And now, from the "Where Old Hookers Go To Die" files and Yahoo! News...

Sudiegirl sez: One time, my Grandma Dawson and I were watching "Donahue" together, and this particular edition was discussing high-priced call girls. My grandma asked me if I would ever do that (not sure why she even brought that up, but that's Grandma for ya); I told her yes, if I could have weekends off and be my own boss. Then my mother threw a pillow at me to curtail further questioning. But anyway, at least I know that if I were to choose this type of work, I would be able to retire somewhere exotic, like Australia. I don't know why I need to remind you of what I am about to do next, but I'm just gonna be sassy. Sorry!

Old prostitutes find work in rural Australia
Tue Nov 29, 8:11 AM ET

Prostitutes as old as 70 continue to work in rural Australia, pushed out of the cities due to strong competition from younger and more attractive sex workers, the author of a study said on Tuesday. (Excuse me, but isn't that AGEISM?)

Brothels are legal across most of Australia, but states have strict laws against soliciting and running brothels in residential areas, and near churches or schools. (Well, that lets out 3/4 of your market, doesn't it? How much does a brothel permit cost, anyway?)

The research, by John Scott of the University of New England, examined prostitution in rural areas of New South Wales state. He found the sex industry has flourished in rural towns, with many prostitutes making regular visits. (Wow...kind of like the Schwan's man back in Iowa, or Avon, Mary Kay, or other door-to-door sales...)

"I've likened some of them to traveling musicians, in that some of them might be based in metropolitan centers and they go out and travel -- they tour the bush," Scott told Reuters. (Technically, it's more like their bush is on tour, isn't it? EEEWWW...I apologize for that pun.)

He said a sex worker might pass through a country town every couple of months, but would advertise in advance and book up appointments. He said sex workers in rural areas tended to be older, and provide more companionship than city sex workers. (OK, I like a challenge...I would love to do advance marketing for some of these women! I would love to know their secrets for better business...)

"In a business that is based on looks and age a lot of the time, it became increasingly hard for workers as they progressed in age," Scott said. (Well, that's what spackle is for, isn't it?)

"If they had been in the business for 20 or 30 years, as a couple were, they found themselves increasingly working further away from the metropolitan centers." (Yeah, but you can make more noise out in the country.)

Scott examined ads in rural newspapers and talked to sex workers for his study. He said the oldest sex worker he spoke to was 58 years old, but those interviewed reported working with older women in their 60s and one as old as 70. (Wonder how menopause is dealt with in the industry? Or other things, like hearing loss? "What's that? Speak up, sonny...don't mumble!")

Scott said rural clients tended to be more polite, and be interested in company as well as sex.
"A lot of the time these blokes just want a bit of a cuddle, or to talk," he said. (Awww...that's almost sweet.)

Sudiegirl's final word?

You know, there's a movie in there somewhere...let me work on that.

Sudiegirl the open-minded.