Thursday, December 22, 2005

And now, from the "No flies on me!" files and Yahoo! News...

This post is dedicated to Peter...and you know, nobody deserves it more!
I know you have a sense of humor, m'dear, otherwise I wouldn't do this to ya! (Images from

'Tis the season to swat flies..
By James Regan
2 hours, 58 minutes ago

SYDNEY (Reuters) - Australians would be smart to keep their mouths shut and clothes on this holiday season. (Oh gee...that opens up a can o' worms, doesn't it? There's a lot of people in the states that need to do the same thing...)

Christmas comes at the height of summer Down Under and summer brings flies -- billions of them. (Ick.)

The silent bush flies travel in swarms this time of year, from the stark outback to beachside towns, seeking refuge from the sizzling sun in places warm and moist: that often means people's mouths, noses, ears, get the picture? (Yes, thank, a diagram isn't necessary...put the models away...ughhhh)

"Australia has about 20,000 species of flies that provide a service to the environment by recycling nutrients, but the bush fly is the one bad apple when it comes to humans," says entomologist David Yeates of the government's Commonwealth Scientific and Industrial Research Organization. (So I guess the Osmonds were right...One Bad Apple does spoil the whole bunch, girl!)

A three-year drought across much of Australia that finally broke this year gave Australians a reprieve in Christmas's past from the pesky, though harmless bush fly, which is most prolific along the coast after a rainy spring.

"Females can lay lots of eggs, probably hundreds given the right conditions," Yeates says. (Well, gee...that's quite the goal, there.)

In a country that posts "beware of crocodiles" signs on highways and where even city folk are wary of leaving their shoes outside fearing deadly spiders will crawl inside, the bush fly ranks as a featherweight. (I'd hate to meet a heavyweight...)

Yeates says he has never heard of anyone getting sick from swallowing too many flies, though there have been some cases of eye infections. (Eewwww)

"I can't tell you how they taste because I spit them out as soon as I feel one walking on my tongue," said 10-year-old Christine Martin, who had tired of the relentless swatting after a day on Sydney's Manly beach. (Good call.)

How to spend a fly-free yuletide? Some suggest tying a damp cloth around the forehead so the flies take up residence there instead of in darker bodily zones. (Oh boy, the icky images just keep on coming...)

Others throw fashion to the wind and don wide-brimmed hats festooned with wine corks, a swatting machine if you will. These can be accessorized with mosquito meshing or clear cellophane wrap. (So apparently staying inside and turning on the air conditioning is not an option? I guess I'd make a lousy Aussie, then.)

By the start of autumn, around March, most of the flies are dead or soon will be. As adults, the bush fly only lives for a week at best. (Gee, that used to be the life span of my relationships with the opposite sex.)

"They don't do so well come the end of summer, being cold-blooded animals relying on environmental heat to keep their energy levels up," says Yeates. (Oh gee, that's too bad. Remind me to feel bad about that, would you?)

Sudiegirl's final word?
I guess that's the "buzz", huh? (OH, I LIKE THAT PUN!!!!)