Thursday, February 23, 2006

And now, from the "Swine of the Times" files and Yahoo! News...

Sudiegirl sez: Wow! Two pig stories this week…two sheep stories last week. There’s another sheep story that will be included later, but I’ve gotta go hog wild with these two. Exhibit Number One…

School Pig Castration Sparks Protests
(Which, really, is dangerous because it could cause a grease fire.)

Wed Feb 22, 4:51 PM ET
A teacher who castrated a live pig in front of her high school class is the target of protests by animal rights activists throughout the country. (Let’s just hope that if she’s the target, she can move pretty damned quickly.)

The protests began after People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals posted information about the incident at Rosamond High School on its Web site last month. The posting does not say when the castration occurred. (Offhand, I’d say probably when the teacher cut the hog’s testicles off.)

"We're concerned not only because animals suffer during these routine castrations but also because of the message it sends to students who are still forming opinions about treatment of animals in our society," said Stephanie Bell, a PETA cruelty case worker. (Yeah, but if you don’t remove the testicles, the pork tastes nasty. Duh! And something tells me that in high school, most people have figured out the basics regarding animal treatment in our society. )

Rod Van Norman, superintendent of the Southern Kern Unified School District school in the Mojave Desert about 70 miles north of Los Angeles, said animal castrations often occur in agriculture classes and are an important skill for students to learn. (Yeah! What he said.)

"I don't know why they're picking on a little school district," he said. (Me neither, pal, but I’ll take care of ‘em for ya. Just a little bit of tainted tofu and wham! The entire PETA membership is paralyzed for a week.)

Charles Parker, assistant state Future Farmers of America adviser at the California Department of Education, said anesthesia is not normally used during pig castrations, which are done to calm male animals, prevent them from breeding and improve meat quality. (SEE? SEE? I TOLD YA! And really, PETA is contradicting themselves. They tell you to spay and neuter your pets, but they don’t think about the possibility of a hog wanting to get busy with you when they outweigh you by a ton or so. Pigs can REALLY get aggressive and seriously hurt a farmer. Plus, as I said, the pork tastes nasty if you don’t castrate them. Seriously. Nasty bacon is not a good thing.)

Bell said she hopes the nationwide attention will prompt the school district to reconsider teaching castration. (Well, for cryin’ out loud, it’s not like they’re gonna teach it in sex education class…although it WOULD be an effective deterrent.)

Van Norman said that's not likely. None of the complaints have come from parents of district students, he said. (I kind of figured…Bakersfield, from what I understand, is a farming community to begin with, plus more “country-fied” than LA or San Francisco so they GET it, and can avoid applying human feelings to animals.)

A posting on PETA's Web site, however, says the organization learned of the castration from Rosamond parents, who reported that one student vomited after observing the procedure and others were extremely upset. (Well, it’s not like you’re getting a FACIAL, for God’s sake! It is not for the faint of heart. Thank goodness PETA hasn’t gone to a “nut fry” in my hometown. I almost went to one myself until I realized whose nuts they were frying. EEEWWW)
Information from: The Bakersfield Californian,
Regarding exhibit #1, it makes me wonder whether Lorena Bobbitt took classes like this. Just wonderin’.

And now…proof that love is blind and non-species oriented, we have this other little gem from (where else?) California.

Willy the Hog Pairs With Antelope at Zoo
(Well, I’ve seen worse pairings…consider Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes…)

Wed Feb 22, 7:53 PM ET
Shortly after his mate went to hog heaven, Willy the Red River porcine spied a new mud-pen pal in what officials are calling one of the oddest pairings at the Los Angeles Zoo. (And if they think it’s weird in LA…)

Willy is a 10-year-old, 187-pound hog and his new mate is a 16-year-old bongo named Nicole, the largest member of the forest antelope family. The couple shares a muddy zoo exhibit where they nap and cuddle together — even nuzzling snout to nose. (You’ve gotta admit, that does sound vaguely cute. And why don’t they mention the bongo’s weight? Maybe because a real lady doesn’t divulge that?)

"It's adorable. Wherever that bongo is, the hog is usually nearby," zoo spokesman Jason Jacobs said. (SEE? Just like Tom and Katie.)

Willy's previous mate Ruby died last summer of cancer and within a week the hog turned to Nicole for companionship. (Not much mourning time. Will the relationship last?)

"I think he was probably lonely. He definitely was aware that his mate was gone," exhibit curator Jeff Holland said. (That’s good. Sometimes the male human will act like his mate’s gone when she’s just at home waiting for him to show up.)

Nicole wasn't interested in Willy at first, but the persistent pig eventually won her over. (I’ve had beaus like that.) They now share breakfast, groom each other and take walks together. Nicole leads, and Willy trails closely behind. (And really, shouldn’t ALL males do that? HAHAHA, or as Hoss hates to say, LOL)

"I think he definitely likes her more than she likes him," Holland said. (Well, yet another parallel to the human world.)

It isn't known how long Willy and Nicole will be together. Curators hope to bring another bongo to the zoo for Nicole, probably another female, and Willy could be moved to another part of the zoo with other hogs. (OK, cue Celine Dion singing “My Heart Will Go On”)

Regarding the final exhibit…Well, if Miss Piggy and Kermie can have a long-standing relationship, why can’t a hog and an antelope? Even better…their offspring could be called “hantelope” or “aog” (with the “a”, of course, being silent).

So there you have it…a pair of “pig tales”.

Oh…that was a bad pun even for me.

Who deserves to be “pun”ished.