And now, from the "The Devil Made Me Comment on This" file, and ABCNEWS (and thanks to Jewels and her buddy DO Smith from the McKinney TX schools)

And a good Thursday to YOU, my little cocktail weenies! This little gem of a news item came to me in the form of an e-mail from my buddy Jewel in TX, a link to the ABC Network site, and a note saying, quote, "Oh, you HAVE, HAVE, HAVE to write about this!" Well, I'm such a sucker for flattery, so I am doing it.

I do want to make clear that when I make my irreverent comments, I am in no way downplaying the seriousness of sexual assault in this country and other countries. I have met people through the years who have been victims of rape in various circumstances and stages of life, and if something like this can take care of business, then more power to them and tell me where my happy ass can buy stock. And now, without further, "Hot Stuff" (from the old Harvey comics...GOD, am I dating myself?) and I present the following...

Sep 1, 2005 —

KLEINMOND, South Africa (Reuters) - A South African inventor unveiled a new anti-rape female condom on Wednesday that hooks onto an attacker's penis and aims to cut one of the highest rates of sexual assault in the world. (You know what? For a country that had one of the most skewed views of the world as far as the minority beating down the majority, it's amazing that they have medical professionals brave enough to go out and create a device like this.)

"Nothing has ever been done to help a woman so that she does not get raped and I thought it was high time," Sonette Ehlers, 57, said of the "rapex," a device worn like a tampon that has sparked controversy in a country used to daily reports of violent crime. (OOH...already, an ad tagline..."Rapex - kills pricks dead." Am I good or what? Watch out, Madison Avenue...Sudiegirl's in town and she's ready to go!)

Police statistics show more than 50,000 rapes are reported every year, while experts say the real figure could be four times that as they say most rapes of acquaintances or children are never reported. (Sadly, I think that's pretty accurate. It seems no matter how times change, they still stay the same.)

Ehlers said the "rapex" hooks onto the rapist's skin, allowing the victim time to escape and helping to identify perpetrators. (Kind of like a pirannha?)

"He will obviously be too pre-occupied at this stage," she told reporters in Kleinmond, a small holiday village about 100km (60 miles) east of Cape Town. "I promise you he is going to be too sore. He will go straight to hospital." (Yeah, I'd have to say hospital...I can't think he'd be dumb enough to ask his victim to kindly remove it for him! He'd be momentarily rendered speechless, much like the adline for the DeBeers Diamond company...)

The device, made of latex and held firm by shafts of sharp barbs, can only be removed from the man through surgery which will alert hospital staff, and ultimately, the police, she said. (I guess I was right about that pirannha theory! Yeah, I guess something made out of white latex stained with blood and various body fluids attached to a guy's member, plus the fact he's pointing at it and screaming unintelligably would be rather conspicuous. I think, personally, it should also have a computer chip playing "No More Mr. Nice Guy" on endless loop to further aid identification.)

It also reduces the chances of a woman falling pregnant or contracting AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases from the attacker by acting in the same way as a female condom. (Dual purpose...of course, it was invented by a woman...we can multitask!)

South Africa has more people with HIV/AIDS than any other country, with one in nine of its 45 million population infected.

Ehlers, who showed off a prototype on Wednesday, said women had tried it for comfort and it had been tested on a plastic male model but not yet on a live man. Production was planned to start next year. (Thank God I wasn't in the study...I probably would have been the one participant kicked out because she put it in backwards and inside out. Don't ask...)

But the "rapex" has raised fears amongst anti-rape activists that it could escalate violence against women. (Huh?)

"If a victim is wearing such a device it may enrage the attacker further and possibly result in more harm being caused," said Sam Waterhouse, advocacy coordinator for Rape Crisis. (Well, you know what? Someone should involve him in a study of the device when they start testing it on live models. I guarantee, he'll agree with the Monkees' "I'm a Believer"!)

Sudiegirl's final word?

I hate to use ol' Martha Stewart's catchphrase, but...it's a good thing.

And on that note...please be careful this weekend when you're out and about this weekend!