Monday, December 19, 2005

And now, from the "Idiots in Santa Suits On Parade" files and Yahoo! News...

(Image at left from Touching, no?)

Sudiegirl sez: Ya know, the s**t just gets weirder and weirder, and I've taken my morning meds so I know it's not me.

I'm not a prude (really, I'm not)...but I do have to say it's not good out there. When drunken Santas roam the streets in search of ill-gotten gain, makes you wonder why folks fuss and fight about whether to call it a Christmas tree or a holiday tree. Santa's gonna piss on it anyway, at this rate. However, if things like this didn't happen, we wouldn't have the phrase "run amok". I LOVE that phrase. It's a very Jonny Quest phrase.

At this point, I'd say my annual tradition of "a movie and Chinese food" sounds pretty damned good right about now, doesn't it?

Drunken Santas run amok in New Zealand
Sun Dec 18, 1:39 PM ET

WELLINGTON (Reuters) - Forty drunken Santas rampaged through central Auckland, stealing from stores and assaulting security guards, the New Zealand Herald reported on Sunday, in a protest against the commercialisation of Christmas. (Yep, and nothing makes your point more clear than when you're inebriated. Slurred speech and compromised reflexes are truly the cornerstones of effective protest behavior.)

Police said some of the Santas threw beer bottles, one tried to climb the mooring rope of a cruise ship and a security guard was punched during the fracas. (Oh boy... not cool. As my mother says, "It's fun till someone puts an eye out.")

"They came in, said 'Merry Christmas' and then helped themselves," convenience store staff member Changa Manakynda told the Herald, which reported the Santas also attacked a Christmas tree. (I can see we're dealing with a real brain trust here. I can hear it now..."Get the bastard, Bruce!" and tree sap flies everywhere.)

The event organiser, Alex Dyer, had warned the antics would only stop when someone was arrested, said the Herald, which linked the incident to "Santarchy". (OK, I'm diggin' the concept. Can you hire them to crash parties for people you don't like?)

Santarchy ( and online encyclopaedia wikipedia ( record protests going back around 10 years in the United States, with participants marking Christmas in anti-commercial manner involving street theatre, pranks and public drunkenness. (Gee, that sounds like half of my family!)

Police said identification was a key issue as they tried to sort out which of the 40 men and women had done what. (Why not give 'em truth serum? That oughta interact with the booze right nicely! They'll confess to crap they haven't even done.)

"With a number of people dressed in the same outfit, it was difficult for any witnesses to confirm the identity of who was doing what," Senior Sergeant Matt Rogers told Reuters.
(Gee, kind of like the Miss America pageant, huh?)

Sudiegirl's final opinion?
1. Friends don't let elves riot drunk.
2. This is what happens when you forget his milk and cookies.
3. You never hear about stuff like this happening for Hanukkah.
4. Did the cops get extra pay and psychological counseling to deal with the aftereffects of beating up multiple Santas?

BTW, feel free to join me on Christmas Day for "Memoirs of a Geisha" and fried rice afterwards, huh?

(PS: Bad santa poster from; Santa with machine guns from Enjoy!)