Tuesday, December 27, 2005

And now, from the "Typical male behavior" files and Yahoo! News

Sudiegirl sez: I’ve done many stupid things in the name of love…or what I thought love was supposed to be. I guess I can see his point, but I’m too jaded. Pass the Cheetos and let me sit in my new chair and pout instead…oh, and snotty comments will begin…NOW.

British man on his hands and knees for love
(While reading this headline, think about how many times you’ve been asked to do the same thing. Chilling, no?)
Mon Dec 26, 2:10 PM ET

A British man is giving a whole new meaning to begging to be loved as he set off on a 55-mile (88.5 kilometres) crawl on his hands and knees to find a partner. (Not too different from a regular Saturday night at Hooters, is it?)

With a sign saying "Could you Love Me?" strapped to his back and 18 boxes of chocolates trailing behind him on string tied to his wrists and ankles, Mark McGowan began his unusual quest to find a girlfriend. (Not so unusual…I’ve seen men make fools out of themselves in the name of women many times over. This one just has props. Big whoop.)

His route will take him from the site of the Tabard Inn, in Southwark, south London, to Canterbury Cathedral, following the pilgrims' trail made famous in 14th century author Geoffrey Chaucer's "Canterbury Tales". (He’s literary, I’ll give him that.)

The 37-year-old performance artist, who said he is also hoping to raise awareness of people left lonely and isolated during the festive period, is hoping to complete the back-breaking task within 30 days. (Uh-huh. Something tells me it ain’t happening, and he’s spent all that money on candy. Something tells me he needs an event planner.)

"I can remember one Christmas I wasn't in a relationship and didn't want to spend it with my family. I ended up cooking two fish fingers. I'm sure a lot of people have had that experience," he said during a well-earned break en-route. (Wow…he cooks! That’s better than what I do…)

"Some people can spend Christmas in utter desperation and misery and find it difficult to cope with. I hope this encourages people to maybe invite someone over." (He does have a point…I mean, so much emphasis on love and romance is placed during Christmas, and if you don’t have a partner plus your family is far away, you’re stuck with macaroni and cheese and fish sticks. Not that I MIND macaroni and cheese and fish sticks, but you know what I mean…)

McGowan, from Peckham, south London, is no stranger to bizarre stunts or being so close to the tarmac: in 2003 he spent two weeks rolling a monkey nut with his nose seven miles to Downing Street to protest against student debt. (OK, what the hell is a monkey nut? Is it what I think it is? Poor monkey…sacrificed one testicle for the sake of performance art.)

Earlier this year he attempted to cartwheel 57 miles from Brighton to London to highlight the problem of people taking stones from beaches to decorate their gardens. He was forced to give up with a twisted back after four days. (NO! Say it ain’t so…again, he needs to do a little more research before these stunts.)

And in 2002, he rolled across London singing "We Wish You A Merry Christmas" in an attempt to get people to be nicer to cleaners. (Meanwhile, the cleaners are looking at him, going, “He’s bloody nuts!”)

On May 5 this year -- polling day for Britain's general election -- he planted 100,000 kisses on a laminated picture of Prime Minister Tony Blair. (Not necessarily a profound statement, however…maybe he’s just a stalker?)

McGowan is single. (Gee, can’t imagine why that is?)

Sudiegirl’s final opinion?

Suddenly, those personal ads I filed back in the day don’t look quite so bad.

PS: Image above from