earlier. (Well, the only thing earlier than the womb is conception, and I’m not really sure the participants are thinking about that. “Honey, could you move to the right about three degrees? I want our child to be gifted in physics.” Please…)

One genetic model, called the right shift theory and developed by psychologist Marian Annett at the University of Leicester, suggests that a single gene increases the likelihood of being right-handed. (I’ll bet it’s Gene Wilder…what say you?)

"The essence of my right shift theory is that there is a gene that helps to develop speech in the left hemisphere of the brain and increases the probability of right-handedness," Annett told LiveScience. (So does that mean that lefties should also be mute?)

Whatever evolutionary jog made humans left-brain dominant for speech also made us right-side dominant, Annett argues. Since our closest relatives—chimpanzees—can't talk (but if they did, what would they talk ABOUT?), the gene must have arisen in recent evolutionary history. One study found most chimps prefer to fish for termites with their left hand. But other recent research shows most chimpanzees favor their right hand when throwing overhand. (I think they left out “feces” in that sentence, but maybe I’m just cynical.)

"The prevailing genetic model seems to be pretty strong. There are only a few weak points that are yet to be addressed. Not only can they not pinpoint a gene, there's conflicting data out there too," said David Wolman, author of "A Left Hand Turn Around the World" (Da Capo Press, 2005). (One question…what kind of glue do genetic models use? Can one sniff it and get a buzz? I know it’s not scientific…deal with it.)

In a twist on the genetic model, the gene for hand preference might also be the gene for hair whorl direction, the way a person's hair turns on the top of their head. Half of people with counterclockwise whorls prefer their left hand, according to research by Amar Klar at the National Cancer Institute. (Well, when I go home again, I will grab my mom in a headlock and check her whorl. She may call the cops on me, but hey, it’s all in the name of science.)

The same system that patterns hair and handedness could also play a role in the asymmetrical organization of the brain. "It is clear that the same genetics control both traits, along with the side of the brain where language is processed," said Klar. (Is there any way doctors can remove those genes from people who shouldn’t be allowed to talk anymore? Like, say, Simon Cowell or Pat Robertson?)

The artistic myth
(OK, it’s totally non-related, but every time I hear the word “myth”, I think of the running gag from “The Muppet Movie”…every time someone said that some concept was a myth, the other character would say, “What?”. The first character would repeat themselves by saying, “Myth! Myth!”, and then Carol Kane would come out and say, “Yeth?” It was funny at the time, I guess.)

The answer to left-handedness is likely in the brain, and probably has to do with that organ's asymmetry, scientists generally believe. Somewhere in our lopsided brains is something, probably a gene or two that determines which hand prefers to throw a ball and which hand likes to write. (And sometimes our brains have a sense of humor…why not?)

Unfortunately, scientists can't open up someone's brain and see a sign for hand preference Wolman said. (Why not? Besides the reason that it’s cruel and inhumane…)

For anyone to move their left hand, or anything on their left side, instructions come from the right side of the brain. Motor centers of the brain control the hands; lefties have more dominant motor centers on the right side of their brain. (So that explains where that “left handed people are in their right minds” saying came from…)

But just because the directions come from the side of the brain associated with artistic function, doesn't mean a lefty's more likely to compose a Shakespearean sonnet. (YEAH! Way to stick up for the righties…)

"The big myth is that the right side of the brain is somehow a creativity bull's-eye. That's not the case, and doesn't have anything to do with handedness. You need resources from both sides of your brain to be creative. All people use both sides of the brain," Wolman told LiveScience. (George Bush doesn’t.)

Fighting advantage

Lefties have had the upper hand in hand-to-hand combat since the Bronze Age, and even today, in the boxing ring. Left-handedness could be beneficial in times of violence, and genetically passed from one generation of fighters to the next, as shown by Charlotte Faurie and Michel Raymond of the University of Montpellier II in France. (I wonder why that is.)

While a righty fought with a sword in his right hand and a shield in his left, a left-handed swordsman could make strong surprise attack on the opponent's unprotected right side. Recall Rocky Balboa's last-minute switch to his southpaw. (Again, is he a real person? Nobody’s clarified this yet.)

The Kerr family of Scotland, known for sinister swordsmanship, went so far as to build Ferniehirst Castle with an unusual staircase that spiraled counterclockwise. The architecture provided left-handed fighters more freedom to swing their sword. (That’s NOT FAIR! Wait…maybe it is…)

Today, the common Scottish terms Kerr-handed, kerry-fisted and corry-fisted mean left-handed. (That’s better than the definition of “haggis”, I must admit.)

The concept of lefties advantageously killing off all the righties doesn't hold strong, however. The 9-to-1 ratio of right- to left-handedness existed long before the advent of sword and shield warfare and continues to this day. (So it’s quantity as opposed to quality? Works for me.)

Some researchers suggest prenatal levels of testosterone determine hand preference. (Blame hormones…good plan…NOT!) Brain damage from trauma in the delivery room is another explanation. "Proud lefties cringe at the thought of it," said the left-handed Wolman. (That seems rather gruesome to blame hand usage on brain damage. Who the hell came up with that theory, anyway? Probably the same person that thinks arsenic makes a great insecticide and you don’t even have to wash your fruits and veggies after using it on them.)

"The genetic model has wider support among the laterality community than brain damage at birth or levels of hormones in the womb," Wolman said. "At the end of the day, everyone seems to go back to the gene." (Well, it’s better than going back to the bar…)

Sudiegirl’s final opinion?

Jeez…leave it to humans to make something complicated. Can’t lefties just be lefties without wondering why? They just are. Leave ‘em alone and make more left-handed stuff, that’s what I say.