And now, from the "Why Idiots Should Not Be Allowed To Have Glue" department, and Yahoo! News...

(Sudiegirl sez...this is why you should not piss off a woman. DUH!)

Man Sues Ex-Girlfriend Over Glue Attack
Thu Nov 3,10:00 PM ET

GREENSBURG, Pa. - A man claims his ex-girlfriend owes him more than $30,000 for gluing his genitals to his abdomen five years ago. "This was not just some petty domestic squabble," attorney Grey Pratt told a Westmoreland County jury Wednesday. (Oh, obviously!)

His client, Kenneth Slaby of Pittsburgh, is suing Gail O'Toole of Murrysville. His lawsuit claims the two broke up in 1999 after dating for 10 months and Slaby began dating someone else.
(I think that was the first mistake.)

Slaby contends that O'Toole invited him over to her home on May 7, 2000, where he fell asleep. He woke up to find that O'Toole had used Super Glue to stick his genitals to his abdomen, glued his buttocks together and spelled out a profanity on his back in nail polish.
(Kudos to this woman! Not only did she glue the wanker, she added insult to injury.)

Slaby said O'Toole told him it was payback for their breakup, and he had to walk a mile to a gas station to call for help. He pressed charges and O'Toole pleaded guilty to misdemeanor assault and served six months' probation.
(OK, are you envisioning this guy waddling to the nearest gas station for help with his butt cheeks glued together? How much you wanna bet he was cursing himself for leaving his cell phone at home? I would have paid good money to see this. And BTW, what kind of probation would this lady have to serve? Would her picture be posted all over home improvement stores in Pennsylvania, saying "Please do not sell super glue to this woman"?)


O'Toole's attorney, Chuck Evans, said it was a consensual act and Slaby wasn't permanently damaged. (OK, I've seen some kinky stuff in my time, but you can't tell me a man would ask his lady love, "Honey, would you please glue my wanker to my tummy? That gets me SOOOOOOO hot!" And there probably wasn't any permanent PHYSICAL damage, but MENTALLY speaking, we're talking months of therapy.)

"This is a case that should have been left in the bedroom," he said. (Yeah, but you gotta admit, this is DAAAAMMMNNN funny!)

Sudiegirl's final word?

There are now fifty one ways to leave your lover.
Love hurts.
I'm so happy to be stuck with you.

Any more song cues?

Sudiegirl the glue-free.